Joke contest nr.5 - Make us laugh => win some SBD

in #contest4 years ago (edited)

MEME2017-08-03-08-15-57.jpg

Joke contest nr.4 was won by @remic2005. Congratulations! Now it's time for joke contest nr.5


First the prize......since I'm still a minnow (look at my wallet) and didn't receive any presents or donations toward the prize-money:

After 7 days this post will generate author-awards: 50% Steemdollars and 50% Steempower. I will transfer all Steemdollars that are generated as author awards to the winner of the contest after pay-out. The more upvotes, the bigger the prize!!!
The generated Steempower is mine. I need it to increase my upvote, so I can help my fellow-minnows👍.

If there are people willing to sponsor this, or any of my following contests by donating prize-money please let me know in the comments. Comedy should be rewarded!

Now for the rules:

1.Upvote this post.
2.Tell your best joke in the comments below.
3.Only one entry per person
4.Your joke in Dutch or English only

Resteeming is allowed of course, I mean: who doesn't like a good joke?
Besides, resteeming will probably increase the prize-money😉.

Peace and love!

Sort:  

Teacher : "What's your Mom's name?"

4 yr old kid : "Mom's last name must be Darling because that's what Daddy calls her every time...."

Teacher : "That's so sweet. What's her first name then?"

4 yr old kid: "I think it's Sorry...."

DEDICATED TO ALL MARRIED MEN

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house ?

Of course, a house doesn't jump at all :p

What did the Cheese say while looking at the Mirror?

"Haloumi!"

:)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloumi

A man walks into a bar, then a table and then a chair.

Ok so i'll be the second one to comment :D

I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places, and he told me to stop going to those places! :D

Must be very violent places! 🤣

Aha sure they are! :p

Thanks :)
Aha i'll try ;)

Two men walk into bar, the third one ducks.

Also nice....but only one entry per person @dirtyharry30. Save your jokes for the next contest👍

What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?
.
.
A dead centipede.

De mop van de blinde drummer. Die sloeg nergens op. (in het engels is die minder grappig)

Goeie man😂😂👍. Hij vertaalt inderdaad niet zo lekker @loonatic.

I just made this one up in a hurry so sorry if it is kind of cheesy.

Some silverware were having a get-together and began to debate about plastic vs silver cutlery. Then, spoon made an off topic comment.

Fork replied, "Well, Spoon, maybe you should be quiet because it doesn't look like you have a point!". Even knife thought that remark was a bit cutting.

Nice one🤣. Cheesy but just in time. Thanks!

I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

Uhm.....this joke was already posted by @remic2005. Not original.....

How about you @mlsivaganesh? Do you have one for us?

Nice gif....but do you also have a joke for us @auntigormint?