Quest In The Realms – an interactive Bananafish production! - Episode 37
Look who’s there, a wandering adventurer looking for the Bananafish treasure! This episode is part of the interactive story/treasure hunt called “Quest In The Realms”. If you landed on this page because you’re trying to solve the mystery, don’t hesitate and keep delving in the story. If you came here through random loitering, what are you waiting for!?
- This is how you can win 30 STEEM, 30 @steembasicincome shares, and 10 @Steemmonsters Beta Booster Packs.
Tres strips down to the waist, and your bandmates follow suit. You do the same. If you can blend in with Baphomets and wriggle your way through the crowd, you just might stand a chance!
You and the Tortillas make it to the edge of the crowd, and the Baphomets gladly welcome you into their orgiastic shenanigans. Oddy has no idea where you are. Everything is working perfectly.
Suddenly, you’re hit over the head with one of those floppy four-pronged double-duck penises. You trip and fall into the crowd. Undeterred, you and the band crawl your way across the metal grate floor, but you’d prefer not to dwell on the acts you have to commit to keep blending in.
Near the far end, as you’re about to make it safely out of the volcano, a group of particularly aroused female (Maybe? You decide that ascribing sex and gender to these creatures seems a little off the mark) Baphomets seem suddenly very interested in Tio. Yonic phalluses erupt from their bodies. Your brain has no schema to make sense of what you’re seeing, but it’s certainly...something.
Figuring that you’ve been in worse scrapes, you take a deep breath and look for an escape. Tres, however, didn’t read the sign from before (and you forgot about it). He pokes a Baphomet.
The creatures become wildly aroused by all the band members. There’s nothing left for you to do now but dive into the action. The yonic phallus Baphomets seem elated at your eagerness, but you soon learn that human physiology and Baphomet physiology are quite different, incompatible really. The bats, balls, and gloves just don’t quite match up right. It’s like one of you is playing cricket, but the other is doing accounting.
You also learn that the Baphomets speak a tonal language, with sixteen different tones, but you can only hear and reproduce three of them. The word banana is a great example, and it really illustrates the unfathomable nature of Baphomet psychology. Pronounced in one tone, banana is the Baphomet safe word for their sexual escapades; in another tone, it roughly translates into faster, harder! (A third tone, incidentally, just translates into banana, the fruit, but that’s a purely random coincidence, and figuring out how that happened would take a mind more sophisticated than a Baphomet’s).
Baphomets, with their confusing language and their general ignorance of human conceptions of sexual consent, deliver an important lesson to you and the Tortillas about the necessity of never screwing non-human entities (no matter how tempting, Tres!).
Unfortunately, you can’t apply this lesson because you do not survive the experience.