I'm sorry you had to go through all that. It truly breaks my heart to hear and see so much suffering in the world. But it always gives me hope to see people like you able to move forward, adapt, and continue to grow.

You definitely seem far more manly than most men I know, including myself! It is always about the journey not the destination - as cliche as that is. I'm glad to hear you working towards healing.

I don't know how you feel or think about esoteric spiritualism or philosophy, view it as coincidence or something more symbolic, but I would like to point out how symbolic it was that you felt that change when you were 32. In esoteric free masonry 32 is the final degree before the illuminated degrees, meant to represent change. Specifically it is the degree (F°) in which the suns light is hot enough to melt and transform ice into water.

I'm sure you will continue to grow and overcome your past experiences. I truly believe you will come out strong.

:D