The Struggle to Quit Cannabis
Hello Everyone,
I would like to discuss my addiction to cannabis and the struggle I'm facing to quit. Yes, imo it is possible to get addicted to cannabis; I start smoking cannabis recreationally on/off about six/seven years ago. I guess I started because I was young and experimenting and it seems to run in the family; most of my family members smoked regularly so it seemed right to give it a try. After a while, I started to like it and pretty much from that point forward I was a stoner; flash forward to today and I still smoke at least nine bowls a day of the finest bud legally here in the beautiful state of Colorado. The problem is that things have changed and my life has changed I work a full time job to build our life; I'm now the father of three children and a husband to a beautiful wife. My wife partakes in smoking cannabis with me due to health reasons and she does enjoy it for recreational purposes as well. Our children are educated on it and know we smoke (we have a special room they are not allowed in) and understand why we do it. I like smoking, hell I love it but the cost is so high its quite a drain on us financially. I feel I have become reliant on it to cope with the challenges of everyday life; I can't seem to handle any stressful situation without running to the bong. So those are the two reasons why I want to quit but I can't seem to stop. I've been trying to quit for over a year and have had no luck I used to have no problem stopping after smoking for months at a time but now I can't go a single day without smoking. I've tried going cold turkey, winging myself off, out of site out of mind, etc. nothing works. Right now life is fine financially as far as bills go but all of our extra money goes into cannabis and we are stuck living check to check instead of building savings or investing. I don't know what to do so I thought I would start a discussion and get some experience with trying to quit cannabis. Were you successful with quitting? If not, why not? Did you struggle with quitting? How did you do it if you did struggle along the way? What new things are you trying to do if you still are struggling to quit?
Thanks
werd. First two weeks are hell, after that it's fairly easy. I have to avoid friends who smoke for a couple of months, because they tend to not want you to quit and will offer you a hit anytime they see you. I've been off (99.99%) weed since Nov 1, 2015. I did get drunk about a month ago and take a hit outside a bar with the guy I used to get it from, but was able to walk away and turn him down the next time he offered.
That's probably the hardest part is cutting off friends who smoke until you're certain you can be around weed without giving in to the temptation of ... "just for tonight". I've never been able to keep it to "just for tonight". Once I start up again, it's all day, every day. And that's what keeps me from doing the easy thing now and going and getting some. Because I know it will be 1-2 years before I'm able to stop for even a day or two after that. I'm an addict with everything and that's on me, not necessarily the thing I'm partaking in, it's just me. I like to do things I enjoy and I LOVE dro.
But, I tend to just stay inside and smoke and stay on the computer all day, which hinders my relationships with others who don't smoke. I was one of those smokers that didn't like to be around non-smokers when I was high. Most non-smokers had no clue I even smoked, unless I told them. Mainly because I wouldn't see them for a long time ... because I was always high.
That just got old for me after many years. I missed being around other people that didn't smoke and I hated having to hide from them or hide the fact that I've been smoking just to be near them for a few minutes. I'm really enjoying my break from weed and don't really have many urges to smoke again unless I get around it when my guards are down. So I try to avoid that.
The longest I have been able to stay away from smoking since I was 15 was 1 year and 3 months back in 2007. I threw a party at my house and someone dropped a bag of weed on the ground that my neighbor found and asked me about. I told him I had no clue who's it was but I would go throw it in the dumpster down the road. I drove down to the dumpster and proceeded to put it into my pocket and go back home and light one up in the shower, thinking my wife wouldn't notice it. She did, but I played it off. I thought I'd just quit the next day, but the next time I stopped smoking was 2015.
For that reason I realized I had a problem and I was the problem. It was affecting my relationship with my wife and kids and I needed to stop. It took me nearly 6 months to make it past a day or two before I would get pissed about something and just go get some more as an excuse to make me feel better. But as I said above, it gets much easier with time. After 3-4 days most of the urges to just do the easy thing and go get some were gone. Then it would creep up if something bad happened, but what I did to counteract that was start investing the money I would have normally spent on weed into something else that gained in value. That did the trick for me. Watching my money grow instead of watching it vaporize every 3 days was very helpful in aiding me to quit.
I was buying Bitcoin every 3 days, which was as often as I would have been buying weed. And now I'm a very happy man. That money would have been wasted just to make me think I was dealing with something that was not really a big issue at all and that I am today able to just blow off and move on. I realized I don't really have any big issues in life, I was just creating them to have an excuse to get high. And now I'm far better off economically because I was able to quit.
IKR! You would think it would be one of the easiest things to give up compared to my other struggles with soda and stuff like that. Thank you for sharing your story I manage to quit for a month last February. It's hard because I still have to buy for the Mrs. and after you smell the good smell of a quality strain so many times you just can't help but given in. I feel weak because I always prided myself on having control and the proper financial motivations to stop but yet here I am still smoking so much for control rite lol.
Maybe it's not the weed or alcohol that you're addicted to. It could just be your environment that causes your brain to fall back into the same pattern, thus causing you to go take a bong toke to cope with your troubles. I have a found a video that explains addiction in a new and easy way to understand.
For me personally, as soon as my environment changes then the ideas of what I want to be doing in that moment changes as well. When I go back home to visit my parents, the environment of my childhood home and being with my family doesn't let my brain "want" anything else. I have noticed that whenever I need to take a break from any form of addiction, whether it be gambling or toking up, the only step I need to take is to change my environment for a few days. The brain just ends up rewiring itself and it starts to become easier to change what you do throughout the day, this is especially true if you have been smoking for years everyday and it has become a pattern that your brain always follows. Just get out more or switch up your daily tasks!
Cheers, wish you goodluck!
@dailyfeed thank you for sharing your experience and I'll definitely have to watch the video later tonight. I definitely agree that a change of environment would be very healthy and we're planning a visit back to our home state very soon that may be my moment to finally kick the habit I'll will definitely incorporate that into my near plans for my future blog post thanks again.
You're very welcome and I wish you luck! This was a very interesting read and I would like to hear more about your story. Give us an update whenever you have the chance! Cheers mate!
Great video. Food for thought about addiction. I love having my paradigms challenged. Certainly explains some of my own behavior more reasonably.
Thanks, my perspective on addiction changed after discovering that video and how I tread others with addiction. Sometimes people just don't have that different environment that they can go to by themselves, so I try being as positive as I can around people with addictions to help them feel a bit more positive in the place that they are in.
Cheers!
Excellent information!
The only 'addiction' you have to cannabis is the relief it's bringing you for the issues you're dealing with. Once the issues are resolved, your so-called 'addiction' to cannabis will go away, there are no physical withdrawals that will make you crave it.
I highly recommend emofree.com for some great techniques on finding and dealing with the issues you may be dealing with.
Cannabis is phenomenal and I'm glad you're relieving your issues with it instead of physically addictive drugs. There's life after issues. :D
Keep it Clean!
I missed this comment back then and just came across it, great vid thanks! :)
I smoked daily for 10 years.
When I think back, what actually got me to quit when I wasn't smoking was that I was living in Thailand / the States where it wasn't available - so that gave me the break. And living in Bali now, I won't touch it due to the risk of jail.
though, for several years while I was still smoking, it wasn't really having a positive effect most of the time - more just triggering anxiety & paranoia. my body really wasn't liking it, but I wasn't listening and just kept up with the habit.
after the last major breaks, when I've gone back to it, my body just tells me right away it's not working well for me. I still really would love to smoke it, but most of the time, it doesn't make me feel good and fucks with my head, so just not worth it. I am looking forward to moving back to Canada and testing out some different strains from a compassion club to find if any in particular do work well for me.
maybe try microdosing to slow down. i've heard it can be pretty effective - taking SMALL tokes. might be a good bridge to stopping entirely, IF you really do want to stop / your body is telling you to. otherwise, it'll still cut down the cost and give your body enough to stabilize...
Thank you for sharing your experience right now we are currently on microdosing to try and make an OZ last a month and slow down a little so far so good I'm down to 7 bowls a day so its progress!
Imho...find a hobby you love as much as your drug of choice and try to focus on doing that instead of that drug whenever you get the urge. Rarely is anything easy, but that should help you during the hardest times :)
You're right I do need a hobby I've also tried picking one up like reading or coding but three kids keeps us pretty busy so I just procrastinate and eventually drop it. I'm starting to discover from reading the responses that there are a lot of underlining issues to why I can't stop.
Cannabis is not the problem. Your relationship to the plant is.
Your addiction is filling a void.
Eat well, exercise, sleep, have good relationships .. use cannabis, if you use at all, as a spice, not as the main dish.
I'd bet that you so often and so easily fall back into it, because you have no better idea of what to do with that time.
Create new plans and new activites, quickly you'll see you don't need the herb at all.
But remember, it's not the plants' fault..
I suggest you look up the work of a Dr. Gabor Maté, personally I've always liked his views on addiction.. may it shine some light on your situation as well.
Good luck!
This is the best reply so far. Some of the other comments are downright dangerous. I second the recommendation of Gabor Mate, here's a video of him talking:
First thing I would point out is that I think this would be a great series for Steemit. You could regularly update us on your progress. I think that would be fascinating. Plus through those updates we can all work together to try to help you through this. Weed is not the problem. Probably the biggest problem facing you right now is actually that you think it is. As long as you blame weed or blame yourself you will never "quit" it. These beliefs will only make you feel worse which causes you to go running to your favorite form of medicine: weed. Even IF you could quit weed without addressing the underlying problem, the odds are you would simply run to an even worse substance like alcohol or opiates. I love Peter Boghossian's quote, "If you don't have the right target, by definition you have the wrong target." Weed is not chemically addictive. You may need it, but you are not chemically dependent on it. What you need to figure out is why you are psychologically dependent on it. Step 1, therefore, should be finding a good therapist. How will you know they're good? When they give you some genuine insight as to why you might be overusing a substance. Hint: if they say it's because you "have an addictive personality" or because, "Weed is just too good," look for another therapist. But they likely won't because they're professionals and that would be moronic. They'll talk to you about your relationships, past traumas, etc. to attempt to search out what it is that is triggering you to smoke so often. Generally it has to do with a deficit of human connection in your life. That both you and your wife smoke so frequently would suggest that your marital relationship is not healthy. This does not mean you should get a divorce. Quite the opposite. I suspect that something is not "right" there but since you two love each other you're attempting to plaster over the problem with weed out of fear that addressing the problem head-on would lead to separation. Pretending the problem doesn't exist, as you can see, will not help and in fact will likely lead to separation. If you want to stop smoking then you should probably enter therapy ASAP as well as couple's therapy. As far as couple's therapy is concerned, I would personally steer clear of any therapists whose focus isn't 100% on saving your marriage. Don't fuck around. It literally can't hurt so you might as well do both right away. If you needed help funding the therapy that could be a good use of this platform. I'd gladly contribute.
@karnal Thank you for the advice and guidance I'll definitely look into his work more! I definitely don't blame the cannabis the planet is so hopeful to people and its just like anything else too much of a good thing can be bad for you. We are working on more family hobbies that include more activites so I wont procrastinate some much with my life lol.
@andrarchy Thank you for your advice as well its provided a lot of insight! I've considered blogging on my Steemit to share my story and experience to hopefully one day help those in need of advice as well. As far the human connection part you are spot on with the deficit of human connection I work from home and generally the only people I see is my family and our neighbor who is more of my wife's friend. We moved here from out of state about a year ago and its been a struggle to rebuild our life here to stability so I haven't had a lot of time to make new friends but I do talk to existing once on the phone and through social media quite frequently so that may count for something I'm not sure how professionals look at that. As far as the relationship with my wife, we have our up's and down's there are periods where things are what I like to call a "Utopia" period where we are very much in love with each other and then there are other times when its a "Hell" period and we fight and disagree and things have gotten pretty bad before no violence though we've never even thought about laying a hand on each other; but eventually we learn to get over it and apologize to each other and try to avoid it going forward. I definitely don't think couple's counseling would hurt. I have no doubt I need therapy(who doesn't these days?) and that would be very constructive the problem is I've had one therapy session in my life when I was 19 and it did not go so well so thats left quite a imprint on me that I struggle to overcome and actively seek counseling. Divorce is not on the table for options at this point we've both agreed on, we just had a new baby in February and both of us know that we work better together for the children then we do apart and I believe that help offer a feeling of security to help with the dark days lucky.
Awesome, glad you find it helpful. Your reply does give some more info though so since we're trying to work together to get through this allow me to render some additional feedback given this new info.
Regarding friends. Time to get out there and make some. It takes a village. The more people you know, the more friends you have, the less strain you will have on your marriage and the less of a strain it will be on your kids. Join a church. Join a biker gang. Join some gay board game club where you hang out with a bunch of nerds. I don't care if you're not religious, that's not what this is about. Part of the reason you are having problems at home is probably because you aren't outside dealing with real humans and learning from them. Is the wife being annoying? Guess what, literally every other married guy is dealing with the same shit. If you're not talking to them about it, you're not learning from them. Have social anxiety? Time start developing "My marriage sucks and my kids are going to be traumatized" anxiety. Giving your kids anything less than a loving relationship is a disservice to them that will plague them their whole lives. How was your parents' marriage? I'm guessing not good. Do you think it's a coincidence yours isn't? You and your wife can love each other all the time. That is possible. But it's not either of your faults that you don't, I would suspect neither of your parents had especially healthy marriages. That's why you need a couple's therapist. Not because you guys are "bad" at marriage, or you "made a mistake," but because you simply haven't learned how to be married. That's why you go to a professional.
People make promises all the time, I don't care that you and your wife have agreed to take divorce "of the table." You really think you're the first? Ultimatums like that do not work because you are effectively resigning yourself to the fact that you and your wife do not love each other at least some of the time. You and your wife need to be figuring out how to love each other, not trying to figure out how to avoid conflict. You need to learn how to resolve conflicts, not avoid them. Therapy is NOT something you need because you're SICK. There is nothing WRONG with you. A good therapist helps you learn how to deal with conflict, relationships, emotions, tragedy, etc. in a healthy way as opposed to an unhealthy way.
So based on your response I would recommend getting to a therapist sooner rather than later. I'm certainly not an expert, but I can guess some stuff from your post that might surprise you. First off, I'm guessing your parents didn't have a very good relationship and you didn't have a very good relationship with them. I bet you think that the way you and your wife argue is "normal" for couples. It may be normal ... but it is super unhealthy. The fact that physical violence seems to be the line you two have not crossed is extremely, extremely bad. The standard you should be applying to yourselves is that you almost never raise your voice. People who yell do not know how to properly resolve conflict. That's what a couple's therapist will teach you. I suggest you get on that ASAP. Your promise to stay together will not work. Right now WEED is your couple's counselor. Good news, it doesn't get any worse than that. I promise you, if you do not get a neutral 3rd party expert into the situation, your family will not last. Now, if you had a robust social network, I would say talk to your closest friends about this stuff. Making friends who are themselves in healthy relationships (which usually means they also have good relationships with their parents and other family members) would be good too. Until you can make those happen (which you should by the way), a couples therapist should be your first course of business. You might even find that the couples therapy is enough for you. But if not, don't hesitate to get some additional counseling in there. BTW, I don't recommend therapy willy-nilly. It's just that in your particular case I don't see any other option. Frankly, weed might be the only thing keeping your family together :/
Oh shit, one last thing. If you are jerking off to porn STOP THE PRESSES. Stop jerking off to porn for a week and I BET you that you are becoming the fucking Einstein of how to make your wife love you and fuck you. This isn't about morality or any of that shit. If you're watching porn there's almost nothing else we have to talk about. Your BRAIN doesn't know it's watching porn. It thinks you're having sex with 10s and then it looks at your wife and sees a 6. Quitting porn should be step #1. In fact, if you are a porn watcher, that is probably doing you more harm than weed. At least weed is giving you and your wife something to bond over.
@andarchy Well thank you for the feedback I'm not sure my relationship is really that bad and I may have made out to seem like its worse then it is so I apologize if I have. We'll definitely look into our options because so far you've been spot on so maybe there are things there we just don't see and couples therapy has never hurt anything. The porn thing isn't really a issue we have a very active sex life so no time for porn lol. Again thank you for the feedback!
Oh well that's good! About the sex that is. Unfortunately what that means is that the source of your problem is something other than porn. One of the problems people have is that they think that if they're "managing" something, it's fine. You are looking at your relationship and going, "Well the relationship is fine, therefore, it's not a big deal." First of all, your relationship will be "fine" right up until the moment it is "not fine." So the fact that it is fine is totally irrelevant. The titanic was fine right up until the moment it struck the iceberg. I am not looking at your relationship to determine whether your relationship is ok, I'm looking at your substance abuse (BTW I smoke weed about every other day, so I actually have personal knowledge of the substance and using it habitually). That's how I was able to know so much about your relationship without knowing anything about you. Once you stop feeling the need to stop smoking weed, then I'll believe you when you say your relationship is fine. But right now, I'm sorry to say, you are certainly in no position to evaluate your own relationship. Now, I'm not saying your relationship is "awful" or "doomed" that's the whole point. You want to turn the ship around before it gets to that point. Your weed consumption is a symptom. It's a signal. It's telling you, "Hey, something is not right in your life." Everyone who has commented on this thread talking about tricks they used to stop consuming a substance have not solved their real problems. That's why many of them talk about their continued struggle. They haven't solved the problem obviously. I'm telling you that the weed is a signal that you are heading toward an iceberg and you're going, yeah but we're still going forward. Um, yeah. Congrats. There's a reason why the divorce rate is so high and that is exemplified by many of the responses in this post. Most people still do not understand the real sources of substance abuse and how to maintain healthy relationships. Instead, as always, they look for cheap tricks and quick fixes. The fix is actually quite easy though, you just have to abandon your ego, seek professional help and guidance and open yourself up to your mate. My guess is that right now you are primarily governed by fear. You're afraid to see a therapist. You're afraid to go out and meet new people. You're afraid that if you and your wife separate it will be bad for your kids (it will be). What you need to understand is that these fears will create a self-fulfilling prophecy if you don't conquer them ASAP. You will not receive the help you need. You will not meet new people. Your children will be raised in an unhealthy environment. There is no chance I'm wrong. Humans aren't that hard to predict. That's how I make money actually (investing).
Cannabis isn't really addictive. You just love it lol. Perhaps it can be a bit psychologically addictive. I have quit in the past for periods of about a year, to know that I have control over it. You will need a new activity to change your routine. We are creatures of habit. Post on Steemit every time you get an urge lol
I just stay away from my friends who smoked pot. Bad company corrupts good moral.
Yeah I think that's why I was able to quit last time but unfortunately the Mrs. still smokes and she's tried smoking outside or alone it just doesn't work the same as complete isolation.
You might look into ayahuasca or iboga. Both are renowned for ending addictions like throwing a switch. I killed a porn addiction with ayahuasca.
Do your own research, of course, but it's something worth looking into if you haven't already. Good luck!
@modprobe thank you for the advice and sharing your experience with addiction we've thought about trying DMT and Ayahuasca for the experience we've seen the documentary on Netflix and we are intrigued to say the least. The problem is that we are full time parents for two young boys and a 4 month old girl so such opportunity are rare we live out of state from our family and don't know anyone well enough to trust them overnight with the kids. So maybe one night when the mother-in-law is in town. ;)
Understandable. Ayahuasca is not something you want to do carelessly. I've not tried smoking DMT directly, so I can't speak to that.
@modprobe I've heard its more intense then Ayahuasca but my wife has always preferred trying Ayahuasca over DMT so most likely that will be the first thing we try. I've never heard of iboga though.
I cannot stress it enough, find the source of your issues that cannabis is relieving and work them out. Your cannabis 'addiction' will fade away and you'll be able to take or leave cannabis as you desire.
It really is that simple. Long involved process, depending on your issues, but still a simple process.
Keep it Clean! :)
Sounds cheesy, but when the WHY is big enough....the HOW will take care of itself. Good luck to you, and if it's truly just the financial aspect, you should just grow your own since we do live in the fine state of CO.
@cotough Lol well sometime honesty is just cheesy kinda like love. Yeah I would love to grow but landlord says no thank you for the suggestion though good luck to you as well!
Don't overlook this comment. I would recommend getting deep into meditation with your wife. take some courses, its just as much of a trip :)
Comment seen! ;) Thank you for the advice we have been trying dream sharing meditation so hopefully we'll see some results soon!