WARNING: Explicit Language Ahead...

Communication is key they say. Well, I have a feeling I will always be locked out because my skills on communication are a bit lacking to say the least. Communication is an art of give and take conversation. Conversations with me, often times end up one sided because of those pesky short circuits I introduced you to in my Context post. Remember?

Not only do those short circuits affect the context of what I’m trying to convey they also affect my mouth when trying to communicate to another human being. You can stand there and have a conversation with me... and I will look like I’m there meanwhile there’s a circuit shorting mouse in my brain, sitting on the couch, watching reruns of Breaking Bad, with a cigarette in his mouth, a bottle of booze in his hand, with his other hand scratching his balls. I'll peek in as if to say ‘Dude, wtf?? Shouldn't you be making your little mousey wheel turn??’ The mouse just smirks, takes his hand off his balls, and shoots me the middle finger.

So now you know about the mouse that doesn't keep the little mousey wheel turning, take a walk with me inside my brain...

Husband comes home, asks how my day was..

In my head… blah blah blah blahbitty blah blah blah the mouse is taking his hand off his balls and and using it to mimic a mouth that is talking too much
What comes out… “I had a nice quiet day. Thank you, how was yours?”
Generic answer, gets the conversation going.

I went to the store so he always tests me, because not only do my communication skills suck, so does my memory.

Did you remember the ketchup?
In my head… fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck the mouse is now throwing a tantrum cause I'm trying to will him to jump on his little mousey wheel to get the gears spinning but nope no chance of that as he takes another sip of booze
What comes out… “ummm, ummm.. yes?? Let me check”
Checks the pantry sees the ketchup… “yeap got the ketchup"

What did you have for lunch?
In my head…the mouse throws his hands in the air and yells dammit, wtf!! Can’t you see I'm fucking busy here?? Enough with the interrogation already!! He gets up kicks the little mousey wheel and plops back down on the sofa
What comes out… “ummmm peanut butter and jelly, yeah that's what I had.”

What are you cooking for dinner?
In my head… the mouse gets up off the sofa… and just when I think he’s going to hop on his little mousey wheel and make my brain work, he takes a detour to the sink and takes a piss, belches, and scratches his balls while walking back to the sofa to sit his lazy ass down and continue watching reruns
What comes out… “Food?”

You get the idea. If you've had a conversation with me, you will realize that I am the quiet one. Every now and then my lazy ass mouse will get on his little mousey wheel and make it turn for me, and those conversations will flow, but if he’s sitting there, watching reruns… you can expect the conversation to be short, and you can expect short answers and no, I will not elaborate on those short answers. It will be up to you to keep the conversation going or I will join my mouse on his sofa, and will be like a child with a look of ‘duhhhh’ on my face while drooling and sucking my thumb.

This has been my Drop in the Ocean post about Communication for the awesome BuddyUP community.

Thanks for stopping by y'all!