UH, yes, the learned behavior. That one is really big and even more intrusive than self doubt and low confidence. Unless we really sit down and discuss certain things in detail , there will be like zero progress on emotional or even mental plan.
In emotional plan, as expected, I am direct like a blunt end of a shovel ( so either I feel and show, or don't feel a thing and have nothing to express... simple ) , but on mental plan the things can get complicated.
Essentially, I think of those two like same thing but one causes the tears and another a headache. (!!!)
Me telling somebody that a pattern they adopted is not really necessary for getting into a tune to ourselves ( some people really need that, most of us need a few laughs and a movie night...) starts a whole avalanche of the reasons for and against.
To draw a line, to much sh*t to clean in one sitting, so it requires some work.