Are Friends Overrated???

in dtube •  16 days ago


Hey Dtube and everybody!

So I was reading a good post from @doitvoluntarily that talked about the idea that one in three adults are lonely. Well it brought to mind this video I did a few years back about whether friends in real life are overrated? So I thought I would throw the question out here for all of you.

Do you think virtual friends are as good as real life friends?

Are real life friends very important to you?

Do you find having kids takes away time available for friends in real life?

You know the Old Guy always loves the interaction, so thanks in advance!


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Oh, this was a really good set of questions!

Do you think virtual friends are as good as real life friends?
Are real-life friends very important to you?
Do you find having kids takes away time available for friends in real life?

This one was really hard for me. I didn't want, virtual friends, to be as important or good to me, because what does that say about me? That I live in a fantasy world? But, these are different times today, and there are many virtuals who make just as good, if not better at times, friends. Oh, they will never replace my friends I have had since kindergarten and beyond, but, I don't want them to replace, but, rather be an extension of those friendships. They are different in so many ways and fill a very different need in the friendship role. Did that make sense?

Real life friends are important to me. I am a touchy-feely kind of person and some days, I need something to hug. :) Plus, I have known so many of them forever and a day and they know where I have buried all the bodies.

Absolutely. To not do so doesn't say much about my parenting. But, I can say that I think they don't take away from time available but they add something different to the mix. Another flavor, if you will. I love my kids and they are a very integral part of my life, just like my friends.

I do know the Old Guy likes interaction... Lots and lots of it. :)

Upped and Steemed

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Oh it is a totally new world! If you get a chance, check out the comment by crescendoofpeace. She actually met her hubby online 12 years ago!!! So that shows you it is not a fantasyland, it is real people separated by geography is all. If I was ruling the world, I would say couples need to communicate online for 6 months before they can marry lol. They would learn a lot about each other without getting caught up in all the woohoo stuff first lol. Im joking but you see what I am saying.

Yes well I have heard that the old man is a time-suck, yet a pleasant one. So I have that going for me ;)

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Oh, haha! You ARE a time-suck!! There is no denying that! LOL I read all the comments after I wrote mine. I usually don't like to do that before as it will sometimes influence my original answer.

There are a lot of people that meet their mates online nowadays, but, that is not for everyone. Heyyy- there is something to be said for the woo-hoo stuff, you know what I mean? I do see what you are saying. And I still think that Serendipity is real too. And unicorns.

Just saying. :)

I watched this last night and had a few thoughts about it but it was late so didn't comment.

Friends. If anyone can count more than a handful then that would be surprising to me. But it depends what we mean by friends I guess?

I have moved around a bit and have lost touch with the friends who are still alive and only see them occasionally (usually at funerals)

On the web friends point. It is weird but when I went to steemfest and other meetups around England. It felt as if I already knew these steemians as we had been in contact for months and had got to 'know' each other this unique web way.

Do I count them as friends? I guess so, as long as they are not too demanding lol

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Well isnt that the bonus though? If they do get too demanding, you can be scarce around them. Less easy to do that in real life. All I know is I think we have a pretty cool little deal here, and Im glad you are a part of it.

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It was your constant nagging, nagging, nagging that got me here in the first place lol so I guess you are an influencer... and a trusted friend.

I'm reminded of an old quote.

The best friends are the ones you never see!

Haha that tickled me in my funny bone.

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Now that is a good quote and one I will get a lot of mileage out of!

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I'm sorry that you lost a dear friend, they are hard to come by in 'real life' it seems, these days. You're right, the arena of friendship has changed a tonne in these last decades. I don't know if it's for the better or the worse either, all I know is that my needs are met...for friendship..online. Strange eh...

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Maybe it is strange because I remember a time before computers. But think of the kids of today. It wont seem strange at all to them. So much of their life has moved to online. I mean without the internet, we would never have this interaction, its crazy, but cool as well :)

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Really excellent questions!

Do you think virtual friends are as good as real life friends?

Somewhat different. Hard to say whether I prefer online or real life. It's certainly more convenient this way. If what you do is discuss ideas then physical location is irrelevant. My ten-year-old daughter has a friend in Michigan (another girl her age) she talks to nearly on a daily basis. It's very unlikely they'll ever meet unless she comes to the States as an exchange student when she's older. They seem to get along much better than my daughter gets along with most of her classmates. She does have a couple of real life friends here but they don't see eye to eye like she and her online fried do. In some ways, online friends can be better than real life friends because in real life you're limited by geography.

Are real life friends very important to you?

Other Steemians are a huge part of my social life apart from family and the handful of real life friends I meet more or less sporadically.

Do you find having kids takes away time available for friends in real life?

Absolutely. Kids, small kids in particular, are a huge time sink. I'm not saying this to disparage kids or having them but that's just the way it is.

You know the Old Guy always loves the interaction, so thanks in advance!

You asked some really good questions this time.

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Thanks for the feedback. It was a bit of an experiment to see who this type of post would go over and I have to say I am pleasantly surprised!

Very cool about your daughter's friend. I remember a pre-internet world where that type of interaction would have been impossible. I am constantly amazed how the internet has changed life in many ways!

I think virtual friends are just as real as "in the real" friends. This is a new day and time and virtual friends are just part of the changing times.

REAL real friends are good too, because you can actually go do things with them and sometimes enjoy their families as well.

I don't have children, but from what I have seen from others is that it is true children take extra of your time as they are supposed to if you do it right, however, during the "kids" years, lots of people make REAL friends with others who also have children and they sometimes do things together or help each other out. Like someone else said on this issue, there is a time and season for each type of friendship in life.

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I am happy to see you feel the same way as I do. I have had "friendly"arguments about the issue or internet friends with people that have never had one and they cannot imagine it!

I've been blessed to have long term friends in real life, and online friends who've become real friends and more . . . most notably my husband, who is my best friend, whom I met online 12.5 years ago, and we've been together ever since.

I have one close friend I've known since I was six years old, and even though we live most of a continent apart, when we talk or (more rarely) get together, it's as though no time has passed . . . we just pick up where we left off.

Ditto with my meditation group in Florida; we've all known one another for well over twenty years, and even though I haven't seen them in person in several years, I know for a fact that I could call any one of them with a problem and they'd be there for me, as they know I'd be there for them.

Yes, times have changed, and our society is both more mobile and more transient than ever before. But that doesn't make friendship any less important; it is simply something we need to make time for in our lives.

And yes, online friends can become real friends, whether or not we are actually able to meet in person, though obviously the relationships benefit hugely if we can.

Kids will always take a lot of time, but that's the nature of things, and that time will become less and less difficult to manage as they get older and go out on their own.

Having said all that, I do believe that a higher percentage of people are lonely today than in years past, at least in part because so many choose to communicate only electronically.

This not only limits human interaction, but eliminates real eye contact and the nuance of body language, much less hugs, and much of what can make life most enjoyable.

I'm very sorry about the loss of your friend last summer. That's never easy, and it leaves a hole in our lives that can be hard to fill. I've been there, more than once, and I do understand.

My advice is to make time to see the friends you have left, or at least to call them on a more frequent basis, as not only can you rekindle your friendship, but it may lead to you meeting more kindred souls in the long run, which is always a good thing. ;-)

Good luck and be blessed!

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I totally appreciate your awesome comment! It is so neat to hear someone that has met a spouse online and it has even worked out over time!!! How cool is that!

I think you give some wise counsel in your thoughts. Many thanks for sharing with us!!

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You're welcome! Have a wonderful day. ;-)

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Hello old-guy-photos, I am Angie and a fellow friend Steemit writer. I think that you only get to have a few really good friends in life. There are other friends that are more on the outside of the inner circle - nice ones who have the same emotional trusting connection as real friends. I believe that friends play a significant role in one's life. Good friends pick up conversations where they were finished last time whenever that was.

But then again, I enjoy my contact with fellow Steemians too. It is a nice feeling to chat at the end of posts. I have a feeling of belonging on this site.

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Yes I share your thoughts on this site as well. I find the people here are really a notch or two above the average internet folks found on other social media. There is a mutual respect and an openness to at least hear other opinions. So much less of the drama of Facebook et al.

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I agree tp the respect and openness old-guy-photos. I also love the humour, nothing like a little laugh often.

Are Virtual friends as good as real life friends? No idea. Don’t have any virtual “friend” who I can classify as “friend” yet.

Are real life friends important to me? Definitely a big YES. We know each other for years. We ACCEPT each other for things we love about each other and things we don’t. And most important... we are always for each other. I think I’m lucky to have very good real life friends who mean a lot to me.

Of course family and kids take time. But that’s life. Every period of your life has its priorities. WhenI was spending almost every day with my friends when I was 18, 19 was fun. And now I have a family, partner and kids priorities are just different. As long as you can balance your life it’s fine.

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Interesting. Well I certainly hope you make many virtual friends on this site. Good comments like the one you left is a great way to start!

None of my "offline" friends had helped me, but my online friends in here are the ones that helped me a ton like no other incomparable really @old-guy-photos
But there are people with real friends and they had found a gem if they do have one or two. But I can truly say that online friends are really friend especially if they are sticking to you for a long, long while.

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Yes I can believe that. It is sad really.

Great questions, I find both kinds of friends to be invaluable, though I think having physical people in your life is probably better for you in the long run. Sometimes I think that the online environment, with its separation from the physical world and its access to our emotions is too stimulating for us and reeks havoc on our conditioning systems (basically the need of immediate satisfaction we tend to develop).

As for kids, in my experience, they definitely take time away from friends, but they more than make up for it by bringing all kinds of new experiences, situations, and laughter, etc into your life.

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