The Butthurt Wars - Haejin Vs Bernie - Who Won?

in #comedyopenmic5 years ago

epic battle 1.png

Lost in the folds of Steemit history, there lays tale of an epic battle between two giants of the blockchain. On the one side we have the Asian Assasin @haejin and on the other the Big Bad Whale @berniesanders.

At first this war was hailed as good vs evil, Bernie accused Haejin of blockchain reward rape, and Haejin retorted back with bully accusations.

The sides were drawn, the rallying calls made, the scene was set.

The Flag Wars

Bernie claimed he would crush Haejin like a cockroach, and so he put his plan to action, creating a mighty bot army to crash the ramparts of Haejin's castle.

Alas, Sir Bern had not figured on the powerful vassals of Haejin, namely one @ranchorelaxo. Try as he might the Berninator could not crush Lord Haejin as he so desired.

For each Bernie flag, came a much more powerful vote, and the rewards that Haejin so desperately sought came thick and fast as he posted ten times a day.

The Shit Posts

Bernie accused Haejin of shitposting, Haejin shot back that he had been shitposting on Twitter for years, and his following loved it. Indeed he said that this was evidence that they were NOT in fact shitposts, but valuable sources of information on which his supporters had made many millions of dollars.

Some agreed, some did not, the war raged on.

The Butthurt

If there was one thing that Sir Bernie of the Sanders loved, it was to flag people to oblivion. The amount of times we heard his hearty laughter as yet another ineffective flea tried to flag him, only to be blown to smithereens by the power of the bern, were too numerous to count.

Yet there was a great sadness in the young prince's heart, for he could not blow Haejin away because Lord Haejin was just as powerful, if not more so than he.

The Bern made one last desperate attempt to swell his army. He called upon the now disgraced Prince Ned, he sent a rallying cry to the Steem whales and dolphins alike.

Yet they all abandoned him in his moment of need, this left him destitute and broken in defeat. He knew without the support of vassals and mercenaries the war would be all but lost.

No longer could the Earl of Sanders hide his contempt for his fellow noblemen, he spat insults, delivered with withering contempt aimed at his peers who'd left him wanting in his time of need.

Slowly but surely he lost the war.

And slowly but surely his butthurt increased.

Can't Beat Them Join Them

Sir BS felt he had one more way to show his contempt, he decided to join Haejin and shit post his way to glory. If it had worked for The Dark Lord; why not he as well?

Thus the butt hurt Bernie began his shitpost campaign. Day after day he posted one liners, each one voted up to at least $12. Sometimes he couldn't even be bothered to write anything in the body of the post, preferring a simple one line title.

At other times he couldn't even bring himself to type a whole word, simply leaving a single letter or a number as his post.

Of course his fawning peons told him how wonderful he was, and offered on a daily basis to suck the royal manhood.

If however one would dare to speak out against such flagrant hypocrisy, The Bern would satisfy his need to crush minions and flag his dissenters.

The Next Chapter

Will there be a further chapter in the epic butthurt wars? Only time will tell. Both Haejin and Bernie are busy gathering a war fund by shitposting 5-10 pieces of absolute crap a day.

Though at least some people find Haejin's crap useful, as he posts charts of various stocks with absolutely no text to back it up.

People say they find Bernie's shitposts funny, however I bet if you took away all that Steempower those very same people would not be laughing.

Conclusion

Bernie lost the war and is butthurt, so now he takes pleasure in bullying accounts that he can crush, which will help boost up his oh so fragile ego again and making him believe he is someone important.

I expect to be crushed by Chairman Bern for this honest appraisal of the Butthurt Wars, after all, it is what dictators do, silence dissenters, crush resistance with swift and brutal reprisals.

My Dear Leader, I bow in deference to you, however know it is not sincere, it is simply your Steempower which has my respect. I await your punishment with anticipation . . .

To be continued...

IF ANY WHALES WOULD LIKE TO VOTE FOR THIS POST TO CANCEL OUT BERNIESANDERS INEVITABLE FLAG, I WOULD BE VERY GRATEFUL. HOWEVER IF NOT, NO BIGGIE.

IF YOU'RE NOT SCARED OF FLAGS, LET ME KNOW BELOW YOUR TAKE ON THE BUTTHURT WARS!

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Brought to you by @tts. If you find it useful please consider upvoting this reply.

If you were bernie would you really just sit there and watch haejin and fulltimegeek mass spam and self upvote and not do anything? If your enemies are building their SP, why wouldn't you? You are saying he should sit back and watch that and not do anything.

Had a feeling you were one of Sir Butthurt's accounts. I suppose you need an "I'm not a prick all the time" account.

Nice one :-)

Cg

I am saying no such thing. What I'm implying is that he is a hypocrite for doing exactly what he said he hates.

I could do the same thing, yet I choose not to because I hate hypocrisy.

Cg

I don’t like either if them, however I remember you talking shit to me last week, so I know ur full if it! flags

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