3 Awesome Negotiation Tips!
In graduate school, I was able to take a negotiation class taught by a former FBI hostage negotiator, Chris Voss, one of the Bureau's top negotiators. Although the class was a great hands-on course with plenty of example negotiations, Chris distilled a lot of his secrets into a book, 'Never Split the Difference', which I highly recommend. But, if you wanted to just get the highlights, I've listed some of his quick tips and concepts from my class notes below to help out any negotiators out there on Steemit.
"Empathy is defined as the ability to recognize the perspective of a counterpart and the vocalization of that recognition." - Chris Voss
To preface, the core of Chris' techniques was empathy - taking the time to understand and relate to the customer and/or terrorist and communicate that understanding. This focuses negotiations on a Win-Win scenario and the satisfaction of both parties. The ideas and concepts listed below are much more about information gathering and active listening than the adversarial nature of most negotiations. A large goal is to extract "asynchronous information" to best understand your counterpart.
"Empathy is defined as a demonstrating an understanding of the other side’s needs, interests and perspective, without necessarily agreeing." - Mnookin’s “The Tension between Empathy and Assertiveness”
Labels
A label is a a verbal observation or recognition. They help demonstrate comprehension and can be used to identify driving forces and dynamics in a negotiation. They can be used to to reinforce “positive” things - the things that work for you, or dissolve or reduce negative topics. Labels can be used early or late in a negotiation to different affect - either to draw out more information or reinforce points. Labels can be prepared prior to a negotiation, and most labels are best followed by effective pausing.
E.g.
- “It sounds/seems/looks like………”
- "It sounds like security is very important to you."
- "It looks like budget is a primary concern."
- "I'm sensing some hesitation in moving forward."
Paraphrasing / Summarizing
Putting the content or meaning in your own words. Paraphrasing displays your understanding of the concept at hand, and helps you draw more information out from the customer if your paraphrasing is lacking in some way. Summarizing the key points of your conversation helps ensure you are understanding and able to vocalize the other side's perspective. As a way to clarify the terms and be certain everyone is on the same page, these methods can reduce implementation errors. Empathy is also strengthened by summarizing and paraphrasing a counterpart’s perspective.
Calibrated Questions
1
Calibrated questions are a means to find additional value in a discussion. These are open ended discussion that allow your counterpart to provide information. They tend to be 'What' and 'How' questions, and only occasionally 'Why'. 'Why' questions can lead people to become defensive and are sensitive to your tone and delivery. Every response to a calibrated question should be properly labeled by you to recognize their point.
E.g.
- What are we trying to accomplish?
- What is the core issue here?
- What is the biggest challenge you are facing?
- How is that worthwhile?
- How does that affect things?
- How does that fit into your long-term goals?
- How does success look to you?
- Label - "It appears coming within your budget is very important to you.
Previous Posts
Follow Me|| SomethingSubtle.com || New to Steem? || Minnow Support
Brillant post @somethingsubtle. Whilst these techniques are based on hostile environments, they really do seem to relate to everyday life.
When I attempt to get a point across to my partner, 'What' is always preferential to 'Why'. Do you use these tactics in everyday life as well?
Yes, I find they are a big part of listening in an active and engaged way and re-expressing my partner's thoughts in a clear way to highlight my understanding.
Paraphrasing is a component of a parenting philosophy I follow, but they call it active listening. I live for the day someone I'm talking to will paraphrase me. If that were to ever happen, I'd probably just stop talking and hug them. It's nice to be heard.
Yea, its definitely a lesson I've taken outside of negotiations. I try to paraphrase coworkers and my wife to better understand their goals and needs. It helps immensely to align my mental image with whatever they are trying to get across.
Amazing post, it will be surely going to help me and many others.
Upvoted , thank you for sharing
Negotiating is a vital skill for everyone to study. Thanks for the tips.
😄😇😄
Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by SomethingSubtle from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, and someguy123. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows and creating a social network. Please find us in the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.
If you like what we're doing please upvote this comment so we can continue to build the community account that's supporting all members.
@somethingsubtle got you a $2.18 @minnowbooster upgoat, nice! (Image: pixabay.com)
Want a boost? Click here to read more!
I got a bellyRub and this post has received a 47.39 % upvote from @bellyrub thanks to: @somethingsubtle.
i dig it!
Thank you for writing, this is part of a body of knowledge that I am greatly interested in expanding here on steemit. I hope you will consider a new tag I am proposing called #humanrelations for posts like this. I feel we are sorely in need of tag specifically for Social Skills, Body Language, Relationship Advice, Sales Techniques ect.
see this post: New Tag Campaign - #HumanRelations for more information.
(#notabot Genuine Alien Interaction)
Really awesome tips...