Are women who dress provocatively responsible for unwanted attention, or should men learn to control themselves? EcoTrain Question Of The Week
Ah This question, upon reading it for the first time I became annoyed, frustrated and defensive. So many thoughts were running through my head. It is such a huge controversial question. How do I even begin to answer it!
The amount of pressure put on both women and men today to look and act a certain way is huge, especially in western society. Both the media and the fashion industry have a lot of control over how some people choose to dress. Within the music industry today, especially within pop culture it is very normal to see artists wear provocative clothing. It is more about how you look that the actual talent you have. Pop stars are mostly manufactured, so that they can bring in a lot of money for the music industry. Those artists are also seen as role models for some. How many people would like to have the life of a music Star, to be rich and successful. This is what being rich and successful is being portrayed as, getting where you are by how you look. This is the message being put out there.
In the fashion industry it is normal to see items of clothing that are quite revealing or provocative. The fashion industry is part of elite society, clothes are being created for massive amounts of money and owning certain brands are seen as a sign of wealth and success. Then these brands are being copied so that most people can afford them, so that most people can dress like those who are wealthy and successful. Isn't that we have been told to strive for, to strive to be successful and wealthy. Isn't that living the dream. So if we haven't achieved that, would we not want to at least experience a part of it.
From a young age we are being raised to conform, to listen to others, to follow orders, to follow rules. We are then expected to go out into the world and become successful and to achieve our dream life. But that dream life for many is something that they have been told. Being bombarded with images of what success looks like, of how to achieve, how to be happy. Living lives where some rely completely on others to tell them what they need to be happy. That are happy to follow what is in fashion, what is being promoted and advertised. They are happy to follow.
So when women wear provocative clothes are they just following fashion or trying to make a statement?. Are they choosing to dress that way or giving in to the pressure from the media, are they being manipulated by those industries that benefit greatly from the clothes they wear?
What is deemed provocative anyway?
Is there a time and a place to wear certain clothes.
Whose business is it anyway, about what we decide to wear. Should we be going around telling others how to dress. I really do not like to tell other people what to do. To be honest it is none of my business. But I do see a huge connection with how the media portrays women and how some women are dressing today. I do not like how the media portrays women. I can not relate to that image at all. I do not like make up for many different reasons and I do not like the clothes that they wear. I do not like the way that successful women are being judged by how they look and are being torn to pieces if they are not 'turned out well'. So much energy and money being pumped into something so superficial. Yet this is the norm, this seems to be accepted as the norm. So many women following what they are told is the Norm.
We are living under patriarchal rule, were women are still seen as objects for some. Where there is still this urge to keep them in their place. Women who are successful can make some men feel uncomfortable. We are living in a time where manipulation and dominance are strife. Women are put down constantly, their power is constantly under threat. Even in this day and age where we are being lied to, being told that women and men are more equal than ever.
Why is there, this need to make such a huge issue about gender?
Why is there this huge need to cause even further segregation between the sexes?
Who benefits from us being a divided people?
But back to the question, Are women who dress provocatively responsible for unwanted attention, or should men learn to control themselves?
Some people dress certain ways for attention I can't deny that, that goes for both male and female. But if something is unwanted then that is completely different. No matter what way you dress, no one should have to put up with unwanted attention. It is not about how you dress ,it is about the actions, the behaviour, the language used that tells us if somebody wants something or expects something. You do not act unless you are asked. It is called consent. In my eyes there is no exception to this. Are men not mature enough to know the difference, is that not an insult to their intelligence to assume otherwise.
What Do You Think?
1st Image Source:http://www.abitofintellect.co.uk/2017/11/victorias-secret-fashion-show-2017.html
8 Pillars of TribeSteemUp
Dudes need to control themselves.
yes they do @wstanley226
"It is not about how you dress ,it is about the actions, the behaviour, the language used that tells us if somebody wants something or expects something." This. Nailed it. Some people scream "I want sex" and it has nothing to do with their clothes. But that doesn't change the issue of consent one iota. So the real issue is how we communicate with others, not what we wear.
yes! nicely put.. i also felt that is Very important.. how you carry yourself.. if you put out wild flirtatious energy etc. it
yes excatly @artemislives, we need to look at communication and respect.
i hear you!
so to answer your final question
"Are men not mature enough to know the difference, is that not an insult to their intelligence to assume otherwise."
I would simply say, guys are guys.. generally speaking.. and it goes both ways.. I think my answer in the end was that in theory it would be nice if we were all allowed to express ourselves however we wanted.. but in practice we cant really expect men to change.. because even if 90% of men did change, that 10% would still be enough to rock the boat. So getting 100% of men to overcome their repressed carnal desires isn't something im going to hold my breath for!
As for the media, and how they objectify women.. ugh.. as you say.. it is part of this patriarchy.. and we can only wait it out to see that stuff change.. where i live none of that touches this place.. thankfully..
and finally!.. i think Men are softening these days.. it takes time.. generations even.. but men have come a LONG way in the last 30 years.. in so many ways.. but.. for sure there is still a long ways to go!
thank you @eco-alex, it is good to get input from a male perspective, for me there is a huge level of disrespect being shown towards women when they are treated in that way, it really ties in with this dominant patriarchal rule where behaviour like that is accepted between men and even encouraged. I know that we are not talking about all men, I am very lucky to know men who are always respectful towards women, I do think there needs to be more conversations about this especially in mainstream society, we had a case recently here in Ireland that really brought it to the fore front, so things are changing slowly, but they are changing x
exactly. i think you sum it up well in your last paragraph.
i think for far too long there has been this idea floating around that "men can't control themselves" -- and by believing that they are somehow exempt from practicing consent and even "unable to do so" (not just unwilling) that we've perpetuated an environment where women can't wear whatever they want for fear of their safety.
I agree with you totally, I really didn't get to finish this question and want to write another post, there is this culture of acceptance and expectation between men to act this way for sure, it is so dangerous. I just ran out of time answering this question, but it brought up so much for me, I wanted to get it out there first about how fashion is created and something that most people just follow with no really thought as to what they are wearing, fashion today is mostly not respectful to women from the models to the clothes to how it is all presented and from there there is so much more, this dominant view men have over women, this ownership they like to think they have over our bodies, the idea of consent, so much to think and write about. Thank you @mountainjewel xx
Your answer pretty much aligns with mine lovely. We are so conditioned. A great answer and you manage not to let it rip too much haha.
I do argue its emotional maturity or intelligen e thats important. Its up to us to raise boys who can control themselves. People even.. gender aside.