Maybe that sounds like a nihilistic and self-involved statement. After all, we're living in this world where "we're all connected" and we're striving (ostensibly!) to create a better world through cooperation.

What I really mean here is that we have this increasing tendency — or so it seems — to put our collective eggs (It IS Easter, after all!) in other people's baskets, in hopes that we can ride their train to success, rather than do the work ourselves.

I did say "we" here, because I have occasionally been guilty of the same thing, myself. But there are limits...

The bright colors of spring...

Handing Off Our Personal Power

Whereas we might not think of it that way, there are many subtle ways a person can actually DIS-empower themselves.

Whether it means folks trying to get public assistance rather than work to make a living, or surfing friends' and family's couches rather than have their own place, or even relying on Steemit, Inc. to build a better experience here (as opposed to creating it, yourself)... these are all "fallacies" that essentially revolve around transferring the locus of control over our destinies — our successes, if you will — to something/someone outside ourselves, rather than employ any sort of self-reliance.

And when I say "outside ourselves," I'm not talking about a belief in God or some other higher power...

Just yesterday, I was listening to a friend of a friend complain that they were going to lose their garage apartment in that friend's house where they've basically been squatting for two years, never paying a cent of rent... and now they were blaming their friend for no longer being able to make the payments on the house, and having to sell.

Undoubtedly, having the squat is a nice thing, but relying on something you're not contributing to? Problematic...

Much of the time, you can't even (sadly!) rely on "other people" you pay, as Mrs. Denmarkguy has been discovering in the course of dealing with the café she's helping a friend develop and open. "If you want something done (right), do it YOURSELF!" is an old truism that's still in effect.

Independently of whether or not it may feel like "more work" when we do things ourselves, it creates a sense of disempowerment to hand off your destiny to somewhere/someone else.

Again, I don't mean this in the asking for help sense, but in the relying on something external sense. And I'm also not really talking about laziness, I'm more talking about abdicating personal accountability.

As very astutely put by another friend (we were having a conversation about "addictions" and addictive behavior) "getting high and getting drunk isn't going to make your life BETTER, it's just going to make you CARE less that your life is SHITTY."

Bottom line: Your life is still shitty.

The Difference is RECIPROCITY!

So what about the whole "we're all connected" and "we're all one big happy family" thing?

Well, that sort of brings us back to something that is near and dear to the hearts of many of the anarchists, freedomists and libertarians of this community: The fundamental difference between something that is "voluntary" and something that is "coerced." From my experience, one of the fundamental tenets of voluntaryism is reciprocity. Meaning something for something.

When we choose to help a person or a cause because we believe it serves some kind of collective greater good it is energetically quite different from skating through life trying to manipulate people and situations into "scoring some free shit."

Asking a friend whether you can sleep on their couch "for a week or two until I find a job" knowing full well that you're trying to score a long-term free rent, free food, free weed living situation is both not cool and (to get back to the title of this post) NOT RELIABLE!

And your friend kicking your ass out after two months is not about THEM, it's about YOU!

In the case of the person losing "their" garage apartment, an alternative outcome might have been to be really grateful that you had a free place to live for a couple of years, thanking your friend... and then pulling your head out of your ass and finding another place to live.

Getting charity is a nice thing, at the best of times. Relying on it is folly!

Which brings us to another way in which relying on others is not reliable: We're all individuals with our individual goals and dreams, and other people aren't necessarily going to operate according to the scenario you have all planned out, inside your head!

Maybe that sounds like Captain Obvious talking about Life 101, but I am often surprised by the frequency with which folks get thrown completely off course by the fact that other people think differently from them.

So, today's thought: It's nice when others do for you. Just don't rely on them "doing for you!"

Hope you've all had an awesome weekend!

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(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Created at 190421 21:20 PST
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