RE: Eine stumme Lüge - Terrible lie or powerful truth challenge by freedomtribe
What a terrible burden for you. Of course you had nothing to do with your brother's illness. In all likelihood, you were one of the few allies he could rely on in childhood, one of the few safe places he could check in without anxiety.
Children feel responsible for events that are completely out of their control. You did not make your father choleric. A spilled thermos is not a disaster, but a furious out-of-proportion punishment is a disaster. It is a disaster for a child to constantly fear that such punishment awaits even for trivial offenses. This cloud a child lives under helps to shape worldview.
I speak from experience. I had a 'choleric' father...that is a euphemism. He was horrible. I lived in fear of him. We all did. This certainly contributed to an inordinate cautiousness I evince even today. Of course, having such an unreasonable parent also led me to question authority. For that I am grateful :)
Let yourself off the hook, dear kadna. Your father caused you to tell that minor untruth. Fear of punishment was so great that you were paralyzed into silence.
I hope your brother has weathered his trials well over the years.
Something we share (with a lot of people!): intemperate fathers.
That is the running point. And btw we learn to look at ourselves to blame at first. That doesn't make sence... Best wishes LGG
Thanks for your thoughtful comment, @gaich. My biggest regrets have to do with my own children. As I grow older, what was done to me matters less than what I have done.
I realize my mistakes as a parent, made from impatience or ignorance.
But I wasn't horrible--just human :)
Have a great day.
Ofcourse you're human!
We all make mistakes. We have the choice to learn and change or to stay in the status quo. But there is no guilt. We all act in the way that mirrors our "being" at that point. You weren't able to act in a different way with your children. Today maybe you would have reacted differently if the same situation occurs. LGG
It's really nice to know you on Steemit :) What a positive voice
Thank you so much! Same to you. I like Steem for giving this chance to find peaceful people across borders to connect with heart. Our world needs that.
Hi @agmoore, Thank you for your "long" answer! Meanwhile i have a nice relationship with my father. Getting old sometimes make people wise. ;-) My brother needs some years to find his way. Now he has a family, two boys and a nice wife. We are not very close together and that is ok. I am not suffering on this silent lie, I understand my situation and it is ok. Maybe this event leads me to my profession.working with children? As you described there is always something good in it ;-) Questioning authority, education, the dance of life what is a human being... ? Own experiences are so valuable!
Thank you for reading and commenting! I like your words and thoughts! Kadna
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I'm so happy to hear that the relationship between you and your father has matured, and that your brother has a full life. Perhaps I saw in your piece a little too much of my experience.
Yes...look how we turned out. Take the best from the past and leave the worst bits behind. Life is to be enjoyed.
Have the best day. I'm off to lunch with two writer friends. And then, back to writing.
Your friend, on Steemit and otherwise,
AG
Maybe... But... i stopped writing at that point 50 years ago, so the emotions seems to be there right now ;-) But life goes on and - as you said - "is to be enjoyed"! Thank you so much for your friendship! From the first moment "reading" you i feel a special joy. (I hope you know what i mean.) It is a strange thing not knowing one another in real life, but i've found some steemians who are very "nice". You are one of them. Thank you! Greetings Kadna
Sometimes real life gets in the way. And thank you!!
I'm off to make another silly collage...will I never grow up?😄
'See you' soon, friend.
AG, from across the sea
We all need this "childish" part in our soul! We all have it, but most people forgot about it! So, you and i can show others a way to bring this inner child to life. 😉 I hope you will never grow up haha. Kadna
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