Good evening everyone and welcome to today's episode of Saturday night with Zizy. Amazingly, it's been six whole weeks since the introduction of this show and I'm sure many of us have learnt a lot. I want to cease this opportunity to say a very big thank you to my esteemed lovers of the show. Thank you for your comments, upvotes and reesteem and to those sending in stories, I'm glad we are able to help solve these problems. Saturday night with Zizy is dedicated to building stronger and better relationships. Without much ado, we will kick start today's show.

DJ play the music in Jenifa's voice. LOL

RELATIONSHIP TALK WITH ZIZY

Today on this segment we are going to be discussing a topic a friend asked me to talk about on this show. I title it "assumption", do not be afraid, I'm not here to preach...lol.

WHAT IS ASSUMPTION?

Assumption is the act of accepting something as true without questions or proof or concrete evidence.
There are two types of assumption:-

• Direct Assumptions: These are our own personal thoughts which we believe to be true regardless of the validity and respond emotionally to it.

• Indirect Assumptions: These are other people's thoughts and opinions we believe to be true without validating the second hand information and also respond emotionally to it.

It is not such a good feeling not knowing what your partner is up to and having no control over his affairs and his time and so the need to add the dots together arises and hence assumption. Assumption usually is the habit of those who fear intimacy, who have been cheated on, heartbroken and even lied to. They use assumption to masquerade emotional pain to avoid feeling vulnerable.
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Assumption is like a termite and it destroys relationships. It makes you build up a case against your partner silently in your head without giving him/her a fair hearing. It is a toxic behaviour and silently destroys relationships. It is wrong to assume your partner knows what is in your head without making an effort to communicate. They are not wizards or mind readers you know? Assumption is always a formed opinion based on what we see and not what we know. When we try to understand and fail, we fill the blank spaces with guesses. We judge based on our own experiences and perceptions as against theirs.
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Examples of Assumption

1. He just sent hi to me. This is very unlike him. He usually sends hi darling. He has stopped caring. (It could be he was very busy and just took the time off to send the hi without the darling)

2. He doesn't call as much as he used to. There is obviously someone else. (How about he is under a lot of stress and you need to be patient with him?)

3. He doesn't make love to me anymore. He no longer finds me attractive. (Maybe but how about he is just not in the mood of making love?)

4. She is always snapping at me. She is definitely cheating on me. (She could just be in one of her bad moods.)

The list is endless. The different examples cited, so many things could have led to that attitude but assumption closes up the possibility of exchange of information and builds a roadblock to communication
As you and your partner develop a pattern of communication, you start to read into non-verbal ques which leads to predictability and then assumptions. We should know that sometimes behaviours of others are not always about us.

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN ASSUMPTION ARISES?

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1. Be aware. Recognize that you are making an assumption. Check if you have facts to prove this thought or it's just a thought.
2. Clarify. Find out more. Get an objective view. Seek and communicate with your partner and set the record straight.
3. Be accountable. If along the line you find out your perception and judgement was wrong, simply accept your fault and apologize.

EFFECTS OF ASSUMPTION

1. It brings about lack of openness. It makes you to stop being open as you want to bottle up your emotions based on your thoughts and the other person becomes receptive.

2. It breeds tension and conflict. The other person feels judged, trapped and unhappy.

3. You give out a negative vibe about you. You will be seen as being judgemental and always jumping to conclusions. You will be seen as a bad person and this will make your partner avoid you.

4. Break up. When the person at the receiving end cannot take it anymore, he or she would seek a way out.
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   Communication can easily solve this issue. Instead of assuming negatively, utilize it positively by using it as a starting point for communication.

DATING TIPS:

It takes only one man to prove to you that not all men lie, not all men cheat and not all men make promises they can't keep. Always give your relationship the benefit of doubt.

FUN CORNER (Just for Laughs)

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$100M to never have sex again in your life, would you accept?

DEAR ZIZY

ANONYMOUS 1
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I just lost my relationship due to genotype issues. He is AS and I'm AS. We knew abt our genotype incompatibility from the very first day, we were cool with it or so i thought. We were together for a year and some months before we switched to long distance relationship because of his job. I'm a Med student, he is a doctor, so we both knew what it meant. I was cool with it because the signs were there that God put us together, everybody knows it, his parents, my parents; we ourselves knew it that our paths were ordained by God. Then suddenly, from nowhere, he comes up with dangers of having sickler kids, the diseases they face, their pain and all. He suddenly stopped talking about the fact that we may be lucky not to have any of our kids as sicklers, or medical methods we could use like IVF and all. Our parents are both aware of the genotype issue but mine are very okay with it. He said he's not sure his parents are okay with it and yet they call me EVERYDAY to assure me nothing will go wrong and to cheer me up and all. Now he has stopped talking to me. Please how do I move on?

ANONYMOUS 2
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I don't want to sound like I don't trust my girlfriend but please I'm really confused. It happened that last night my best friend went clubbing and came back by 4am drunk. I got up from my sleep to go open the door for him when he called and i returned back to my room to continue with my sleep. Meanwhile my girlfriend was in her nightie watching television like she always does. This morning my guy called me on phone and said it would be callous of him not to tell me what happened last night. According to him he said he fingered my girlfriend and she was so wet and even moaning but he didn't have sex with her. I was furious and I didn't believe him so I asked my girlfriend. She affirmed that when she woke up she saw something down there but doesn't know what happened as she was fast asleep. My girlfriend is a virgin and I trust her but this thing keep ringing in my head. Is it possible to be fingered and you won't wake up or even know? Ladies in the house please help me with this one.

Wow! What a trip all the way down here. We have finally come to the end of the show. I hope you enjoyed every part of it? If you have comments for every segment, do not worry Steemit doesnt penalize you for dropping more than 1 comment on a post. Why not express yourself and check out other peoples comment too? It's always fun interacting.

If you love this show and want to support, your SBDs and Steem are very welcomed. Supporters so far are @eurogee, @amec and @samminator @sammest and @smyle. Thanks a lot guys.

I hate to leave you but leave you I must. Until next time when I come your way again, same time, same blog, more hosts, I remain

Yours truly

@zizymena.

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+2348114218222 or [email protected]
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