There is no need to feel guilty about doing what you want

It seems rather intuitive that we must have some level of freedom when we speak about it so much in our culture and in our politics. Obviously, there are certain restrictions that are imposed upon our freedom, some arguably for the better while others not so much. Whether we agree with all the rules that are imposed on us or not, freedom fundamentally starts with our own relationship with ourselves.

Taking a break from poorly photographed pineapples and strange artwork to give you some cheesy pexels photos,

Whether we have freedom or not will depend on a large degree on whether or not we listen to our bodies and our inner guidance. When you are tired do you sleep? When you are hungry do you eat? When you have to take a shit but you are late for work what do you do? When you are stressed and want to drop what you are doing, do you say “screw this, I bit off more than I could chew with this project” or do you say “I need to suck it up”. When your partner demands more than you are willing to give do try to convince them that you will change when you really don’t want to prevent them from leaving, or do you insist on who you are? When a friend pressures you to do something you really don’t want to do, do you do it?

True freedom comes from being able to follow our desires and always prioritize our own happiness, not because we don’t care about others, but because we will be able to do much more for others when we are fulfilling our own desires. It is respectful of all individuals, but none at the expense of others. That means it will allow you to respect others without sacrificing respect for yourself.

This is not to say that compromise is a bad thing, compromise is a necessary part of building relationships and forging trust in order to create a harmonious environment. Sometimes others dissatisfaction with our behavior can also teach us a great deal about how to interact more peacefully. Our relationships will reflect our ability to balance our desires with the desires of others and to find ways in which they don’t conflict. They don’t have to conflict. Compromise can help us to grow together, but it’s important to choose well what we are willing to compromise and to come to the compromise willingly. It’s foolish to try to compromise something that we are really resentful about compromising.

Freedom doesn’t mean doing whatever you want “whenever the hell you want”, but it does mean doing whatever you want whenever you REALLY want. It’s essential to make this distinction. Do you REALLY want it? Does your desire to speak or act come from what you really want in life, from the version of yourself that you most want to be, from your most ideal vision and not dependent on outside circumstances? Or is it fear of things not going as you desire that leads you to speak and act as you do? Are you running towards what you do want or running away from what you don’t want? This is extremely important. The ego’s version of freedom will often be imposing on others and be fear based, often unwittingly, while your the deep desires of your truest self will never be so abrasive and never directly impose on others.