"A Fine Day Out At The Airport" ~ My (Theoretical) Five Minute Freewrite ~ Prompt: Cane ~ Original (Sort Of) Story and Original Photography ~
Sometimes, You Just Gotta Finish The Story
Five Minute Freewrite
Prompt: Cane
"Final call. All passengers for Flight #726 to Minneapolis. Please proceed to gate L-2687. This is your final boarding call."
"Is that us, honey?"
"No Grandma, we're going to Seattle. And we still have to go through security. We have a couple of hours before our flight. We're alright."
"Oh good."
"We have to go over here, Grandma."
"I.D. PLEASE!"
"My I.D.?"
"He just wants to see your driver's license, Grandma."
"Oh. We didn't have to do this in the old days."
"No, things are a little different now. He just wants to make sure it's really you."
"Who else would I be?"
"I.D. PLEASE!"
"Let's see, where did I put it. Oh, here it is."
"PLEASE TAKE IT OUT OF THE WALLET FOR ME, MA'AM."
" It isn't really a very good picture of me."
"Better just show him your license, Grandma."
[stamp stamp, shuffle, stamp stamp, draw odd circles and lines, stamp, shuffle]
"THANK YOU MA'AM. PLEASE PROCEED TO LINE C THERE. BEHIND THE ROPES."
"We have to go over here now Grandma. Put your carry-on there, on the conveyor belt."
"Where are they taking it?"
"Its just going to be X-rayed, then they'll give it back to you."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, see, it comes out over there. On the other side. Then you get it all back."
"Imagine that."
"PLEASE REMOVE YOUR SHOES, MA'AM."
"... ? ...."
"You have to take off your shoes, Grandma. And put them in the bin too."
"Why do I have to take off my shoes, honey?"
"To make sure you aren't carrying anything bad in them."
"Bad? In my shoes? Like what?"
"Oh, I don't know. Like a lighter, or matches or things like that."
"Matches. In my shoes? Why would I do that?"
"You wouldn't, but someone might."
"Mercy Me!"
"I know...you just have to do it. Put them on the belt. In the bin."
"OK."
"ANY JEWELRY, CHANGE, KEYS? EMPTY ALL YOUR POCKETS, PLEASE. IT ALL GOES IN THE BIN, MA'AM. THE CANE GOES ON THE BELT TOO."
"My cane too?"
"YES MA'AM. THE CANE HAS TO BE SCREENED AS WELL."
"Oh for Goodness Sakes."
"It's OK Grandma, they'll give it back right over there. Once you go through the X-ray machine there."
"I have to go through THAT?"
"Yes."
"What for?"
"They X-Ray you."
"Good Heavens."
"PLEASE STEP THROUGH, MA'AM. PLACE YOUR FEET ON THE OUTLINES ON THE FLOOR. RAISE YOUR HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD. HOLD VERY STILL PLEASE. WAIT A MOMENT. OK, THANK YOU. PLEASE STEP ON THROUGH."
"See, that wasn't so bad, was it Grandma?"
"I feel like I'm on the Untouchables. Hee hee."
"It IS a lot of rigamarole, isn't it? But we're all done. You can put your shoes back on now."
"Oh good. I just need my cane."
"MA'AM, WHAT IS THIS ??!!"
"That's my cane."
"NO. WHAT IS THIS ??!!!!!!
"Oh, that's my sword."
"GRANDMA?!!!!!!....You have a sword? In your CANE?!!"
"Oh, yes dear. I forgot about that. Your Grandfather, rest his soul, gave it to me. When he got back from his trip to France. Isn't it nice?"
"MA'AM, YOU CAN NOT BRING A SWORD ON THE PLANE WITH YOU!!"
"Oh my GOD! We're going to jail! My life is over. We're going to jail, we're going to jail!!"
"It'll be OK honey, it's not sharp."
~ Finto ~
'Author's' Note: This actually happened to a friend of mine. I was not actually there, but thought I would try to re-enact it anyway. No one ended up in jail, but I'm pretty sure my friend lost a year or two off her life that day.
Here is the link to the post about the Five Minute Weekend Freewrite, put on by @mariannewest:
Day 189: 5 Minute Freewrite: Thursday - Prompt: cane
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-189-5-minute-freewrite-thursday-prompt-cane
Thanks for stopping in and viewing the first installment of the 28-Minute, Five Minute Freewrite. If you have any thoughts about airport security, Grandma surprises, going overboard on writing time limits, or anything else this post reminds you of, please feel free to comment away in the spaces below. I'd love to hear from you.
Please UPVOTE, COMMENT and FOLLOW if you enjoy my works.
And go to @ddschteinn -- There's a whole lot more...
Posted: 04/26/2018 @ 13:51
Excerpts From Late-Night Conversations With A Mechanical Cat
Fact Number 65
That was great!! :D I did not see that one coming. lol
My friend didn't see it coming either. Think she about died when they asked that question, "what is THIS". Oh dear. Glad you enjoyed the story, I should send it to my friend to read, if I can find her.
I could laugh a lot while reading this hahaha reminds me of television programs where grandmothers go to the airport and carry things they did not think they were not going to be allowed to wear hahaha once my grandmother took her in a baking bag they spent some time in the airport why hahaha
Glad you enjoyed it. Sometimes the people working at the airport have NO sense of humor. And it is easy to get into trouble. Fun that you have your own Grandma airport story. Have a nice night.
I love that!! I think I want a cane with a sword!!! I might not take it on a plane, but there are other ways to travel. My friend stopped flying when she couldn't bring her needing onto the plane :)
and don't worry about the 5 minutes - nobody else does. Well, some do. But uou do what you need to do. 😉
Who wouldn't love a hidden sword to carry around town. My friend was mortified. Thought she was a goner. All turned out OK, but sure was funny, AFTERWARDS. The airport folks don't usually have much of a sense of humor.
It's nice you are easy about the writings. I'm usually able to stay in the five minutes, sometimes with a bit of editing at the end, to make it at all readable. Using the same descriptor word three sentences in a row can be a bit boring. And poor spelling and punctuation definitely doesn't help. But sometimes, like today, the story just keeps going and going and going like that pink bunny on the TV.
I suppose the whole reason IS to create creativity, which this project certainly does. I'm so glad it's available to partake in. Keep up the great works.
Haha ... a grandma after my own heart:) That was 5 minutes well-spent:)
I pictured my own Grandma, and what she would say in the same situation. Nothing quite like Grandma speak. Glad you enjoyed the day at the airport. These are so much fun to write.
You captured grandma speak spot on:)
:) old people and new security rules for the airports...really nice and funny story about a grandmother and her grandson...
Thank you for sharing and have a nice day my friend...
Glad you enjoyed it. My friend thought she was in big trouble. But ended up OK. The joys of airline travel.
OH how I laughed. This is such an en point message of our times. I try not to think upon the police state in which we all dwell, but at airports it's impossible not to realize we are all in some sort of odd reality show prison or some such. Foolishness.
I Think we might have a can with an old sword in it. I have an umbrella stand in the hall full of old canes, one has a flash in it. I'll have to check.
Glad I could give you some mirth. It is a real trip at the airport sometimes. It makes me nervous to go through it all now and then, particularly when they get all in your face about things. And I'm not even a scofflaw...
I do think they do all that to 'nerve out' the folks up to no good. But they're GOOD at looking normal when up to shenanigans. People like me, we sweat. So it's all a bit topsy turvy, in my view.
I hope you can find your sword cane. How cool is that? Love that you have a 'brellie' stand. Those are the cat's meow. I always wanted one, but since I don't have a foyer, it doesn't really 'work'. Then again, I just missed buying the coolest antique dental chair and full setup once for my living room. So who can talk. (But it was enameled PINK! How could anyone pass THAT up).
I hope your weekend is shaping up to be a jolly good one, and if so inclined, WA has a mondo burn-pile in the floorless swimming pool. You have the COOLEST stuff...
AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA my friend. did not expect this result: D
a great story! congratulations
Thanks, glad you enjoyed the story. It was fun to re-invent it with my Grandmother's in mind.
Ahahahahah!!! I didn't saw that coming! Ok, now I want a cane sword!!
I think you should head right out and find one. Where WOULD one get a cane sword? I suppose just about everything IS available online. So forward, to the internet, credit card in-hand, and onward to being a swashbuckler with a cane.
OMG! So funny! Your poor friend.
Years ago, I was carrying a bottle of water and instead of them telling me that I couldn't take it on the plane, they made me drink all of it at once, in front of them. : )
Ha haa, thanks a lot TSA. Now I have to run off to the loo. I've seen them make you pour it all out, but not tell you to drink it all. I think they like to mess with people some times. Glad you enjoyed the story, I think my friend was pretty mortified, but in the end thought it was funny.
Hahaha I'm so glad you finished that! I love stories like this where the older generation surprises us youngsters with some kind of awesomeness. Haha...sword...haha
Thanks so much, glad you enjoyed the day out with Grandma. Though mine never had a cane with a sword, she still surprised me now and then. Mainly with a lot of humor. Thanks for the prompt. I need to figure out what to write next. Have a nice weekend.