My Hardest Day Ever
I haven’t been around the past couple days due to personal reasons. I’ll be back here soon once I get my head a bit straight. I hope you all are well. Here is something I just popped up on Facebook to friends and family there.
Today was tied for the hardest and most cruel day of my life. The other was having to make the decision to put my boy Bandit down 3 1/2 year’s back.
I will write a proper detailed post later about Kitano. This moment I am emotionally drained. My chest is actually heavy and physically hurts to breathe, which is something I have not quite experienced before. Even though I haven’t slept properly in days, I cannot sleep.
I miss Tano more than I could even begin to express. I am haunted by his sudden loss and this entire world is a grimmer place without my perfect boy in it. I feel shattered and lightheaded and can’t break from it. My spirit is simply crushed and will never be the same. This is one of my sons. This is one of my best friends. This is one of my heroes. This is one that will haunt me.
Tano was fine a week ago. He was completely normal. Happy and playful as ever. He was always happy and such a puppy. Even at 13 1/2. Cherish the times with your animals. They are not here nearly long enough. I wish I could get back one of those weeks I was away at a convention just to spend more time with him. I’d give anything. Go and hug and kiss your babies right now as there will be a time that the opportunity will no longer be available.
To those who came with me today, visited me, and most importantly...came to see Tano and visited my boy, that means the world to me. I know it did to him as well. I love each of you. He loved everyone...even he was hiding under the table. He especially loved the kids. He was gentle, clumsy & funny, super clever, and overall...perfect. He was my richest treasure and I am lucky to have found him.
The thing I’ll miss most tonight, is I won’t be getting any kisses. He would shower me with so much love nightly. When I was sad he would cone up to me and lick away my tears. Gross right? Nope. Amazing. Intuitive. Compassionate. He knew how to make people feel better. He wasn’t just a dog. He was a shining example of the pure beauty that exists in this world. The beauty we choose to often overlook, as we are so preoccupied in our everyday normal busy lives. Stop. Take notice folks. They say beauty fades...but his vibrant impact will be felt by those who had the pleasure of meeting him...forever.
I love you Tano. I am truly lost without you and I beg you for some of your strength, as I am in desperate need of some.
Run free Kitano. Forever a good boy 😭
He was simply perfect.
Aww man my eyes are running after reading this, when they leave I always regret so much.. being too busy.. not hugging them enough etc, have strength @blewitt
Losing a pup opens your eyes a bit. I am trying to enjoy and appreciate my babies who are still with me...every moment.
I am so sorry for your loss. Animals are as much (or more) of a part of us as our human companions sometimes. I had to put my boy Tua down in June, and it was heart wrenching. I adopted him when he was 3 months old, and he had severe aggression pretty much starting at 9 months old (mom was a purebred German Shepherd, dad was a purebred Rottweiler). We went through many agonizing years of protecting the world from Tua, changing the habits of our life and who we allowed around. I swore to him I'd do everything I could to keep him alive, but if we had to put him down because of the aggression, I wouldn't let him go through that alone. Fast forward 10 years, two children later, and he ended up being one of the most loyal dogs I've ever had. In April he started limping, and I figured he sprained something because he always ran so fast to get his ball. Sadly, it ended up being a sarcoma cancer in his leg. We treated him as long as we could, but in June he and I finally made that final journey together. I've been around humans when they've taken that journey too, but he ripped my heart out. I had a glimpse of how I think we might start to feel as we age, that there are more and more of the people and pets we love on the other side than there are here. I lost my Dad this year also to cancer, so I guess now they are together somewhere, throwing the ball again and again. Please know that others are thinking of you and understand your grief as only pet owners can. If I end up going to heaven, I know the first ones there to greet me are going to be the amazing dogs I've had in my life.
That's a perfect thought...being greeted by our pets upon arrival. Love it.
Im so sorry to hear about Tua...beautiful angel. No amount of time here is enough sadly...
My boy Badit had Osteosarcoma in his leg as well. He passed in feb of 2015 and everyday I miss him...more and more. My 2 boys...man...I know it would not have lasted forever but it's a complete suckerpunch when it happens.
So sorry about your dad as well. 2018 has been a rough year...my heart is with you as well....
My two little babies are going to be getting extra hugs and treats today in memory of your Kitano no joke. I am so sorry man, I wish you and your family who was closes to him great positive memories of the great life he no doubt had with you (we all can see from the pictures and stories you have shared he definitely did have a great life with you).
Edit: I had just read @parusa's comment and something said in those really thoughtful words I just wanted to echo.
Yeah...it helps. Sometimes I feel so alone...the mid is weird. I end up in a funk and feeling sorry for myself...like I am the only person who's ever gone through this...it's a weird thing...
Sorry for the loose, you just need to be strong, as we can't change the past.
Sorry for the loose,
You just need to be strong, as
We can't change the past.
- hollybee
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.
Truth. Being strong in times like this are always a tremendous challenge that I struggle with greatly. Thanks.
Just remember that awesome energy you two created together will still be apart of you and in some ways so will he. All the memories and love is still here. I would also like to say wow that is one beautiful dog! Respects.
Thank you. I always get stopped when out walking the pups. They all get so much love on the streets. Really cool to see. He was a beautiful soul and my world is a much sadder place without him.
Words fail me, I can only add my condolences and let you know that you’re in my thoughts, and I am cherishing my boys more today based on your advice & example.
Give your boys a hug from me brother...
Terrible. Reading this made me shed a tear for you and for Kitano. No words can make this better. I am so so sorry @blewitt. Like I said before look how much you loved him. He was so lucky and you can see in every one of these photos how much he loved you back.
❤️
Makes me wish I took more photos and videos...even though I have a zillion already. It's not enough...
Oh I am really sorry @blewitt this is so sad. I cant imagine how you feel right now. B estrong <3 sending all my love and support
Thanks dear. Appreciate it greatly. Trying...
There aren't really any words, are there? He was such a good boy and from the way you write about him, I can tell he got all the love he gave back and with interest. I can't make it any better, but I can keep you in my thoughts.
I appreciate that friend....by the way...where the hell are ya?!?