Our 20 year old Siamese cat, Vincent Vega, is clearly reaching the end of his life. He is mostly blind, he has kidney disease, a terrible case of arthritis, and only a few teeth left. His condition has been declining rapidly over the past few weeks, he is losing considerable weight as he struggles to eat. It shows, and he is more thin now than he has ever been in his life.

We think he only has a few weeks left at most. Every day we wrestle with the decision to put him down and we ask ourselves, how much pain we would be able to tolerate ourselves before we would just rather be dead. Then we try to decide if Vega is there yet. We take notes about each day, how well he eats, and put a star by any day we consider a good day. We use a minus for any day that we feel was a bad day for him. So far, today is a star!

Today Vega had a few minutes of energy to climb on to my wife's shoulders for a quick cuddle as they have done so many times before. He grew weary very quickly, and is sound asleep once again on his heating blanket.

Why Am I Here?

Every day for 19 years, Vega was there for me when I got home and he was always happy to see me. So it is really hard to imagine what my life will be like without him. He was my alter ego and it feels like I won't even know who I am anymore. This has all caused me to ponder the ancient question...

WHY AM I HERE?

I discussed this question with family and friends quite a bit over the past few days and a co-worker said that he knows his time is limited, so he really just wants to spend the time he has, with the ones he loves.

That is when it hit me. I realized why I am here, right at that moment.

I am here to spend time with the ones I love.

My New Purpose

So my new purpose in life, is to spend these last remaining weeks giving this cat as comfortable a death as any cat, or any human, could possibly ask for.

Kitty Hospice

Our home is being turned into a Kitty Hospice for Vega, effective immediately. Extra blankets and padding is everywhere lined with heating blankets to help him keep warm. We feed him only his favorites. We stay close to him, watch him heavily, stroke him, say his name, and tell him everything is OK.

There was a major thunderstorm the other night too. He came to bed with us and slept under the sheets with my wife scared of thunderous lightning that literally lasted all night, and well into the morning. He only does that when he is frightened.

It warmed her heart to be there for him when he was scared. Which is great. That is exactly what I want both of them to remember.

Play on kitty cat... Play on... We will always be there for you.

Self Help

I am a huge fan of self help reading. Here is a book I have started and intend to finish soon on this subject. It is very good, very thoughtful, deep, and perfectly considerate for me at this time. Hopefully this post can help someone else like us someday.

https://www.amazon.com/Loss-Pet-Coping-Grieving-Process/dp/1630260797