OH HECK. Don't read this if you don't want to hyperventilate. Punday Monday 82 Comedy Open Mic 44

in #contest5 years ago (edited)

Welcome to Punday Monday!

puntender.jpg

New To Punday?

Pull up a stool, order a spiked PUNch, and get to know some of the regulars. I'm your PUNtender, @improv.

How To Make a Pun

This contest is open to everyone. Here's a handy dandy guide on how to make a pun: Learn to Pun

Rules for the PUN-test:

  • If you hope to win a prize, your pun must be your original work
  • Puns must be relevant to the topic of the week to win a prize, but they can be very loosely related.

Last Week's Punday Monday:

Here is last week's Punday Monday, and all the puns that were eligible to win this week are in the comments!

Hang on to your PUNderwear. The Winners of This Week's PUNday Monday Are...


(GIF by @littlescribe)

Rookie of the Week:

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It’s not an original pun, so @aloha-creations can’t win a bonus SBI prize, but she will still get a participation SBI!

Pocket Choice Awards:

Every Friday, I put up a post to solicit audience favorites! They can vote on their favorites by sending POCKET to whomever they want to win. This week’s post is here:
https://steemit.com/pocket/@improv/3j5e3g-pocket-friday

Ooo! @acolucky sure is lucky!
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  • POCKET Choice Winner's Circle Season One:

@aloha-creations, @professorbromide, @tcpolymath, @miniature-tiger, @lilygolightly, @chrisroberts, @stinawog, @f3nix, @doctorcrypto, @heroic15397, @littlescribe, @diebitch, @acolucky, @ablaze, and @paul.atreides.

  • POCKET Choice Winners' Circle Season Two:

@ablaze, @coinsandchains, @dollarsandsense, @doctorcrypto, @heroic15397, @littlescribe, @jk6276, @acolucky, @deceth

Grand Prize (which isn’t bigger than the other prizes, just grander):

  • Best Pun

  • Best Pun of the Entire Week

  • Best Overall Pun

DRUMROLL PLEASE.....

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@jk6276!
You made me giggle!

And What Prizes Do They Win, You Ask?

  • Full Strength, 100% Upvote!

Why, as usual, all the punsters got full strength upvotes on their submissions from @improv. This week they also got votes from @freewritehouse! They will next week, too! Together, these upvotes could total in excess of five whole cents!

  • SBI

Which are little bitty upvotes on all your content forever. See @steembasicincome for details. I’ll send one to all of our qualified entrants this week!
All our entrants were:
@doctorcrypto, @acolucky, @stever82, @aloha-creations, @jk6276, @paul.atreides

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All of our winners get bonus prize SBI for winning!
Congrats, @acolucky and @jk6276

  • @tipu Tip + @improv 100% upvote to the post of your choice

Our category winners will each get to choose a post (of their own or someone else's) and I will give that post a fully powered upvote and a @tipu tip!

This Week's Pun Topic Is:

Zookeeper (because we went to the zoo and also because it was a suggestion at last nights CSz match, but I was reffing, so I didn't get to say mine.)

As in....
Don’t play cards with Jimmy the Zookeeper. He’s a cheetah!

Jimmy the Zookeeper was asking his girl, Gazelle, to run away with him, but she told him, "You wanna marry me, we're gonna do it right. I 'ant elope!"

Jimmy the Zookeeper tried to disguise himself as a lady, but the cops still got him. He couldn’t figure out how to wear ze bra!

Jimmy the Zookeeper is real skittish. I was with him on a heist and there was a little sound and he ran like the cops was after him. I was there, though. I saw it. It was a mere cat!

Oh my, there are so many! Have fun!

I'm So Good at Puns

If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in My Free How-To Guide on Punning!

@comedyopenmic nomination:

Who do I nominate for @comedyopenmic’s comedy challenge? I nominate the winners! This past week’s winners were:

@acolucky and @jk6276




Sponsors, related content, prizes, and money

Sponsors!

@improv/ @freewritehouse

I mean, am I a sponsor of my own contest? Yes? I guess? Also, because I’m involved in @freewritehouse and they’ve/we’ve hosted Punday Monday events over on that page, I’d like to suggest that they (we) are also a sponsor! Regardless, check out the @freewritehouse community! Furthermore, they/we’re using their SP to upvote your puns!

@curie!

We are one of Curie’s chosen communities! Prizes have doubled in season 2, thanks to @curie’s sponsorship! Curie curators do tremendous work making sure unrecognized authors of quality content get recognized and rewarded! They do great work sifting through the heaps of posts to find the undiscovered gems.

Related Content:

  • Punday Monday Year One-Day contest results HERE
  • @freewritehouse offers writing and word-smithing contests every week
  • @steembasicincome has a contest round-up (that includes us) where you can find more opportunities to win SBI.
  • @contestkings features our contest and MORE!

Outside referrals that benefit me.

Coinbase:

Cryptocurrency investment wallet Join HERE and we’ll both get $10 of BTC

  • Hot tip, I buy BTC on pro.coinbase.com, then send it to bittrex to trade for Steem and send steem to my wallet here. It’s the most efficient way with the fewest fees I’ve found. If you’ve found better, let me know. - I learned from someone else that buying LTC and sending it to bittrex then trading it for BTC then trading that for STEEM is the least-fees way. Can someone confirm?

Robinhood:

Investment platform buying/selling stocks Join HERE and we’ll both get a share of a stock (probably worth ~$4)

Earn.com:

Small tasks for small rewards. Need a business or .edu email, Join HERE and we’ll both get $1 of BTC

Mannabase:

Sign up for universal basic income distribution funded by cryptocurrency Join HERE

Swift:

Yet another attempt at a UBI Join HERE

Swell:

If you’re interested in more traditional investing, Swell invests in stocks that have a positive social impact according to their standards, and has a referral program whereby they’ll match your first $50 investment. CLICK HERE for company website.

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Hi improv,

Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)

Judges:

If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here

Click To Vote @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!
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Thank you to @matytan for the great banner

Jimmy the Zookeeper almost got fired for playing with the Zebras. His boss said, "No more HORSING around!"

@freewritehouse is upvoting puns! Come on by and join us for some other creative writing!

Jimmy the Zookeeper almost got fired for selling vape pipes to the Chimpanzees. His boss said, "No more MONKEY BUSINESS!"

Jimmy the Zookeeper used to always make up stuff, he was always Lion.
His friends got sick of his stories, it was more than they could Bear.

To get away from him, they all moved to the tiger.

I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore

@freewritehouse is upvoting puns! Come on by and join us for some other creative writing!

Did you hear about the New Orleans zoo keeper's idea?
He lets the animals run free.
He said, "It ain't right the way we been Cajun 'em."

Thanks again!
https://steemit.com/blog/@acolucky/why-we-move-to-the-countryside

I heard he got PEPPERED with complaints for that.

@freewritehouse is upvoting puns! Come on by and join us for some other creative writing!

Jimmy the Zookeeper almost got fired when he knocked down a hornet's nest and some visitors got stung. His boss said, "Next time, BEE careful!"

Jimmy the Zookeeper used to work at Sea World but he quit because there was something FISHY about how they were obtaining their killer whales.

Jimmy the Zookeeper is pretty pawsome he always gets my seal of approval, I mean he has the best koalafictions owl seen

@freewritehouse is upvoting puns! Come on by and join us for some other creative writing!

Jimmy the Zookeeper almost got fired when he refused to clean up the insect exhibit. He insisted that it ANT his job.

Jimmy the zookeeper almost got fired when his boss found him asleep in the marsupial house. He managed to talk his way out of it when he convinced his boss that he was just PLAYING POSSUM.

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