in contest •  last year  (edited)

The heights of the sky -- my visiting place
I travel both within and out of space
My wagon is hitched to the blazing stars
I’m booked for Peace-Treaty with Warlords of Mars…


I'll not contend with any merger wage
I'd rather streak to Venus for a positive change
Or any other planet I can set up a joint
The sky is too small to be my limiting point...


For solace I have quietly crave for a Place
On astral wings I travel, seeking for for solace in space
Hung in darkness hope blaze from the Stars
In the beauty of my fantasy terror lurk in Mars........

For warships, allies and mindless soldiers will I pay a Wage
In this final fantancy Countless warships awakens, hovering endlessly for Change
A universe on fire, nowhere to call a Joint
In the furnace of this fire enemies and friends will finally make their Points........



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Your "Battle Drop" is wonderful. I love it -- really! However, I noticed you did not fully observe the rhyme scheme of the flow which is, in my case: "place" & "space", then "stars" & "Mars" in the first stanza; and "wage" & "change", then " joint" & "point" in the second stanza.

I should disqualify you... But since your entry is the first to reach me, I'll offer you a redeeming chance to make amend. You have plenty of time (2 days for the first round) so I suggest you take your time to get your rhymes right...

Good luck!

Thanks i will go back to the drawing board

1st upvote -- 100%

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