Is Iran Going To Be The Next “Asshole In The Wall Closet“?

OMG! Sunday, bloody Sunday!
Today I found a worm in my organic breakfast apple!

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So, inspired by this metaphorical image of worms and rotten apples,
I today would like to try my hand at something I have never done before, geopolitics.
Always good to extend one´s comfort zone.

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The term “asshole in the wall closet“ was created by German comedian Volker Pispers, so the German original is “Arschloch im Wandschrank“.
He was referring to the US strategy to always have a scapegoat, some dictator bad guy in some foreign country against whom they could start another war, up their sleeve.

They did it with Gaddafi, they did it with Saddam.
They could never really prove any connection of Saddam to 9/11, maybe because they did it themselves, and those silly photos as proof of MWD were basically a joke, but, as Pispers pointed out so brilliantly in his show, they knew where Saddam was and the former friend and ally against Iran was transformed into an enemy.

While the US encouraged Saddam to attack Iran in 1980, another proxy war to get back at Iran, which lasted till 1988 with an estimated one million dead Iraqis and Iranians as a result, they certainly could not let Saddam get away with his invasion of Kuwait in 1990.

After Desert Storm, with the Iraqi army defeated and in disarray, the US could have easily continued all the way to Baghdad to get rid of Saddam once and for all, but that´s not how US foreign policy rolls.
They just slapped Saddam around a bit during Desert Storm then put him back in the wall closet for better days.
Also a weak Iraq was no good because that would strengthen the position of Iran, US enemy number one in the Middle East, ever since they humiliated the US with the US Embassy Crisis in Teheran in 1979.

But then, in 2003 it was finally time to shock and awe the shit out of Saddam, leading to an estimated half million of dead Iraqis in the years 2003 to 2011, with about 5000 members of the coalition forces losing their lives over the same period.

Wow, a ratio of one to one hundred!
I think even Hitler did not achieve such a ratio.

Add to those numbers the casualties inflicted by the rise and fall of the Islamic State, whose rise can at least partially be attributed to the US failure to integrate disgruntled former Iraqi military into the new military and to protect the Sunni population from oppression by the new Shia government and you can see the blood toll the Iraqi people had to pay for “freedom, democracy and human rights“.

Then in 2011 apparently one day people in Syria woke up and all at once in cities all over the country noticed that bread prices were too high and decided, they´d better demand Assad´s resignation.
A new asshole in the wall closet had been taken out of his closet and the Syrian civil war started.
So, on the long and winding road to Teheran, Assad was supposed to become the next milestone.

Nobel peace prize winner Obama, a guy who did not have a single day of peace during his two terms, but that´s something he probably has in common with all US presidents since Roosevelt, and I´m not sure if I mean FDR or Teddy, discovered some “moderate“ rebels in Syria worthy of American support, nevermind that those were the same guys accused of having orchestrated 9/11 and other acts of terror against the American people, moral flexibility is apparently good against Alzheimer´s.

But what usually never holds true in the stockmarket, in Syria it did hold.
“This time it´s different.“

Wether it was American arrogance or ignorance, and, frankly, my dear, I don´t give a damn, probably both, leading to a total clusterfuck, is for historians or some other smart alecks to decide.

But Assad had a few things going for him, Saddam did not.
A restrengthened Russia under Putin, unwilling to take shit from the US, as could be seen in the games in Ukraine, with a swift and painless annexation (if you want to call it that) of Crimea, as an ally.
Russian Air Force and military advisors already stationed in the country.
And last but not least, a sympathetic Iran, willing to send his elite revolutionary guards and other shia militia into battle in support of Assad, well knowing, that if Assad would fall, Iran could be next.

And right now, the dark clouds of another color revolution, might just have started to appear in the Iranian sky.
Remember those happy days when everybody thought the US had finally hit political, intellectual and moral rock bottom with George DoubleU and from now on it could only get better?
Surprise! That wasn´t rock bottom at all!

Now make no mistake, I like Trump! What´s not to like?
He ripped the pretty face off the horrible shit US governments have been doing all along.
Now some of you lovely American snow flakes might still sulk because your girl lost and I get it, I really do.
After all, a cunt better comes with a vagina!

But let´s not forget that Trump is the truth!
Nobody is better qualified to represent what the rest of the world thinks about the US anyway.
While Obama´s charming lunacy managed to give the image of the Ugly American a desperately needed paint job after George DoubleU blew it, Trump, in all his honesty, is making Anti-Americanism great again.
He ain´t no smooth operator like Obama and after his locker room talk nobody will give him a peace prize.
Obama might have bombed and droned a bit during his two terms, but first of all, he happened to be black, so all is forgiven, second, it´s good for the GDP anyway, third he got the Nobel peace prize, so he can´t be all bad and at least he grabbed nobody that we know of by the pussy.

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Now this Trump guy on the other hand just goes out there and tells it how it is.

“I hate Iran!“

That´s not very presidential.
This is the guy giving the violent crime which US foreign policy has become a bad name.

Isn´t it a funny coincidence that only shortly afterwards people all over Iran woke up one glorious morning and said

“The egg prices are too high, let´s topple the Mullahs!“

I don´t know if Iranians really like their eggs that much, but some of those “moderate“ protests turned pretty violent pretty fast.
Is this Aleppo all over again?
Can´t be, the Syrians were pissed because of the high bread price not because of some eggs, this time it´s different.

But people are getting shot now in Iran you say?
Yes, but in order to get shot those people first needed to try raiding a police station in an attempt to get their hands on some weapons. In the USofA all you need to do in order to get shot by police there is being black.

Now this police station story could of course be Mullah propaganda, who knows?
But this whole Iran situation is just too good for Trump to be true, so it probably isn´t.
And he already tweeted that the US would be watching the human rights situation in Iran very closely.
So try to live for another 30 or how many years it takes till (Hi Alex! 😉) this stuff gets declassified and you might get to know the truth.

I am of course far too clever to, especially as a German, say anything about Israel´s role in the Middle East, so I rather let some American Nazi do the dirty laundry for me! 😎

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I am as much a friend of the Mullahs as I was a friend of Saddam´s or Gaddafi´s, I would love to see them all being replaced by rainbows and unicorns, but I´m afraid that history has provided enough evidence to show that past American operations in the Middle East have not been very surgical at all but rather pretty much killed the patient.

So if you please could just go back home and let the rest of the world sort out their shit alone.

For more inspiring stories and a group of inspiring and supportive people check out @ecotrain.