RE: What is Patriarchy: a society led by men or a society led by fear and a feeling of scarcity which happens to be an environment in which the masculine takes charge?
Oooh yes the church. The dark bastion of patriarchy and capitalism all swirled together with guilt, shame, abuse, hypocrisy, and total dismantling of the actual teachings. I was crazy angry when all that started to crumble for me. I couldn't stand the thought of it. Then I made peace with it. Mostly by singing a lot of the old gospel songs I love. His Eye is on the Sparrow is one of my favorite songs of all time. DEfinitely my favorite gospel. My boy, anarchyandbread, made such a beautiful comment, and I realized how glad I am to be raising boys who feel that way. I always say I have done some woman a great service by raising that wonderful human. That's how I surround myself with men who appreciate women. I raise them ;D
I am looking forward to reading all the posts today. I didn't want to read before I wrote, and we spent yesterday in town. I always love what you write, and I doubt it will irritate me. It usually only irritates me when men say it. "What about me?!" Smells a lot like "All lives matter!" I understand what women are doing with that point. It is definitely wise to use a message that can be heard by the ones who need to hear it most.
I think maybe it's a part of getting older? I remember my mom telling me that at a certain point she started getting more straightforward and less apologetic. My mom is super duper feisty. And I think that's happening to me. Maybe I'm entering menopause? I'm tired of a whole host of shit, especially the invisible, emotional labor of having to explain patriarchy to those who refuse to understand. And I'm tired of the emotion police telling me to not be so angry. Like I said, I know it's not really helpful in forwarding the cause. It's just where I'm at, and maybe it helps in a certain way that some of us are here getting loud. You're right that it's fighting fire with fire. Intellectually I can understand that it's not the best way, but practically I don't seem to be able to put out the fire. Some days I feel better than others. It seems to come and go in phases.
I do think we will hit the hundredth monkey pretty soon. The fight is always the last stage before the shift, and I think so many more people are aware now. I'd love to sit down in person too. Not sure when we will be back in the states. Maybe you want a Belize vacation?
haha a belize vacation sounds great! my aunt always talks highly of her trips there! not this year, but perhaps some day.
totally hear you with that's just where you're at!! i think at a certain point we just get so fed up, we can't do any more laboring for them anymore. i go back and forth and after reading all of the posts (i too chose to write mine before reading them), i was so fired up and i realized how rational mine was haha! that's cool- as that's part of it, too, but already i can feel myself getting fired up again about it all...
anyway, go YOU for raising such an awesome guy. some woman someday will definitely thank you! the world thanks you! it's so rare for a man to be emotionally literate in a healthy way... what a sad fact that is... but men who value and can relate to women, while maintaining themselves, dude, i think that is so cool!
and i totally agree that it gets loud! i did liken it to white supremacy in my post as all of this sh*t is connected. at this point, i can't even stomach black people doing emotional labor for white people who say "all lives matter" eee gadddz!! sad thing is, it seems most men can't hear anything about patriarchy. it's like automatic shutdown-- what's up with that?
anyway, have a great (whatever time of day it is for you) and a great weekend! <3
It's a lovely place to visit!
My boy is such a treasure of a human. I'm incredibly grateful he picked me as his mom. He has always been so kind with such a powerful sense of justice.
A few months ago I joined a group on Facebook called United Front White Allies. I have learned a lot, and I go back and forth between battling people and feeling like it's futile. What I really get tired of is the whole "but it's not me. I'm a good guy." I just don't see us getting anywhere without acknowledging that we're all a part of it.
Ahhhh, anyway! It's really good to focus on the future we want to see where none of this exists and we live in balance celebrating our differences and our sameness.