Yes, I know...I know, I'm a bit late again posting this. I thought the deadline was Thursday, and then to my horror, I realized it was Wednesday. However, I really wanted to write about this subject, so I am just going to right now.
We all have these times, where nothing seems to flow, or go, or go our way. But these things don't have to cause us to get into an emotional hole by all means. But since I recently experienced being in one, it's easy for me to recall how this was, and how I got out of it. Planning to stay out this time...

source

How I get out and stay out of an emotional hole

A little back-story: We live very isolated. Our only friends have either moved far away or are far away already. This goes for the kids as much as me. The place where we live has some nice people, for sure, but it's also very hard to meet people who are on the same level as we are. We're homeschoolers, which isolates us even more because here, children go to school. Period.
Aside from a little small-talk on the side of the football pitch at my kids' training, or an occasional chat in my favourite shop in the nearest bigger town, there's really not that much that gets me excited. There are a few homeschoolers in the area, but they all have busy lives, so other than a meetup every other month or, if I'm lucky, once a month, there is nothing else.
That, and the long, gray winter months, got to me and before I knew it, I landed in this emotional hole in which nothing seemed right, with sometimes no emotions at all, and sometimes too much, and with no way to get out any time soon. That is: until I did.

Keeping busy

Instead of wallowing and feeling sorry for myself, I had to remember that it's not only an issue I am dealing with. It also affects the kids. A lot less, because they manage in their own way, and they have each other to play with. My eldest has her boyfriend and that relationship has been going strong for almost 2 years now. So she manages as well. But there is a difference between 'managing' and actually feeling good isn't it? So all this added to my feelings of 'blah'. Am I doing the right thing? Should the kids go to school (DUH, of course not!), should we move to another place within Ireland until we're ready to go? No, not really. It might solve the issue for a little while, or not at all. I even found myself relying on my nearly grown up daughter and her boyfriend whenever he is here (well, he practically lives here) a bit too much. Not to do anything, but merely for company other than the little ones. At the moment, they're the only ones I can have a reasonably adult conversation with, and when they're not here I feel that hole pulling more and more. But I can't rely on them too much, they are starting their lives away from the nest soon enough and I need to let go a bit more. I guess that feeling of the first one to leave the nest not long from now, adds to my misery as well. Although I know she'll be just fine finding her own way. Just not...yet.

source

So I decided to keep busy. I'm always busy, sure. I'm either on Steem, or doing some other (freelance) work, and recently I'm also jobhunting. But all these things are things I do year round, and it's not changing a bit about my feelings.
No, I decided to do things to keep us all busy. Instead of sitting around and waiting for a change, we're making the change.
We have a dog house that needs to be sold because we're not using it, and it could do with some paint.
So we went out to get paint, cleaned the thing and it's now ready to be painted by us all.
Then I got this crazy idea to paint this large wooden trunk I have in the shed.
It's from WWII and was used by the Germans to transport replacement parts for machinery. It still has the paper with all the different parts stuck on the inside of the lid. Somehow this trunk got into the hands of a Russian friend of a friend, and when he left it at her house and disappeared, she gave it to me when she had to move house. I always kept it in its original (ugly green) state, but then I decided to paint it and turn it into a toy chest for the kids. It is white now.
But this week, we're going to get coloured paint and we're going to paint it however we want. I'm looking forward to see how this will turn out!

Green fingers...or brown

There's stuff to plant. I don't want to plant too much, because last year we lost a lot due to the heat and our absence.
But still, there are some left-over seeds to sow, plants to re-pot and others to tame. It's the best therapy!

Meditation

It's funny to see, that while I bury myself deeper into my hole, I meditate less and less. In the end, it seemed like I forgot I even used to. So I have slowly started again. First under the shower (my favourite short meditation) and now I even find myself meditating in the kitchen while cooking dinner (yes, I talk to our food lol).

My message board

I forget things. It's incredible. I can think of all these important things to do today, and tomorrow? I remember nothing, or not even close to all. Then in the evening, I think 'crap! I forgot to get this, or do that.'
I'm not good with diaries. I lose them. Or forget to write in them. Or whatever crazy. Been like that since school and it will probably never change. I use my phone for notes when I'm out of the house. But in the house...nothing.
So I decided to get myself a message board to write things on that I shouldn't forget. It works like a charm and it keeps me busy, while at the same time it also keeps me from being upset because I forgot something.

The great outdoors

source

And the best of all: now that the weather has been better, there's nothing stopping us from going out and into nature.
It can be us painting a wooden trunk outside the house or planting our plants, walks around the area or the mountains, or the beach or lake. It doesn't matter, but after a few hours of outdoor activity, anyone feels better.

My promise

Yes, I've been in those emotional holes before the last one. And before that. It happens sometimes. And every time, I promise myself not to let myself get swept into one like the last time. And each one is different. So in that way, I keep my promise.
Sometimes I think that these emotional holes are actually useful to me. They make me confront myself with myself and reach deep to see what it is that I want and where I need to go or what I need to do to achieve this.
In fact, I don't think these holes are a bad thing at all. At least for me. Because in the end, I always come out of it better and stronger.

Thank you for reading!