Searching For Head Finding Rear Ends Comedy Open Mic Round # 23
![head.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmQnfgE1FM8EUE3jnKSnh2QnPpGJRVGhkdJmYUrrA89MDF/head.jpg)
My beloved husband has cracked his head. Putting ole Humpty Dumpty back together again is not an option, so we are off to find a replacement. Don't be envious, replacing a partners head is not all it's cracked up to be.
First there is the trouble of locating a replacement. Then the obstacle course of hoop jumping to retrieve it. If removing it from the previous owner is required things can get complicated. Lucky for us there are some locals who do that, but it requires a road trip.
I always know when we go for a long weekend drive in the country it will be a drawn out event. There is much preparation on my part as I always pack a huge bail out bag. Lots of snacks, extra drinks, tums, cough drops, aspirin and even a small blanket.
There are perfect reasons for this all of which make perfect sense when you start out and always seem like a not so perfect idea in hindsight.
First off we never ever manage to make these trips in a vehicle from this decade. Well not the body anyway. Who knows what kind of Frankenstein mess is going on beneath the surface. Usually a combination of what ever parts and pieces will make it go.
I am pretty sure there is some duct tape and zip ties involved in this one for example. That may even be a coat hanger in the back who knows.
This pic was actually taken at our destination. They seemed ever so proud of what ever that is so I was politely impressed and snapped a pic.
But back to the trip The perfectly good reason for this one centers around the fact that the 66 Chevy we usually take is just an empty body at the moment because his innards are spewed out all over the place and in need of a part. When it comes to these adventures there is always a bad part involved. (explains the bail out bag)
After many phone calls and much haggling the perfect part was located.
So off we go in the '71 Do they not allow modern transport up there or what?
Somebody forgot to card these guys. Those rides look way underage.
But seriously did no one warn these folks about the coming MP3 attacks and solar flares? Oh well I have faith in my beloved to keep us rolling. I know he has a little metal Faraday box stashed away with extra electronic components. I plan to just sit back with the popcorn from my go bag and watch the show.
I don't know the name of the place as all the lettering is long gone from the sign. Looks like the last attempt to fix that was some sticky letters that have lost their stick.
The trip up went surprisingly smooth. And I can clearly see why they are obsessed with out dated transport.
Judging from the entrance the place has been untouched since at least the '70's . I am sure there is a great story behind the hole in the bottom of the door.First thing I thought is there must be a possum or coon in residence.
The very officialese looking signs indicate that if one makes off with my bag I will be on my own to chase him down.( I held on a bit tighter)
Looks like they put" especially "there between fire or theft then changed their minds and rubbed it out. More likely that use to say possum but then he died.
"No credit" is not quite carved in stone. Wonder if scratched in wood with a nail carries as much weight?
No matter I wouldn't want to be explaining to the in- laws why my husbands head is not paid off.
I was way too enthralled with the surroundings to ask any questions. There were all sorts of old cars in various stages of disrepair.
![1523719338799.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmcs8Ji3ZrgtyysXTWitUZ7yRqi45ofK3Ayci5YfpWfVhh/1523719338799.jpg)
Some seem to be going back together
And I am happy to snap pics since my phone has no bars. But then my ears perk up as I hear rear ends being referenced multiple times. Normal people would keep on snapping pics and pay it no mind.
We are not normal people.
I know this man I foresee already the problems.
We are going to be figuring out how to get home without getting his rear end wet.
There is no tarp in my go bag. I was prepared to stuff his head up front if necessary but there is no freaking way a big fat rear end is gonna fit on that seat. I got to get him out of here before they start building a cover with a car hood and some bungie cord. (where's that bag I need an aspirin)
Besides that it is time for me to find a decent restroom and this place does not look promising.
Last time I was brave enough to attempt a tinkle in a place like this I encountered a sign on the wall reading
"Do not wipe boogers and feces on the wall" In big letters too.
What kind of barbarian need a sign like that anyway? Sometimes it is better to just wait.
Finally I was able to pull him away from this little slice of automotive paradise. The story has a happy ending he now has a head a bonus rear end and I found a place to pee.
I also found a bonus. A working phone! I just need to remember to add a roll of quarters to my go bag for next time. Never know when I may need to call a girlfriend out on a rescue mission.
Entry for #comedyopenmic, Round 23
https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@comedyopenmic/comedy-open-mic-comedy-contest-round-23
Rules can be found here
https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@comedyopenmic/4pmdkb-comedy-open-mic-round-rules
hahaha... I love it! Very good and you rose to the challenge very well @headchange :P ... What a very funny story as I knew you could tell :)
I'm surprised you ended up going in the bathroom where they warned on the wall about feces and buggers weren't allowed. But I guess its better than going in the woods and you made it out ok :P
I also love the front door sign... That's something I would put up if I had a business... Who cares about looking pretty, just make sure that the message comes across right???
Well good job and you are now an official @comedyopenmic player! Which makes you truly a comedian now :D
Well thanks so much! I should make those poor guys a nice sign. Then I can say here's your sign that would be fun.
@headchange lol... I liked the sign... that is my kinda problem solving... why waste money on professional signs or on paying someone artistic to do it... Just do it yourself and people will get the message :P .... but if you did it for free, I am quite sure they would take it... I know I would've... People like me aren't so proud as to accept something better! We just don't want to pay for it 😂
Well that works out quite well. People like me enjoy doing these artsy things but run out of excuses to do them, or family members to pawn them off on.
Bet those guys would love a big ole psycho babe sign to put right out front.
I don't know about them, but I know if I was in their position (judging by the wonderful appearance from your pictures), I would've LOVED the psycho babe as a big lit up neon sign that could be seen from miles coming down the road! That baby has some talent and it would be amazing to see it finding a good place to work its magic! :P
Yeah it would fit right in. may even scare off a possum or two
I caught a possum about 2 weeks ago... trying to catch the chipmunks and a baby possum crawled into the trap.... Slow and dumb... Gotta love em!
Wait a min why were you trying to catch chipmunks? Gonna start a band? and what did you do to the possum?
I am going to loop back around to read this. Yay! Your first COM entry. Way to go with meeting the challenge from @davemccoy!
Thanks I kind of owed him one anyway. This extra long one should make up for that some.
You need to pack the car with way more stuff on the next road trip. Tarp for sure. Sounds like hubby is easily swayed with some nice pieces of front and rear metallic beckoning. 😂 Thinking of that restroom gave me shudders. Yuck, yuck yuck.
Way to go in joining COM!
Fot real I think car porn is really a thing who knew. Can you even imagine why they even put up a sign like that in the first place? The other place was two miles down the road. I couldn't believe that even the phone there was from the 70s Talk about time warp city.
Thanks the com is probably a one off thing. I am not very good at making posts.
I love road trips, and riding in old vehicles. Adopt me!
I remember hearing about some of your road trips. BYOB bring your own bandaids and you're in.
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OMG... what is this @headchange, a comedy? do I have to make a funny comment or post the funny story like this too? LOL.. I've never create a funny post before. well.. seems like your husband need an extra attention from a normal orthopedic..hhahaha
Hey there Cici You are suppose to do a post. Should be easy because you are funny all the time. He needs help alright lol
I'm funny because my language is mixed up between three languages..LOL.. well, will try to write down some, can i do that later?
Oh please do! This round lasts till Thursday.
Hi headchange,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating, this will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied.
Judges:
If you have any questions or quieries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
Thank you! Hope those judges have some adult beverages on hand. That adds to the funny factor quite a bit.
That was a pretty funny read. Redneck heaven area for sure. Interesting front door, You could have always asked to "borrow" one of their "blue" curtains for the rear end protection. ;-}
I have a sneaky feeling those "curtains are to protect their own property because of window leaks. It really was an interesting trip though. I managed to get tons of pics for later use. I am amazed that old places like that even still exist. With a bit of sprucing up that could be an awesome little shop.
Well that ended quite well I must say. I think its my God given right to wipe my feaces where I want to
Comon give a girl a break would ya? At least turn that shit into some decent graffiti or something.😷
That's exactly what I was thinking too. Put like a shitsteem logo in there. Hashtag promosteem
Guess that's what they mean by really putting yourself into your art.
Lol I was expecting something totally different reading the beginning of the post :p
Yeah I admit the trip took a couple of odd turns. Thanks for reading.
Yeah I admit the
Trip took a couple of odd
Turns. Thanks for reading.
- headchange
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.
You again? I should collect my haikus and make a bot roasting post.
It looks like you and I travel the same types of places.
You been peeing behind a bush too?