Searching For Head Finding Rear Ends Comedy Open Mic Round # 23

My beloved husband has cracked his head. Putting ole Humpty Dumpty back together again is not an option, so we are off to find a replacement. Don't be envious, replacing a partners head is not all it's cracked up to be.
First there is the trouble of locating a replacement. Then the obstacle course of hoop jumping to retrieve it. If removing it from the previous owner is required things can get complicated. Lucky for us there are some locals who do that, but it requires a road trip.
I always know when we go for a long weekend drive in the country it will be a drawn out event. There is much preparation on my part as I always pack a huge bail out bag. Lots of snacks, extra drinks, tums, cough drops, aspirin and even a small blanket.
There are perfect reasons for this all of which make perfect sense when you start out and always seem like a not so perfect idea in hindsight.
First off we never ever manage to make these trips in a vehicle from this decade. Well not the body anyway. Who knows what kind of Frankenstein mess is going on beneath the surface. Usually a combination of what ever parts and pieces will make it go.
I am pretty sure there is some duct tape and zip ties involved in this one for example. That may even be a coat hanger in the back who knows.

This pic was actually taken at our destination. They seemed ever so proud of what ever that is so I was politely impressed and snapped a pic.

But back to the trip The perfectly good reason for this one centers around the fact that the 66 Chevy we usually take is just an empty body at the moment because his innards are spewed out all over the place and in need of a part. When it comes to these adventures there is always a bad part involved. (explains the bail out bag)
After many phone calls and much haggling the perfect part was located.
So off we go in the '71 Do they not allow modern transport up there or what?

Somebody forgot to card these guys. Those rides look way underage.
But seriously did no one warn these folks about the coming MP3 attacks and solar flares? Oh well I have faith in my beloved to keep us rolling. I know he has a little metal Faraday box stashed away with extra electronic components. I plan to just sit back with the popcorn from my go bag and watch the show.
I don't know the name of the place as all the lettering is long gone from the sign. Looks like the last attempt to fix that was some sticky letters that have lost their stick.

The trip up went surprisingly smooth. And I can clearly see why they are obsessed with out dated transport.
Judging from the entrance the place has been untouched since at least the '70's . I am sure there is a great story behind the hole in the bottom of the door.First thing I thought is there must be a possum or coon in residence.
The very officialese looking signs indicate that if one makes off with my bag I will be on my own to chase him down.( I held on a bit tighter)

Looks like they put" especially "there between fire or theft then changed their minds and rubbed it out. More likely that use to say possum but then he died.
"No credit" is not quite carved in stone. Wonder if scratched in wood with a nail carries as much weight?
No matter I wouldn't want to be explaining to the in- laws why my husbands head is not paid off.

I was way too enthralled with the surroundings to ask any questions. There were all sorts of old cars in various stages of disrepair.

Some seem to be going back together
And I am happy to snap pics since my phone has no bars. But then my ears perk up as I hear rear ends being referenced multiple times. Normal people would keep on snapping pics and pay it no mind.
We are not normal people.
I know this man I foresee already the problems.

We are going to be figuring out how to get home without getting his rear end wet.
There is no tarp in my go bag. I was prepared to stuff his head up front if necessary but there is no freaking way a big fat rear end is gonna fit on that seat. I got to get him out of here before they start building a cover with a car hood and some bungie cord. (where's that bag I need an aspirin)

Besides that it is time for me to find a decent restroom and this place does not look promising.
Last time I was brave enough to attempt a tinkle in a place like this I encountered a sign on the wall reading

"Do not wipe boogers and feces on the wall" In big letters too.
What kind of barbarian need a sign like that anyway? Sometimes it is better to just wait.

Finally I was able to pull him away from this little slice of automotive paradise. The story has a happy ending he now has a head a bonus rear end and I found a place to pee.
I also found a bonus. A working phone! I just need to remember to add a roll of quarters to my go bag for next time. Never know when I may need to call a girlfriend out on a rescue mission.

Entry for #comedyopenmic, Round 23

https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@comedyopenmic/comedy-open-mic-comedy-contest-round-23

Rules can be found here
https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@comedyopenmic/4pmdkb-comedy-open-mic-round-rules

Nomination: @janton
and
@cicisaja