What are your most important needs and are they being fulfilled?

Happiness is the "summum quaerere" of any human being and all our highest priorities are directed in that direction. What we think or feel that makes us happy is what moves our actions, being and energy.

Everyone is shaping their priorities, but in general, they are closer to each other than they seem. In the workshop on non-violent communication, @eco-alex warned us that there is a close relationship between meeting priority needs and the way we relate to the world and people.

Most of the time conflict, guilt and anger are tragic expressions of an unmet need.

Therefore, it is advisable to pay attention to our priority needs and consciously follow up to see to what extent dissatisfactions make us violent, without realizing it many times, in order to improve our internal and external relationships, because it is not surprising that unsatisfied needs also interfere with a healthy relationship with ourselves.

It is in this context that this week's QOTW takes place: What is your most important needs and are they being fulfilled?

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Based on the recognition of certain needs, we are asked to investigate within ourselves which are the most urgent needs for us and to verify the status of their satisfaction. Among these are physical well-being, harmony, autonomy, power, pleasure, connection, authenticity, liveliness, meaning, love, and attention. Each one has indicators by which we will recognize how much importance we give to it, to evaluate it in our thinking and feeling and to recognize if we are satisfied or not with the place it occupies in our lives. As an exercise, we are asked to choose five of the proposals and fly around inside ourselves in search of answers.

Love and attention

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This need has to do with love, acceptance, appreciation, friendship, respect, support, trust, care, compassion, intimacy, gentleness and tenderness that is so important to me and not always received.

A flight of fancy for this need immediately turns on warning lights. Yes, it is true that there are indicators covered, but others no less important feel themselves flickering like a little flame oscillating between losing hope of finding it and settling for the little that flames.

The relationship between optimal satisfaction and conformity is not good, to be satisfied with what there is is not synonymous with being satisfied, without neglecting that it has much to do with what we expect others to give us, which sometimes is an emotional suicide because each head is a world and we are not always good communicators of what we give and what we receive, getting lost in crossroads of being and seeming that instead of helping us to clear the environment of doubts, misgivings or nonconformity, they rather fuel conflicts due to lack of effective communication.

I define myself as a person of soft treatment, but with an Indian in my throat when I swallow more than I should, exploding sometimes, although not expected of me even an eruption, sometimes I feel that I must defend my volcano when things go from blond to dark brown. So, here I see a potential reason to reach forms of communication that can fall into verbal violence, which is nothing to be proud of, but it is there and must be addressed.

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Connection

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For me, this need moves between being and reciprocity, with an empathic-spiritual rather than social communication. To connect with oneself and with the energies that flow around us and, at the same time, with the beings that are in our heart. Seeking balance, autonomy, inner answers, but also, giving and receiving: understanding, companionship, collaboration, durability; space to feel, belong, listen and be listened, among other things.

I am characterized by being very empathetic and feeling others, living their emotions, their feelings. I connect and install myself, sometimes without permission, in the soul of others, coming to perceive their motivations, inclinations, concerns, needs, fears. I do not know if I exaggerate, but I feel that this tendency makes me prevent certain encounters that could degenerate into conflicts because I am more understanding, I establish distance when I consider it pertinent, I approach them with prudence, I am cordial, but not manipulable; I see manipulation from afar and I reject it, I have learned to say No.

"Connecting" with the people I care about is fundamental, but this is not synonymous with "communicating", because sometimes I neglect words and walk away in apparent indifference to others. Little by little, I have become more discreet, more silent, which does not mean that I am not interested, but that I "hear" them without the need for words. This could be cooking up a dissatisfaction that generates conflicts regarding reciprocity because without wanting to, I could pretend to be understood without speaking and be hindering the normal flow of communication.

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Harmony

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Peace, tranquility, beauty, familiarity, balance, relaxation, stability, integrity, ease, are indicators that provide a highly appreciated spiritual state.

For me, it is fundamental to give, receive and live in harmony. It is basic to my happiness. I seek it and I defend it. That's why it's unlikely that I'll get involved in gossip, heated discussions that aren't purely out of stubbornness on my part, stubborn but not conflicting. I value my peace and tranquillity as treasures, so I refuse to make any compromises that would undermine them. The harmony with all its components guarantee that I do not stress, that is my evil, I have a metabolic and psychological tendency to suffer stress, but my evil has its cure in it. I have learned to self-regulate by preventing stressful events and creating a harmonious environment around me, a task in which I have been successful.

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Physical well-being

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Hand in hand with emotional and mental well-being is physical well-being which includes meeting basic needs such as breathing, eating, drinking, sleeping, touching, being sexually active, safety, shelter, health, comfort, and warmth.

This is a priority for quality of life. Without the satisfaction of these needs, we simply would not live. The basic needs cannot be postponed, although they are so basic and present since we are born, we believe them covered or we work for that. It is entirely up to us to meet them unless we are sick, incompetent or elderly.

However, the pursuit of physical well-being can be a source of conflict, especially when one lives with others and has to share one's life and collaborate with others in order to satisfy many of the indicators. It is associated with discord and poor understanding when the adults responsible for a household do not manage with equity in the distribution of budgets and tasks in order to bring food and drink to the table, for example; or to seek disease prevention or medical care, on the other hand.

Being fully satisfied in these times of crisis is not easy and somehow it slips away as a source of discomfort, discontent and even conflicts among family members because of the lack of quality of life. In my case, despite the fact that we are going through a tough crisis in Venezuela in which many needs concomitant with physical and even mental and emotional well-being are neglected, it has not affected me to an extreme degree.

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Meaning

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Finding meaning in life is of the utmost importance. Living with hope, nurturing creativity, seeking inspiration to develop our potential, having a purpose, learning new things, transforming reality, enriching life and being present in our own lives is priceless. The satisfaction that this generates is incalculable.

I feel that being aware of this and trying to keep up with the passing of time is crucial for making the years count and not for counting our years. To flow with our being and give us permission to undertake what we consider good for us and our environment is worthy of praise and blessings.

In this sense, I give "thanks to life for having given me so much", as Violeta Parra's song says because a rebellious spirit manifests itself in me that does not fear change, but opens its wings to challenges, to what moves, to what trembles, without fear of what people will say, but with a deep respect for the divinity that inhabits me; I feel that I can say "if I want to, I can"; with no more limits than those I impose on myself for reasons of security, well-being, self-esteem, connection with oneself, harmony and the search for supreme happiness... And all I can say is: Thank you LIFE!

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By Zeleira Cordero @zeleiracordero

29/01/2020

In response to @ecotrain in ecoTrain QOTW Launch Post : JOIN US! - What are your most important needs and are they being fulfilled?

If you're interested, find out here

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Others Communities I contribute to:

Animation by @zord189

Images are from of Pixabay
Toast by silviarita
Pair by cocoparisienne
Read by makunin
Happy by JillWellington
HANDS by Greyerbaby

Violeta Parra's song on You Tube

Cat

For your kind reading, THANK YOU

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