Punday Monday 44! Come for the prizes stay for the laughs!
Happy Punday!
Fewer than 42, but more than 0 puns about the number 42!
https://steemit.com/contest/@improv/punday-monday-43-join-for-prizes-and-fun-free-upvotes-for-everyone-who-makes-an-effort
You want to make puns, too, but you don't know how???
Learn how here: https://steemit.com/contest/@improv/puns-and-prizes-learn-to-pun-easy-fun-anybody-can-be-a-hit-at-parties
PRIZES, YOU SAID!
Pocket Friday, which celebrates your favorites from Punday Monday was here:
https://steemit.com/pocket/@improv/pocket-friday-for-punday-monday-43-one-more-than-42
But no pocket was awarded... I guess it was an off week?
The folks in the POCKET Choice winner's circle are @miniature-tiger, @lilygolightly, @chrisroberts, @stinawog, @f3nix, @doctorcrypto, @heroic15397, @littlescribe, @diebitch, @acolucky, @ablaze, and @paul.atreides.
Best video pun
Remains unclaimed for many weeks running so instead we'll award best pun from last week's winner to @acolucky!
Best new punster
...no one new punned this week!
Best overall pun
What are the prizes?!?
Well everyone who posts a pun on topic gets a full powered upvote from me, and every winner ALSO gets a full powered upvote from me plus a @tipu tip on a post of their choosing!
This week's topic is...!
As in, why did the dry-mouthed boxer always lose his matches against the postage? Because he couldn't lick it!
If she wants to dot her eyes and cross her tees. Letter do it.
My girl. She doesn't e-mail or call. But when she wants in, I Letter.
Excellent! :o)
HAAAAAAAAAA
Unearned, but appreciated. I'll try to make up for it this week by advertising this contest. Here is a post for your approval. Thank you.
https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@acolucky/comedy-open-mic-round-10-entry-1
Is there a "this is how to enter" and a "these are the guidelines for eligibility" post for that? I like following instructions.
https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@comedyopenmic/comedy-open-mic-round-10
Just to be clear, I meant I will advertise your pun contest. But I am very involved with the comedy contest as well.
I understood! Thanks!
You know it's time to write a "Dear John" letter and move on... when everything feels stationery.
Ha ha, very clever :o)
Oh my GOODNESS, YES. A masterclass in puns.
The lads were having a mad party again, C, R, A, Z and Y were in the middle of it as usual..
There was a knock on the door from a disgruntled neighbour who asked, "can I have a word"
Out walked F, U, C, K and O, F and his identical twin.
"There's two words for you...." and they shut the door laughing..
ahah very funny! I like it.
Yay for letter jokes!
After decades of inviting, pleading, cajoling, the Lord finally accepted the Devil's invitation to come to Vegas and see the playground Satan had built. Satan was beside himself, this was a shot at forging an alliance he had been working toward since he chatted with Christ in the desert. Punk kid, who needs Him? The Big Guy was coming to town!! All of Satans minions were given orders to really roll out the red carpet, this was the MOST honored guest ever to hit the casinos.
At last the big day arrived, and God Himself strolled up to the blackjack table. The dealer gave them each a face down card, then a face up one. The Almighty took a peek at his hidden card. He pushed a few chips toward the center of the table and said "I'll hold."
Lights began to flash, sirens began to scream, ladies began to faint and grown men began to weep. An announcement came over the PA system letting everyone in Las Vegas know, the Alpha Bet had been made.
Bada BING, you been punned!
See, it is funny because God refers to Himself as "The Alpha and the Omega" and "alpha" also means "first" or "highest" PLUS it is the actual start of the list of letters we call the "alphabet." So when God walks into a casino (which is a pretty funny premise on its own) you think He would be there to do a little Sodom and Gomorrah number on them but no. He strolled to a table and placed the first bet by the highest deity...
🙄
No, it is OK, you don't really have to laugh at puns, you can roll your eyes and groan in appreciation too!
You didn't have to explain the Alpha part. I totally got it. This was a great joke, and well written. I loved it!
P.S. I hope you don't mind, I'd like to read it at my upcoming show on Wednesday. I host a stream on steemstar.net and the audience chats from my discord channel here: https://discord.gg/eYqN8Yy
Feel free to join us! Let me know if you'd like more details.
I would be honored to have you read it! And yeah, the thing with that contest is he says you have to explain why it is funny. Puns are not painful enough without explaining the obvious... lol! Will try to catch the show, I seem to be an expert at tuning in right after they are over...
Exactly! You got it! The funny is all in the T D M...
bada BING, you been PUNNED!
Get it? Because T D M sounds like tedium, and some people think joke explanations are tedious, (though not t.d.US, amirite?). And even though joke explanations are the funniest part of the joke, it's popular to say, "Oh, yeah, I LOOOve it when people explain jokes" all sarcastic-like, it's true, they really do love it. Because then they get to say that, and that makes them feel good, and jokes are all about giving people the opportunity to feel good. Also, T, D, and M are all letters in the alphabet.
Lol! You are a goofball!
:P
Got it. Well, that makes sense to explain it, what with all of the possible language barriers going on and so forth.
Here's the details on the show today: https://steemit.com/steemstar/@littlescribe/sociopaths-puns-and-manbeards-littlescribe-streaming-live-8-pm-utc-1-pm-cst-wednesday
Thanks for the link and heads up!
Thanks for joining us yesterday! It was great having you on board. Hope to see you again next week! It should be pretty fun. We'll have a guest host this time. I think you'll love her.
Thanks - I will try to catch it when I get back in town. We are going to be on the road for most of May, I have been scrambling like mad to get ready lol! It was fun "meeting" you and I will be back when I am back!
A lot of thinking went into that one!! Very good @fishyculture
Alpha bet Brilliant...
Thanks! It is lovely when my silliness amuses more people than just myself lol!
HA! I love a good shaggy dog story, especially when it involves the friendship and admiration of two who often lack empathy! Almost as good as puppies snuggling with kittens!
Thanks! Glad you liked it lol!
Ah great stuff, delighted with the win, I will also resteem this like @acolucky and hopefully we will get more contestants next week.. The post I nominate is https://steemit.com/art/@ablaze/the-power-and-beauty-of-the-sea-turning-litter-into-art Thanks a million!!
I decided to turn a few puns from above, into one big one. So, here it is.
Your girl wants to meet up at the P.A.R.T.Y house. She never emails or calls about accepting the invites.
One of the guests argues about her doing that, showing up without a R.S.V.P.
Not wanting to start a war with her, you both look at her with annoyance. Then you throw your hands up and say to the group, "F.U.C.K. and I.T, just letter go."
Very good :o)
Lol, thank you :) Sorry I stole your part. It sure worked out good though, lol. :)
Haha, not a bother, great how much you worked into this one 👍
Ha! An amalgam!
(somewhere in anEnglish garden)
Nice one!
In the meantime, rather than Tea, we'll have coffee!
Letters!
Letter huh?
I gotta admit that the's usually some funny puns here but some of the entries this week are really pushing the envelope, Punmaster you need to stamp this out, stay anonmous though, use a penname or they'll flag your post-man!
Serious apologies for that literary caphony of nonsensical ramblings, thanks for the tag, it's hard to keep track of everything you enjoy as your followers grow.
Hope my entry is deemed ...
"first-class"
Knocking it out of the park there @stevenwood Nice one brother!