Open or closed. Like we are a jar of pickles. Even if are an open jar, we can still end up like *Pickle Rick, so is being open really a good word choice? Before I continue my previous train of thought that started with What does it mean to "own" your emotion?" and go on to this second part of the story (and yes, the third part is coming too) let's revisit the first analogy used. In my first post on this, I introduced you to owning a mask. Your knowledge of when to take that mask off and when to put it on is "owning it". To get more idea about what mask I am talking about, read that first post. Here, we will discuss those moments when the mask is off in more detail and go on a little journey of self-discovery to see how "open" about our emotions we really are. What really happens when the mask comes off and are we even ready for it?

Instead of using a word "open" I am leaning more to that of transparency. We could be, as people say "an open book" but what if that book is in a foreign language that nobody, not even us, can understand. Being open and being transparent are two very different things. Being open alone leaves a big possibility to be fake while being transparent is being genuine to oneself and realizing who we really are. If you are ready to take the mask off and join me on this little journey, find a mirror. We are going to have a little exercise.

We are often too subjective when it comes to us which is perfectly normal. After all, we are looking at us from inside, not outside. A change of perspective can sometimes be a fresh and revealing experience. To be open with others can seem like an important thing. In my humble opinion, it is far more important to be open and honest with yourself first. People can not know us if we ourselves do not have that knowledge and understanding.

Take a look at yourself in the mirror. Take a good long look. Who do you see? Try to be as objective as possible. Take a figurative step back from yourself and observe yourself like you would a stranger. That person you are looking at and trying to get to know is someone else. This kind of approach is good when we need to put some things in perspective. Observing yourself this way can seem odd or even scary at first, but I assure you that it brings great benefits. Give it a try.

Alice? Are you ready to go down that rabbit hole? Are you sure? There is no telling what you may find. I will never forget what one very smart and wise person said "Digging inside yourself is like digging through a pile of sh*t." There is so much sh*it inside of us. Learned behavior, conditioned reactions, self-doubt, self-delusion, and fear provoked responses.

Have you ever been formally introduced to yourself? We do that with others, but not with ourselves. Not many people put the effort to learn about their faults and strengths. Not many people are honest with themselves about their emotions and it is always their choice. You choose not to know yourself and you choose not to do the work of self-discovery. You can just as easily choose to work on yourself. Keep looking at that mirror. Who do you see now?

You are free to act like you want. You are free to think what you want and you are free to live your life as you please. Wouldn't it be nice if you were happy while you were living it? Happiness comes from freedom, and freedom is the result of being true to oneself.

When people speak of being open about your emotions, they usually talk about crying when you want to cry, smiling too. Being openly emotional is expressing yourself freely and speaking your mind. Hugging people when you want, showing anger or sadness when you feel them. You do not really have to do that. There are no rules that you have to follow here except being who you are. We are all different. Some people express their feeling more often. Do not compare yourself with others. Compare yourself only to yourself from the past. Are you a better person today than you were yesterday? Before obsessing with are you open to others, focus on becoming honest and transparent with yourself first. Everything else will follow naturally. Your relationship to yourself is always reflected in all your relationships with others anyway.

All images used in this post are made using those that are under CC0 license which means they are free for personal and commercial use. You can find the original image by following this link: tweetyspics
- the smoke clipart used is from Free Clip Art Library
- the bitmoji is well... my bitmoji. Get yours at https://www.bitmoji.com/