REACHING OUT TO PARENTS
Being a parent is a huge part of my life and it's a huge responsibility.
It's also something that most people have an opinion about. You can't seem to go out with your children without someone making a remark about their behaviour.
If your children are loud in public you get frowned at, whether they are having fun or upset because they are hungry. If your children are dirty, which mine are alot, some people see it as neglect.
I personally don't have any sugar in our home, and the response I have had from some people is that I am being mean. Suddenly strangers seem to know better than you about how your children should be raised. I've learned to ignore those comments, frowns and tuts.
But something that is harder to ignore is the hard time we give ourselves. This internal voice that can be very criticising, making us question whether what we are doing is good enough, that we are doing wrong by our children.
This voice of doubt, has usually been planted in our minds at a young age, when we were in school or by our parents. Being told we are below average, not making the grades we need to. We continue to experience them throughout our lives, but especially when we too become parents. Seeing our children naturally brings up memories of our own childhood.
We can choose to keep ignoring them, but they will always resurface leaving us doubting our abilities, questioning our decisions. Leaving us irritated, frustrated and impatience, exactly how we felt when we were told we were not doing enough. Or we can choose to deal with this part of ourselves and help us in our role as parents.
Acceptance is the key, accepting ourselves for who we are, acknowledging our feeling, our anger. Helping ourselves to be in the present and not step back into the past. As parents most of us are doing the best that we can and it is important to know that, that is enough.
I got into a conversation with a wonderful mama here on steemit, @solarsupermama about trying to be the perfect parent. To me this strive to be perfect is unhealthy for us and our children. When does it stop, you end up being competitive and obsessive and creating greater divides between us all. It can take over your whole life and you end up missing out on what really matters. Being on steemit is a great opportunity to reach out and support one another,
So stop trying to be perfect, Instead take time out, to listen, to look, to see all the beauty around you.
Connect with your heart, your intuitive, creative self, connect with your children.
Slow down, living is not meant to be hectic. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to get things done, look to your children, witness them exploring the world, discovering things for themselves.
Be present, take a breath, connect with the natural flow of life, engage with and be connected with your children.
Accept yourself for who you are, both the good and the bad.
Stop ignoring or pushing away what you do not like.
This is who you are.
There may be things you want to work on in your life, but in this moment be kind to yourself.
Understand that You are doing the best you can do and you are enough!
It is not just the comment you get on your child's behavior. How someone sometimes looks alone says enough. I have had enough comments and looks about my children and learned that I will never judge the behavior of other children. You do not always know the background of the moment, and do you (often the mother) have to give a "kick" afterwards (as we say in the Neterlands) by saying something negative? Sad.
I hear you @sustainancy. People can be so judgemental. Parents can get such a hard time, especially if our kids are wild and free.
I always enjoy reading your posts Aishlinn
Always full of wisdom and understanding.
I know you personally and even I would admit that in the beginning I thought you were a little strict with the whole suger thing, but now I have had the pleasure of staying on your land for the last week, I've been able to observe your children at close range on a day to day basis.
I have to say that your children are so much more down to earth than than your average kid who has surger pumping around there bodies from morning to night, and I now see that what you have done for your kids is without a doubt the best gift you can possibly give.
Bless.
Thank you Mark, that really means alot. I really want my children to live naturally and for me sugar as it is used today is not natural.It has a huge affect on us and especially children, I really want to see them in their natural state. x
Can vouch for the fact that you really have three amazing, happy, energetic and creative girls. Good parenting all the way.
Thanks so much @shivvi, we parents got to stick together, you saying that means alot x
Absolutely adored that post. Such wise words. I have always stuck by the notion that all I can do is take the good things my parents did, remove the bad and try to do this best with those experiences and a honest heart.
My father was beaten as a child and he did not pass that on to me, he never struck me once and for that I adore the Man. My Mother, who is also a wonderful woman, did not understand the need for restraint. Nothing serious but enough to leave emotional scars. My Daughter's Mum had a very similar upbringing to mine and we have now had a beautiful girl together. Although we are not together now, our Daughter was born into a loving family and we still are today. My point is that neither me nor my daughters Mum have ever laid a finger on our Child, the thought repulses me.
Parental evolution in action and I know my daughter will now grow up to be stronger than I ever was :)
Beautiful post @trucklife-family, I am honoured to call you a friend.
Yeah to making all these great connections on steemit. Thank you for your very lovely and heart felt comment. Right back at ya mate.
2 in one day! fantastic Thank you!!!!!!!
@team-solutions has promoted your post :)
Thank you for the great content.
Ah, parenting will be one strange page of my life when the time comes :/
It'll be one big adventure.
Yes, mama! I put so much pressure on myself. After more than 19 years in the game, I have learned to ignore most of the things others say. Sometimes it gets to me, but it's pretty rare. Most people simply don't know a lot about many of the things that are important to me and that I have educated myself on (like education), so I can just let it go knowing they really don't know better. My internal judge, on the other hand, is something altogether different. Haven't yet learned how to shut her up. Continually reminding myself that I don't expect perfection from others and shouldn't expect it from myself helps. I am so grateful for this community and how supportive it is.
oh I know exactly how you feel, I write this to help remind myself also, it's always easier to say the words. But it's so important, I know from the short time that we've interacted on steemit that what you do for your kids is definitely enough, more so even x really do enjoy having these discussions with you x
Me too. Hope we get to meet some day!!
I hope I have a day of dad dancing :)