SHIT POST - COM 39 ROUND 2
Making the decision to own a puppy means having to deal with some shitty business. Puppies are way easier than babies as they eat and poop about 3 times a day. I got my miniature Schnauzer pup from a breeder at 8 weeks old. He is currently 13 years old and still in excellent health.
Eight weeks or two months old pup is perfect for toilet training which takes about a month to complete if you're consistent and patient. Remember, patience is key. Be kind. Do not smack your pup if it is not performing up to your standard.
How to toilet train puppies? Make sure to put feeding bowl at about less than two meters away from the toilet. Puppies have shorter legs than adults. Immediately carry your pup to the toilet after it finishes food. Do this three times a day consistently. After more or less two weeks, the puppy will attempt to walk to the toilet to do it's business on it's own. You may stand in front of the toilet and encourage it to go towards the intended direction. If the pup happens to poop halfway, never ever beat it. Just clean up the mess and stroke your pup. There is always the next time to do better.
If your pup happens to be a garden digger like mine, please do not fret. Gosh, how I wished he was a gold or truffle digger. By the way, there is a solution to this seemingly undesirable behavior. I've tried sprinkling pepper powder into holes but they didn't work. It just sneezed and continued digging away. Surprisingly, shit works best in deterring this behavior. Just scoop up your pup's poop and put into every hole it dug up. Do not forget to cover up the holes with soil afterwards. For some reasons, pups do not enjoy getting their paws soiled in poop.
My mutt displays characteristic similar to the teddy bear in the A.I. movie. It loves to hide mommy's hair in it's belly. Well, sometimes it swallows my hair by accident. When this happens, the poop tends to dangle around the butt area aka dangling poop. It will panicked and then ran towards me while simultaneously howling for help.
Hope my shit post has been entertaining!
Thank you for reading and till the next time!
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Cheers,
@wittywheat
I'd like to nominate @blanchy, @rentmoney and @kevinwong to participate in comedyopenmic week 39.
Hi wittywheat,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)
Judges:
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
Great entry @wittywheat! Good luck! Your dog looks so innocent! iheartdogs! Happy Saturday.
Thank you so much for stopping by. Happy weekend to you and family too! :-)
Not only was this a shit post but I got a tip to stop the mutt from digging up my garden
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You're most welcome! XD
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STOPWow, shit happens @wittywheat.
Sorry my shitty comment is late.
Shit happens all the time! @mineopoly
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