I am so sorry for your loss. Animals are as much (or more) of a part of us as our human companions sometimes. I had to put my boy Tua down in June, and it was heart wrenching. I adopted him when he was 3 months old, and he had severe aggression pretty much starting at 9 months old (mom was a purebred German Shepherd, dad was a purebred Rottweiler). We went through many agonizing years of protecting the world from Tua, changing the habits of our life and who we allowed around. I swore to him I'd do everything I could to keep him alive, but if we had to put him down because of the aggression, I wouldn't let him go through that alone. Fast forward 10 years, two children later, and he ended up being one of the most loyal dogs I've ever had. In April he started limping, and I figured he sprained something because he always ran so fast to get his ball. Sadly, it ended up being a sarcoma cancer in his leg. We treated him as long as we could, but in June he and I finally made that final journey together. I've been around humans when they've taken that journey too, but he ripped my heart out. I had a glimpse of how I think we might start to feel as we age, that there are more and more of the people and pets we love on the other side than there are here. I lost my Dad this year also to cancer, so I guess now they are together somewhere, throwing the ball again and again. Please know that others are thinking of you and understand your grief as only pet owners can. If I end up going to heaven, I know the first ones there to greet me are going to be the amazing dogs I've had in my life.