RE: WHAT factors decide/influence how many children you want to have?
You sound to a modern man to me. I have 5 children. If it comes to their ages there is a big difference. My eldest could be the mom of the youngest two.
If I could do it all over I would not take children at all or perhaps just one.
I am worried about my youngest two, about their future and lack of freedom.
It was not the non stop feeling sick , vomiting, bleedings and extreme allergied during the pregnancies, nor the pain of giving birth that was the worst, but the fact I came out with a sick and broken body, bladder, kidneys, etc which will never cure.
It is something you do not count with and no it is not worth the child if you are always sick. I raised my children alone, had to work as well since their dads were just passing by to show off.
They were not all my choice at first, since it simply does not work that way. If a man wants a child the child will come, one way or the other, but I choose to take care of them and took all the responsibility to make them happy.
Nobody ever cared about me, my emotions or feelings or hormons. Right after giving birth (at home) I started to work again. I cleaned and cooked and went back at work. Since the first was born (35 years ago) I mainly slept for only 2-3 hours.
I think normally speaking money should not be such a big issue, till the moment they start going to school. For the youngest two it will not be possible to study, although they are high intelligent. There is no money and I do not want them to borrow it from the state and pay it back for the next 34 years or longer like their dad did.
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I am overwhelmed by just reading this and I can only imagine the range of emotions you had to go while expressing it.
It's true that men have very little consideration for all the changes a woman's body goes through while giving birth. It is also just heartbreaking to hear when a mother dies during the process of delivering her baby.
I can understand what you are trying to say here. It doesn't do any justice to the child also if the mother becomes so weak to take care of herself let alone the child.
I am not married yet and I have not seen life as long as you have but I do wonder from time to time what kind of parent I will be if I ever going to have children because it doesn't matter what kind of person you raise he/she will impact lives of many others.
I have personally witnessed the hardships a single mother has to go through even for raising a single child. Even after not only successful upbringing a child and paying for their tuition, marriage the woman is ridiculed and labelled selfish.
I admire and respect for what you have gone through and I sincerely hope everything in your life and your childrens' will turn out to be okay at the end.
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