The Introverted Sailor Turns Host! Friends and Parents Coming In!
Man. I’m not really much of a “host,” kind of guy, I guess.
I love hanging out and shooting the shit, and really love showing people my city and the culture here in Japan. That said, the introvert in me can tire out pretty quickly.
That’s something I’m working on. Holding my own energy and not tiring out too quickly by trying to make “small talk,” appease everyone, or fill every second with activity. Quite often these perceived “expectations” of others are simply fabrications of my own mind.
The family and I are busy cleaning the house and getting everything ready. Our new house has ample space to host friends and family, and we’re excited to break it in.
This has also been a good kick in the ass for me to get a little more organized, whereas usually things around our place are a bit messy. Think: two just-starting-out entrepreneurs trying to start their own businesses, whilst fighting through episodic depression/mood swings, one highly energized 5-year-old in need of much attention, bills to pay, a garden to keep, etc, etc.
Perhaps that description makes things sound bleaker than they are. Not complaining at all. I’ve actually never felt happier, or freer, in my life. It’s all a journey. A process of self-discovery, and, most importantly, recognizing and integrating that Jungian “shadow,” to the end of a more joyful, fruitful, and peaceful existence.
What the hell does this have to do with hosting anyone. Well, nearly everything, I suppose. So often the thing that tires folks out about hosting others is the fact that they feel they cannot “be themselves.” I cannot go down that road this time around. It’s me, for better or for worse.
My friends that are coming are a seem to be a Trump supporter and a pretty liberal-oriented dude. I don’t really know yet, though. So yeah. My parents are both “conservative” Republicans. My mother is uncomfortable about coarse language. I swear like a sailor these days, and it does me good. It’s my little daily therapy. I am a full-blown Voluntaryist anarchist. We seem to have an interesting cocktail of elements brewing...
I imagine there will be some heated debates. That said, the whole reason I am looking forward to these unique and inimitable individuals coming to my home is because I love ‘em, and wish to share my energy and my power as I choose, and to connect on a human level. They’ve given me the priceless gift of being in my life as contemporaries on the journey. They care. Beyond any labels, this is what it is all about. This means something very important to me.
And of course I’m gonna set ‘em straight (through respectful discourse, of course) on all that statist bullshit.
We’ll see ;)
~KafkA
Graham Smith is a Voluntaryist activist, creator, and peaceful parent residing in Niigata City, Japan. Graham runs the "Voluntary Japan" online initiative with a presence here on Steem, as well as DLive and Twitter. (Hit me up so I can stop talking about myself in the third person!)
Sounds like you have an interesting time ahead of you. I understand the host thing, I also find it hard. And you're right, it's mostly because it impacts the freedom to be myself, which is, of course, self-imposed. I have gotten a little better at staying true to myself over the years (lucky we don't get too many visitors). You run the risk of offending people which can lead to embarrassing situations with those you know less well and to arguments with those you are close to (such as parents). I'm glad I can be completely myself with my own little fam (other half and kids). I can't imagine life any other way. Good luck!
Other half and your children are the best, right!? I know exactly what you mean.
Thanks for your kind and thoughtful words! You’ve described the situation very accurately. My friends just left today, and we had a really great time after all.
Oh, I'm glad to hear you could enjoy the time with your friends! I also have a challenging time ahead of me. My mother passed away on Sunday (see my latest post) and I'll be on my way to the home country tomorrow. Breathe, it will all be good. Lots to be grateful for as well. All the best to you and your family!
That's the most important part. People can't help but be themselves, but I do wish you the best of luck in de-brainwashing them :D
btw glad you seem to be out of harm's way, I read about some massive flooding going on in Japan.
Haha. Yep. That’s the view I’m trying to take, at least.
Thanks. Yeah, it’s pretty horrible down in the southwest. Over 150 people have died, according to the news. Really tragic.
:( shitty. Maybe a good opportunity to help people :)
Indeed. Great idea. I was considering what I might be able to do.
Whatever it is, let me know on Discord and I will do what I can to help.
Now, a fork in the road that I have been contemplating with increasing frequency lately...
It is great to love, of course. It is wonderful and appropriate to be kind and patient and understanding. And it demonstrates more accurately the love and respect for truth and humanity that's at the core of the anarchist position.
They are our family, they care for us. They are our friends, they make our lives fun and full. They would give us the shift off their back, or their last dime. We've known them so long, they are gentle and kind, and respectful and trustworthy. We love them, and they love us...
Or at least they think they do. These people - if we can even call them that, given that they do not exercise the very things that differentiate man from a brute beast, namely critical discernment, morality, and self-awareness - are destroying the world through their negligence. They are enslaving us and our children, not only by accident, but because they want something or fear something. They are doing this to us personally, and they know that they are because we've told them, and they won't do anything about it.
It's active ignorance, not passive, because they refuse to carry the conversation all the way to the core principles at play, despite our imploring them with ever fiber of our being. They are aggressors, whether they know it or not, and justice would see them dealt with like aggressors. They deserve no better, because they've been told, and they simply don't care - not about truth, not about you, not their own flesh and blood, or even themselves. Not when it comes to this. They can love only but so far; they won't give up the world they know, not for anyone.
Ahem... And so you see the dilemma. By rights, these people should not know a moment's peace until they desist; until they acknowledge, understand, and commit to morality. Aren't we enabling them? Would we laugh with these people if they tried to sleep with our wife, or stole our car, and were unabashedly unrepentant?
And yet, what they are doing is far worse, and we talk, talk, talk, but do nothing. What message does that send? We're saying "enslaving humanity is better than making a pass at my wife". And what's worse, we truly believe that, as our actions clearly demonstrate. Shall we not be known by our fruits? Does not what we are thunder so loudly in their ears that they cannot hear what we say?
This notion troubles me deeply. Something to think about in earnest.
I agree with you.
You can tell cult members time and time again that their guru isn't that great guy or that he isn't jesus, or that he has not met aliens, and conning the whole cult, even maybe making the cult commit suicide.........It won't help they will stay willfully ignorant. And it's frustrating ...some might change their mind, after a few weeks and some after years and yet others will never......and that you can not know that in front.
It is so strange to me how logic fails to persuade in so many cases. I think much of it has to do with the cultural conditioning. Profound thought and critical analysis is not valued highly. People do not inspire to have great minds, they aspire to have great abs. It's all about serving their insecurities. Everything is about this, really. What a deplorable, embarrassing state for such glorious beings. Fallen angels. Like if you ever saw the move Noah, how the angels became rock creatures, bound to the earth, weighed down and unable to fly.
Here's to the full-blown among us!
The funny thing about being yourself is that it's a big deal for you, but when you finally just let go and do it, you realize nobody else even cares. It's like dying your hair - do it or don't, they don't even seem to notice. Hahaha
Very true, man. Very true!
Thanks for resteeming my post man. I am 99 percent certain I'm moving to Japan in 2019 to teach English. How easy/hard is it to turn crypto into Yen?
Killer!!! It’s not very hard.
That is awesome. Be sure to let me know when you get here.
I’d love to hang/meetup!
Will be nice having friends staying over, no matter what. Make sure to have some fans ready to keep them ventilated 😅
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