Even Crypto Relationships Require a Lot of Freaking Work

in cryptocurrencies •  5 months ago

I'm no relationship counselor, but if I was, I'd tell #Coinbase to take time out for the family, Ripple to quit cheating on his mistress, Ethereum to stop blaming everyone else for her problems, and Binance to quit threatening divorce over every little petty grievance. It's probably a good thing I'm not a relationship counselor.

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Romance is hard.

Actually, the romance is the easy part. The hard part is putting up with all the silly little crap your lover puts you through after you've made it perfectly clear you're not ready to commit. In the real world, you could end up with a protection order. In the crypto world, it's not any easier, but the pitfalls are harder to see. Just ask today's recipients of unexpected headlines.

Let's start with Coinbase, the crypto exchange everyone loves to love. They're going to build their own market surveillance system, because when it comes to love, everyone should have a digital private detective in their back pocket.

#Ripple is one of those fellows that just likes to live dangerously. If you tell him, don't take any wooden nickels, he'll take two. If you say, "Keep it clean," he won't take a bath for a week. That's why he is now on his third lawsuit for securities violations. Now, just so we're clear, I'm not saying he's guilty. But he's sure got a nice collection of Dear John letters going on.

The #Ethereum network got clogged. But no one called the plumber. Instead, they just blamed it on the neighbor, some Chinese dude named FCoin. We've really got to talk to people about names for their children.

Binance suspended services after an irregular trading risk alert. I don't know why you'd suspend anything. Just take a laxative. But you have to be careful because, these days, someone is likely to lace that shit with something explosive. My grandfather used to take a daily constitutional then spend three hours in the bathroom. Those were the good ol' days.

In India, the highest court in the land is on board with banning cryptocurrencies. And there's one more relationship on the rocks.

Crypto Analysis

Like I said, I'm no relationship counselor, and a lot of people are glad for that. These three crypto exchanges and their tokens are doing just fine, so counseling isn't necessary. But they're all essentially within their first year of marriage too, so they're still practically in the suite with a champagne bottle stuck where it doesn't belong.

Who doesn't like to talk about Bitcoin? Whether you've got good things to say or bad things, leaning over the fence and destroying the neighbor's reputation is a great American past time. In this case, Bitcoin is looking to hit $7,000, and just about everybody in town is saying it could happen.

If it doesn't happen, I might need counseling. But it's a sobering thought to know that there are only two cryptocurrencies that are in a gaining position this year--and, no, Bitcoin isn't one of them.

Ever wonder what the largest 15 ICOs are? Well, read this and you'll be able to sleep tonight.

And just in case European countries start channeling India or begin to channel other Asian countries like China and Japan, the European Parliament published a report to warn them not to ban cryptocurrencies. Those Europeans sure sap the fun out of things. I guess gothic cathedrals are out too, huh?

So that ends my report for today. If you think somone gave me a marriage proposal or suggested other favors just to be listed among the few, the brave, and the psychotic, think again. I offer those privileges for free because I'm the #editor of Blockchain Times where you can read a lot more fine crypto news just like this.

#BlockchainTimes #crypto-news #crypto-analysis

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Actually this post is too good loved it man means you just described cryptos as family members each with a different issue crazy right too funny.


Thanks. Now lock Mom in the closet! :-)

What do you mean, you're no relationship counsellor? You might well be our very own Dr. Phil :-) What an interesting write-up - You kept my interest (even though I seldom pay attention to anything crypto).


Thanks. Now, lie on my sofa and tell me all your deepest, darkest secrets. ;-)


LOL If you have any stories to tell about steem, crypto, the war ;-) or you don't mind reading one of your poems, why not join in the fun at 10PM (UTC) Friday? I have no doubt the community would appreciate!

Have a swell weekend otherwise, Sir.


That does sound like fun. Unfortunately, I'm entertaining guests tonight. Maybe another time.

i liked the tone you had writing this. It was easy and funny to read, and I still felt like I got a good gyst of what's going on in the crypto world.


Thanks. It was fun to write too. :-)