MY ENTRY FOR "10 $TEEM GIVEAWAY, PLUS 10 100% UPVOTE$ TAGGED "BATTLESTAR-POETICA" POETRY CONTEST BY @IGWENTERTAINMENT"

in contest •  last year  (edited)

The heights of the sky -- my visiting place
I travel both within and out of space
My wagon is hitched to the blazing stars
I’m booked for Peace-Treaty with Warlords of Mars…

02_scarpaci.jpg
(Source: https://www.thesaurus-online.it)

I'll not contend with any merger wage
I'd rather streak to Venus for a positive change
Or any other planet I can set up a joint
The sky is too small to be my limiting point...

galaxy-wallpaper-hd-16.jpg
(Source: https://www.eskipaper.com)

For solace I have quietly crave for a Place
On astral wings I travel, seeking for for solace in space
Hung in darkness hope blaze from the Stars
In the beauty of my fantasy terror lurk in Mars........
Sluis_ggw.jpg
(Source:https://www.google.co.uk/)

For warships, allies and mindless soldiers will I pay a Wage
In this final fantancy Countless warships awakens, hovering endlessly for Change
A universe on fire, nowhere to call a Joint
In the furnace of this fire enemies and friends will finally make their Points........
()

(Source:https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=dying+star+image&client=ms-android-transsion&prmd=isvn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj94Zq3iqTcAhWESsAKHX3vBxsQ_AUIESgB&biw=360&bih=520#imgrc=6QgHiuBnVklZrM:)

(@delis)

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Your "Battle Drop" is wonderful. I love it -- really! However, I noticed you did not fully observe the rhyme scheme of the flow which is, in my case: "place" & "space", then "stars" & "Mars" in the first stanza; and "wage" & "change", then " joint" & "point" in the second stanza.

I should disqualify you... But since your entry is the first to reach me, I'll offer you a redeeming chance to make amend. You have plenty of time (2 days for the first round) so I suggest you take your time to get your rhymes right...

Good luck!

Thanks i will go back to the drawing board

1st upvote -- 100%

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