RE: Are Women Who Dress Provocatively Responsible for Unwanted Attention, or Should Men Learn to Control Themselves?
Kudos to you for raising an aware young man who appreciates and understands consent. The cultural norms are soooo variable. Seeing western tourists here in Thailand dressed very provocatively by Thai standards, I see it from multiple perspectives. As a woman here I vascilate and sometimes am just openly rebellious. Someone told me recently my school-run-yoga-pants were "too provocative" for our small conservative village cos they showed the curves and outline of my femininity. My response? I suddenly have an urge to wear more yoga pants!! haha... The weird thing here is if I dressed as a cheap stripper-bar girl, I would be accepted and honoured cos I am "working" to feed my family. So what I have learned here in conservative Asia is that it is not the clothing that is taboo, but a woman's personal pleasure. Next week my natural products biz will be launching a new intimate massage oil called "Pure Pleasure" - organic, for shared-personal massage & pleasure. Haha... some fun times ahead!! :)
wow keen insight!! this is definitely a deeper layer of these "shoulds" that are placed on women. and if we are going at it for our own pleasure, that's different than doing it to pleasure men. very interesting! hope your intimate massage oil is a smashing success!!
I totally agree with @mountainjewel. That's a really important insight and distinction. It really is more about how much it pisses them off when we take care of and nurture ourselves.
I'm super proud of my boy. He's really amazing. He works hard, is super responsible, is a wonderful friend, and loves to play and be happy. He just couldn't hardly be more awesome.
I totally feel caught up in cultural issues too. On one hand, I feel really strongly about respecting others' cultures, especially when I'm living in their land, and I think for the most part I would respect their norms. I would wear a hijab if I went somewhere that was seen as important, particularly if it was important to other women. That said, I would definitely wear yoga pants daily cause that just seems over the top a little bit to me. I can honor your culture and still be a part of mine. If they're wonky over yoga pants, that oil is gonna be scandalous, but I bet you'll have some women coming to you secretly!!
I hope there is a QUEUE of women IN YOGA PANTS wanting to lavish themselves with organic yumminess while they learn to give and receive pleasure to themselves!! Cos only when we can feel that fullness that we created within ourselves do we move from being takers in a relationship towards being partners. Only then do we really stand a chance of healthy intimacy with another. kudos to you for raising a boy child that can help to begin to change this toxic "thing" that mostly festers between men and women. Truly you are a supermama! :)
Oh my lord, if there is a queue of women in yoga pants, promise me you will take a picture!!!
At this point I have given so much over the last seven years, that I am just empty. I am totally spent. I can't even begin to imagine ever wanting to be in a relationship ever, ever again. I wanna be a sea witch in my little hut by the sea.
I have to give the boy lots of credit too. He came into the world wired pretty well.