ULog 6- Feeling a Bit Like a Failure today
Today was dedicated to fixing irrigation and trying to install more. We are in a climate where it doesn't rain for many months at a time and plants will die without supplemental watering. Installing the right system has been one of the garden tasks that consistently don't work for me.
Today was no exception. What looks so easy on a video is not that easy and I got a bit frustrated.
To top it off, my neighbor took out a bunch of geraniums and the greens ended up going to the landfill. In my world, organic matter should not leave a property - it becomes compost and fertilizer. And soil should never be bare. Now, where the geraniums were will be an old truck parked on bare soil.
The soil that had been covered looks so healthy right now. It won't in a few weeks. It is so hard to see how we consistently destroy our environment and I feel sad that I failed to bring that point across to my neighbor.
My video is at DLive
Good Lord Women! You do so much and try so hard and you are just way to hard on yourself.
I hate seeing you like that. I have a friend that keeps telling me to do few things but do them well.
Looking at your garden makes me tired. ........ what about taking sections and just working on those? get each section in working order and then move on to the next. ?
I know in my house.....which if you take the clutter it's kind of like weeds and I do a little bit in each place and then it never feels like I get anything done as each room is never done.
Yes, I need to take my own advice LOLLL but I'm thinking of an old neighbors garden and she has that thing...... you could almost eat off the leaves but it is all she does and it took years for her and her husband to get it that way.
tomorrow there is a group you need to get into. when I see you one I will send you the discord link......if I send it now I think it will expire before you wake up.
You're such a good friend, @snook. Love that. xxx
You are such a sweetie!! I was crying reading all the sweet responses ❤️
I am trying to do sections at a time. But the irrigation is the most important because having that in place will keep me from killing more plants and it frees a lot of time. Hand watering takes forever...
It just got to me yesterday. As you know, there are days - and then, there are days.....
I hear you on the frustration. Sometimes the best thing to do is get it out. Sending hugs!
Thank you so much. Yes, sometimes it is best to share the frustrations too :)
You are not a failure. We have no control over others agency, and despite the best efforts of control of our environment there are times it lets us know how small we are in relation to it. You are a blessing to that entire area you coexist in and with. There are people who are like a poison to everything they are around and touch, and it is those like yourself that helps to balance that out.
May your sleep be full of positive energy that finds you refreshed and remembering what a blessing you are to that beautiful property you put your thoughtful energy into. Whatever has been pulling your attention away from the garden has done so for a reason. Accept and forgive yourself.
Thank you so much!!! It was just a hard day for me for some reason. I feel so sad so often when I see how far we have moved away from even understanding what is good for us.
And often, it just takes so little to make a huge difference but people are so stuck in their ways. Frankly, there are days when I see how we are destroying everything, how the weather patterns are changing, more and more people are hungry in the world, and the list goes on - and I have a hard time to keep focused on trying to be part of the solution.
Having a German mind doesn't help. We were so much indoctrinated to not acknowledge the small wins - if that makes sense...
Then the answer is simple...
You need to understand what you are cultivating there is a big win. Can you imagine if instead of you and your family being there, it was lived on by one just like your neighbor? Uckk
I get is is easy to get in a state of despair as we watch those who believe we are animals to farm destroy the environment around us. Until the farmers of humans are replaced with real leaders who view us as beings who live in/with nature, all sacred and not here to be exploited for maximum profits, the burden is on us to be those leaders for those in our circles. In watching your posts for a few months, I would say you do that very well. And that is no small win, that is huge.
Oh, thank you so much!!! It means a lot to me coming from you.
My husband is starting work in Arizona next month. Do I remember right that you live there? and I think that you were going to move?
If yes, when is your departure date? Maybe we can have a Steemit meetup there :)
Yes, I do live in Tucson but am going to be out of here in two weeks. I still have a lot of loose ends to wrap up even if you were coming sooner unfortunately. I got the last of the boxes packed up and shipped (except for my computer which will be sometime next week). I have to try selling a few more things, finish deep cleaning to turn the apartment back over and get my applications out. I hate going back to work for someone else, but one does what they must. I would like to get 100-150 apps sent out through email in the next week. Then I am wanting to spend the last few days at my moms before I leave. I worry this will be the last time I see her, although I try really hard not to think about it.
I sure hope your husband is working up north. If it is Tucson or Phoenix we have entered the hot time of year and in the next month or so should see temps passing 108-110. Phoenix is usually a few degrees hotter than here in the valley. We get so few clouds, so make sure to account for the direct sunlight with these temps. Hopefully the monsoons will be strong like last year. It was in the middle of them when I drove in and I hadn't seen rain like that here in decades.
He will be by Ganado on the reservation.
Totally get that there is always lots to be done before moving. good luck with everything!
Ah, ok. That is pretty far north, you will have much cooler weather. If you get a break, you should go check out Sedona. I still have never been and still plan on going there one day. It would be about a 3 hour drive from Ganado.
Thanks, I thought the move would never come and now I am wondering how to get everything done before I have to go, lol.
I know how that goes :) Good luck with everything!!!
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Thanks for the tag Snook!
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Don't feel that way @mariannewest. Everyday presents an opportunity to fulfill a task for that day. Maybe you didn't succeed in doing that today but tomorrow will come so cheer up and see what is there to achieve. The day is not over yet.
Thank you so much!! Yes, every day is a new beginning and a new chance to create a new reality. I will continue today to get this thing done!!!
I am so sorry he did that to you :( why is he allowed to rip out your flowers :(
Also are you originally from Germany if yes this might make you feel better , at least a little " Heile, heile Gänzchen das Mäuschen hat ein Schwänzchen. Heile, heile Mausespeck in tausend Jahren ist alles weg <3 " Do you do Permaculture ? And where are you living right now ?
Oh danke. Ich habe das Heile, heile Gänzchen ganz vergessen. Und das haben wir oft gehoert als Kinder :)
Yes, I am a Permaculture person and I live in San Diego. Mediterranian Climate. As it is everywhere right now, the weather patterns are weird and we really didn't have much rain this winter...
And the plants were on his property. I planted them for him because there were only weeds and naked soil in his front yard. Now, we have naked soil again...
And the idea to cart organic material to the landfill when it could become compost... If I wouldn't be overwhelmed right now with my own stuff, I totally would have taken it. But my husband would have lost his mind if I started another project - I probably as well. On second thought, that might already have happened 🤪
I would build a living wall between him and myself if i were you ...looking at that mess would depress me to much <3 just drown him out with green :)
Am on it LOL
Wow! NO wonder you were a bit down, @mariannewest. Tough day with several disappointments. The geraniums being pulled out probably broke your heart too.
So sorry about that neighbor... maybe he'll wake up one day, maybe not. But that person and family if there is one, is enjoying a more healthy environment just living near to you.
Hope you got some good sleep and are feeling better to tackle whatever's on your plate today. I'll pray you get some resolution for the water so the supplemental system will be in place.
MOST of all, sending you HUGE Hugzzzz and Thanks for sharing your down days with us. You have a huge heart and I LOVE how you keep it real and let us in to your world. Bless you, girl chile. xxx
Thank you so much!!!
Reading all the beautiful comments really is making me happy - even though I am crying as I am reading them 😜
Thank you for your hugs. I am feeling them!! And yes, a good nights sleep makes a huge difference>
Hugs back to you!
Ahhh I feel these feelings! What is the point of unrolling and straightening 200m of hose for hours if the neighbor is just going to set his horse free to stomp all over the garden!!!
But after a bit of depression, the answer always is that the progress we make is not always physical, but also social, emotional and spiritual. Even set-backs have a way of helping us make progress.
Lots of Love from around the world!
Thank you!! Feeling you love and I know that you know...
There are days where I feel so out of the mainstream and feel a bit lonely. I am sure you know what I am talking about. Time to connect with my tribe 😀
And yes, every experience helps us grow :)
Oh my goodness...I hear ya about feeling like a failure. I had that just the other day, and it's got to be one of my least favorite out of all the negative things you can feel. But like you said, it was for today, and tomorrow you will feel better! I think, because we don't like to feel bad, we forget how important hard days are. Tomorrow you'll be a little stronger than you were yesterday!
So, I hope you get your irrigation sorted out. I know how important that is. But if you keep trying everyday, that is all you can ask of yourself. Then one day you'll back and see how far you've come!
Aso, it breaks my heart that the geraniums are gone too. It's so hard watching others mame choices that we know aren't right. Well, atleast different than what we would have chosen. I think it's always important to remember that we never know the full picture. This allows me to live with much more grace for the people around me.
Hope you wake up refreshed for a new day! Because it is brand new, and full of possibilities! 😙
P.S. I'm not sure if you've seen yet...but the hubs and I are apart of an amazing new community called the Global Homestead Collective! @ghscollective We have a discord set up too! I would love for you to come! https://discord.gg/KCYH4JX
Thank you so much!! And you are right. Everyone lives in their own reality. He needed a place to park that old truck :)
It is all good and today is another day.
I will check out the collective and join the discord. But I am not a huge discord user. I try to show up ever so often, but - as you know - there is only so much time in the day 😄
Haha well, thank you for trying!!