Living Life Moment By Moment

I love the power of a good conversation because it always leaves me with a new perspective or a pearl of wisdom that I hadn’t thought of before.

I dropped into the PAL Discord chat this morning and found a wonderful woman that is struggling with her depression at the moment.

We had never conversed before today but she told me of her troubles and her struggles like we were old friends.

That’s the power of Discord and of a good conversation!

Photo by Greg Raines on Unsplash

A Pearl of Wisdom

Something that this woman said to me has been on my mind ever since, I can’t stop thinking about it.

She told us in the chat that she chooses to live moment by moment because that helps her to survive without feeling the need to end her life.

If this scares you for her, it isn’t meant to. I can relate to where she is coming from because I live with daily suicidal thoughts too.

I was inspired by what she said because I have always lived my life day by day and sometimes struggle with that.

The beauty of life is that we have a life made up of moments. How blessed are we?

A Lesson Learned

I used to look at depression as something that defined my entire life, a ball and chain that I toted around. No one could see that ball and chain but me.

I felt separated from those around me as if an ocean divided me from them.

They couldn’t possibly understand how alone and isolated I felt, could they?

I was embarrassed by how I felt so I never reached out to anyone and just suffered in silence.

What I have learned is that having depression has helped me to recognize so much more about myself than I did before.

And I have learned to love and appreciate myself more than I ever thought possible.

The awareness that I have now is unlike anything that I could have ever dreamed possible.

Photo by Tiago Bandeira on Unsplash

Do I still have depression?

Oh, hell yes, I do!

Do I still have days where I can’t force myself to shower or even get out of bed?

You betcha!

But, the difference is that now I accept that I will have those days and I am prepared for them mentally and physically.

Preparing for the Rough Patches

I know that I will have days where I will wake up crying and feel like I want to die but not understand why.

I know that some days I will fall apart at the drop of a hat without having a reason.

And I know that I can get through it as I have every single day for the past twelve years.

Let me tell you how I have prepared:

I have reframed the way that I look at it, first of all.

I look at my bad days as a way to show compassion for myself and to take a mental health day to rest and recharge.

I have a fridge in my room with feel good snacks in it but only enough for one day. If I kept more than one day of snacks in there then I may stay in bed longer than I need to.

I have structured my life in such a way that I don’t have to answer to a boss necessarily.

I freelance write for a living and work from home.

If I need a day off then I take a day off because I have enough posts in my queue that I can skip a day if needed.

I have my support network on speed dial if I need someone to talk to and they listen to me without judging me. That alone is worth all the riches in the world to me.

This self-awareness has taken me years to find and so much anguish that I can’t even begin to describe it. When I started on this journey, I hated myself and everything that I had become.

I was a scared girl inside that loathed every single thing about myself and about my life.

And I trust myself now to make decisions for myself and for my own well being.

I am grateful to that woman for her words and her kindness in sharing her story with those of us in the Discord chat at the time. I have not mentioned her name out of respect for her and her privacy but I pray that she reads this and feels the positive vibes that I am sending her!

I would love to hear your thoughts and how you choose to cope with depression. And feel free to share inspiring messages for others in the comments if you would like to do so.

Ivy

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