Deadlier than the male - Deadlier Beginnings Part 10

in busy •  3 months ago

Yes, I've been slacking - at least where my writing is concerned.
To catch up with this story, please follow the links.

I've shared this story before, a long time ago and I have new followers now, plus I'm working on the story to edit it. If you've read the story and have no interest in reading it again - with or without the improvements and commentary - please feel free to move on and ignore it.

If you've not read the story or you feel you'd like to re-read it and are perhaps curious about the comments and adjustments I'm making, please, grab a cuppa or a glass of wine, sit down, and enjoy the journey.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9

This has been edited from the original version. Just a quick 'go over' can make a lot of difference and I'd recommend taking the time to do this, even if you're sending your work to an Editor after.

Chapter 2

An angry murmur flowed through the crowd. By the time they got Hazel back to her cottage, Ruth and half a dozen other women were there, making a warm drink for her, turning her bedding down, getting water warmed up to clean her with. Other chores were being done in order to make themselves feel like they were helping her. Everyone was at a complete loss.

Ruth and Katherine stayed with her that night, talking to her, reassuring her that she was safe. Even Mika was subdued, only coming close to her twice during the night, to nuzzle her when she lay sobbing.

Hazel stayed in her cottage, tucked up on her pallet all the next day. She spent the time in abject misery, only speaking to Ruth and Katherine when necessary and curled up into a ball even when she wasn't sleeping. On the second day, Luke came to visit. Ruth told him Hazel did not want to be disturbed and Luke was about to go away when Hazel asked to see him.

Luke waited outside until Hazel had got off her pallet and sat at the table. When he came in and saw her, his face blanched. Her eyes were both black, bruised and swollen, her nose broken, misaligned and tender. Blood seeped through the bandage on her hand, seeping through the wrapping, to stained the cloth.

"Oh dear God, he went too far,” he whispered. “Do you know who did this to you? Oh Hazel! My Hazel!" He took her in his arms and held her almost too tight. They both wept and Ruth left them alone, taking Mika with her.

Luke held Hazel for the longest time, until she finally broke from his grasp. He looked into her face, gazing deep into her bloodshot eyes.

"Please don't cry any more, Hazel; I’ll never let anything hurt you ever again!"


This version of the story has been edited over the years and this was the final version... until today. I've made a few changes (above) and I hope they make a difference.

Chapter 2
There was an angry murmur flowing through the crowd. By the time they got her back to her cottage, Ruth and half a dozen other women were there, making a warm drink for her, turning her bedding down, getting water warmed up to clean her with. Any number of other chores was being done in order to make themselves feel like they were helping her. Everyone was at a complete loss.

Ruth and Katherine stayed with her that night, talking to her, reassuring her that she was safe. Even Mika was subdued, only coming close to her twice during the night, to nuzzle her when she was sobbing.

Hazel stayed in her cottage and on her pallet all the next day. She spent the time in abject misery, only speaking to Ruth and Katherine when necessary and curled up into a ball even when she wasn't sleeping. On the second day, Luke came to visit. Ruth told him Hazel did not want to be disturbed and Luke was about to go away when Hazel asked to see him.
Luke waited outside until Hazel had got off her pallet and was sitting at the table. When he came in and saw her, his face blanched. Her eyes were blackened, her nose was swollen and there was an obvious break in it. Her hand was bandaged but blood had seeped through the wrapping and stained the cloth.

"Oh dear God, he went too far,” he whispered. “Who did this to you? Oh Hazel! My Hazel!" Suddenly he had taken her in his arms and was holding her almost too tight. They both wept and Ruth left them alone, taking Mika with her.

Luke held Hazel for the longest time, until she finally broke from his grasp. He looked into her face, gazing deep into her bloodshot eyes.

"Please don't cry any more, Hazel; I’ll never let anything hurt you ever again!"

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