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RE: Open Relationships & Polyamory // How I Realized I was Polyamorous pt. 1

in #community6 years ago

I admire you for opening up this conversation. Stirs me up! So much to say, and most importantly: I relate. I'm 6 years invested into my marriage, and my partner is my best friend in life, and we have three little kids, and... I'm terrified of losing them, and so there's a real fear when it comes to the prospect of separating, or opening our relationship, or even speaking about any desires for relationships. The thought of vocalizing my desire for another woman makes my heart race. I'm grateful to you for sharing, as your story is filled with hope, love, and lightness. Thanks, man.

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You're so welcome. Thank you for being so open about your situation and how reading this makes you feel. Means a lot to me. I have heard similar feelings expressed by other monogamous married people, I'm sure you know you're not alone in that.

Brooke and I have been talking about what it might look like if and when we do have kids to keep our relationship open, and it's pretty much assumed at this point that we would. Village-style family models appeal a lot to me, and I wish I had more contact with healthy living examples. As someone who has not become a parent yet, I know I have absolutely no clue what that will actually be like. Important topic, one I'll definitely write about in this series, as another source of inspiration was the book Sex at Dawn, where I read about cultures where monogamy and atomic family structures were not the norm.

Some friends are making a documentary about Tamera, a community in Portugal that has been around for 22 years and supports open relationships in the context of a broader loving community. Lots to read on their website too, if you like: https://www.tamera.org/index.html

@cabelindsay I posted two more pieces, this time about alternative family structures, both radically different from the man-woman-children nuclear unit. Here's one. And another.

Thanks for bringing these additional articles to my attention. Your material here is really opening my eyes (and heart) to new possibilities. Thank you again.

That makes me so happy to hear. You are very welcome.

While your situation is much different than mine, if you have questions that come up I would be happy to share what I can from my own experiences.

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