Easy Contest !!......Tell Me A Joke And Win 10 SBD!!! :{)
For anyone who doesn't know what a joke is....:{)
A joke is a short humorous piece of oral literature in which the funniness culminates in the final sentence, called the punchline… In fact, the main condition is that the tension should reach its highest level at the very end. No continuation relieving the tension should be added. As for its being "oral," it is true that jokes may appear printed, but when further transferred, there is no obligation to reproduce the text verbatim, as in the case of poetry.[1]
very nice :) follow me and upvote my posts i'll do same :)
No thank you @sam43 but thank you for the offer.
Have a great day!
A couple of Tennessee boys was talkin'
One sez to the other.
"Ya know man, I need ta find me a woman, I'm just not sure where to start."
"What ya looking fer in a woman?"
"Well first off she's gotta be level headed, don't want no purty crazy one."
"Well shoot mayne, that's easy! You'll know her as soon as you see her!
"How so?"
She'll have tobacco juice runnin' down both sides of her mouth ya dummy!*
Nice try but no cigar I'm afraid! :)
You'll have to do better than that to win the 10 SBD prize. :)
Why was the ocean sad?
.
.
.
Because the sea weed (≧∇≦)/
Haha. I liked that one!
Remember you can enter as many times as you like @utfull so feel free to come back over and give us another laugh to increase your chances of winning..
A Horse walks into a Bar and the Bartender says "Hey, why the LONG Face ?"
Up Voted, Resteemed and Followed.
:) classic @stokjockey.
Thanks for the upvote, resteem and follow. I've just become your 300th follower! :)
Congratulations! :)
Thank You Tonyr for being #300. Now I am going to have to make one of those I just crossed over 300 Followers posts today................
I did one when I got to 200. I think its a good way of showing your followers that you are thankful for their support and I used mine to say thank you to some of the people I follow as well.
Have fun with it! ;)
Look forward to seeing it in my feed later then! :)
And the horse replies, "because my wife just killed herself."
Less replying morbidly to your brother's posts, more making posts of your own! lol!
What are you on about, woman? What morbid response?? What brother???
Listen here, this is a joke post, joke posts are supposed to bomb and not be funny at all, so stop making me laugh it's contrary!!
A guy meets a prostitute in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my….house.’
That one got an actual laugh out loud!!
I once had an exchange with a prostitute at Kings Cross Station. She asked me if I wanted business but I said ''I've only got 50p.'' To my surprise she said ''That's OK. I've got change!'' :)
Your definitely looking good for the prize so far!! :)
Right, last prostitute joke before people start thinking "he knows way to many prostitute jokes"
Panda And A Prostitute
A panda spent the night in bed with a prostitute. The following morning as he is about ready to leave, the prostitute yells after him, "Hey, aren't you going to pay me?"
The panda appears confused, so she throws a dictionary at him and tells him to look up 'prostitute.'
The definition reads: 'A woman who engages in promiscuous sexual activity for pay. '
The panda throws the dictionary back at the prostitute and tells her to look up 'panda.'
The definition reads: 'An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves.'
By the way I'm not here for the money, just here for a laugh and to show some support,
Would much rather see someone with a lot less SP to win, as long as their funny of course. :)
That's really good of you @markwhittam but not at all surprising! :)
Unfortunately, I also know too many prostitute jokes and have heard that one before I'm afraid but it is a classic and I did get a wee chuckle due to the fond memories I have from the first time I heard it. :)
I'm off to bed now buddy! Thanks for the laughs and look forward to your next post!
Did you hear about the thoughtful Scotsman who was heading out to the pub? He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, ‘Jackie – put your hat and coat on lassie.’
She replied, ‘Awe Iain that’s nice – are you taking me to the pub with you?’
‘Nah, I’m just switching the central heating off while I’m out.’
??????? What does that mean? Sorry, I am a bit slow! :{)
That's not what I wrote, wait there I'll try again
Now that's much funnier than the original message you sent me. :) And not at all offensive to a Scotsman (since it's actually a known, scientifically proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt fact! :))
You're in with a chance @markwhittam! :)
Thanks again for that lovely post earlier today! Hope you are all enjoying a lovely evening wherever you are. :)
Haha thanks buddy, no idea what happened there.
Yeah I'm standing in warehouse waiting to load my truck, writing jokes to past the time :)
Tony the Tiger loves jokes because they're great, steamy like Steemit, and great, like very great like Frosted Flakes. I love jokes. I'm Putin this on my list of things to do. I'm going to Trump this Merkel (Contest). Don't Pence until we all laugh at the end. Dear readers, good luck. Tell jokes. Blond jokes are great. A blond was stuck in a car in a river. But the car was a convertible car with no roof. She tried to open the door. So sad. Kind of funny. Evil Barney is funny. Political Satire is sometimes funny. Pop culture references are funny. Sarcasm is funny when Simon Cowell of American Idol does it. Your momma so fat, she got stuck in the store. Your momma was so dumb, she then starved to death in that food store. Fat jokes can be funny. Data of Star Trek always wondered what jokes was. Data was a robot android. I like Tim Allen. He is funny. I am not sure if I am funny or not. I once had a rat named Oreo. I tell stories about my life sometimes. I do not mean to make people laugh but they do sometimes. Upvoted. Resteemed.
You sound like a very 'funny' guy to me @joeyarnoldvn. :)
Thanks for the joke buddy. will get back to you when the post closes if you are the winner!
You can enter as many times as you like so feel free to come back and try again. :)
Baby corn ask momma corn....where's pop corn? 🤗
Like this one...lol good one
🤗
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
This ridiculous joke pulled an actual and very unattracitve giggle snort from me LOL
:)