You will not be moving forward in the application process — Comedy Open Mic Round 39
from: denverwater__________
to: brandt__________
subject: Your online application has been successfully submitted
Dear BRANDT,
Thank you for applying to the 2336-Content Editor-Writer position at Denver Water. We will review your resume. If it is determined that you are a qualified candidate, we will contact you to schedule an interview.
Denver Water is dedicated to providing the best experience for our applicants. As part of our continuous improvement efforts, we ask that you take a few minutes to answer this brief survey about your experience applying for a position with our organization. We are eager to hear from you, so please be honest and specific!
Please click this link to access the survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/dwapplicant
Thank you for your interest in Denver Water.
This email was automatically generated. Please do not respond
from: veronica__________
to: brandt__________
subject: Denver Water - Content Editor
Dear BRANDT
Thank you for your interest in Denver Water!
After reviewing all candidates for the position of Content Editor, we'd like to inform you that at this time you will not be moving forward in the application process.
We greatly appreciate your time and effort, and encourage you to apply for any future positions with Denver Water.
Thanks,
VERONICA
Great, thanks. So I need a job. Do you have one for me?
Hi brandt,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)
Judges:
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.
@c-squared runs a community witness. Please consider using one of your witness votes on us here
Why thank you! Your support is much appreciated. Just voted for your witness account, btw, because I like what you're doing and omg look at that man candy.
It's no wonder you can't get a job, it's because
you're an asshole.
Fuck you @otherbrandt. If anyone's an asshole it's you, not me. And besides, there are lots of assholes in this world who have jobs; e.g., our idiotic cockgobbling commander in chief. So even if I was an asshole, which I'm not, your argument would be unsound.
you're an asshole.