Daily Dose of Sultnpapper 06/17/18> Fathers Day in the USA… another mistake in raising our children.
I am not well traveled as in being a world traveler, so I’m not sure if other countries “celebrate” as much as we do here in the USA. It seems like we have this need to designate damn near everyday on the calendar as some special day and then find a way to market it to the masses. My guess is that it goes on in other countries as well, since a lot of countries look to the USA as an example when it comes to things like this.
First let me say, if you are in one of those countries please do your best to convince your people that following the lead of the USA can be a big mistake. I will personally back you up on that if anyone gives you any grief over it, just let me know who needs to be educated on this subject and how to get in touch with them.
One of the big problems we have here in this country is lack of respect. Most all of you have heard the saying, “respect is earned” and I totally agree with that concept. I write these Daily Dose blogs for personal reasons but also to earn the respect of the people who chose to stop and take the time to read it. My goal has always been to share the truth and sometimes the truth is a bitter pill to swallow, so if I anger some of you, my apologies in advance and please make sure to comment and maybe we can discuss things further.
Respect should be earned, and it isn’t something you can go down to the store and purchase in cans or bottles and they don’t run specials on it where you can buy it online at Amazon as far as I know. But how can you earn something that no longer, for the most part, exists? It would be like trying to buy Pterodactyl eggs at your local market today, you can find plenty of eggs of all different sizes and varieties but I would bet you won’t find Pterodactyl eggs.
In order for there to be a readily available supply of respect to be earned we need to teach our kids how to cultivate and grow respect so that it can be earned by those who deserve to be rewarded with it. To me this is where we have failed big time here in the USA, we are raising our kids in such a way that being respectful isn’t an acceptable form of behavior among their peers.
Just to give a little example of this, I wasn’t sure I knew the proper spelling of Pterodactyl so I needed to look it up. So I used my phone and asked google for the proper spelling of the word and the first thing that came up was Merriam Websters dictionary listing for Pterodactyl along with the definition and phonetic pronunciation. Directly below that listing was the listing for Urban Dictionary and it had the word, but it didn’t start with “P”, being the curios type person I am I had to see what that was all about. I didn’t want to misspell the word and have you the readers thinking less of me for that, and now I had two spellings of the same word staring me in the face.
So I clicked on the Urban Dictionary listing and the top definition came up for me to read, which believe it or not, actually strengthens my position on how we lack teaching respect. As best I can determine Urban Dictionary has their readers or users define the words and it shows the “top definition” of the word as voted by their community. So let me just share some of the highlights of “Terodactyl” as written by someone who goes by the name “In.The.AM.”
“The correct spelling for the word “Pterodactyl”. Contrary to what you may have been taught there is no silent “P” in the beginning.” The author of this definition goes on to say, (and I am quoting word for word) “Also one of the fucking coolest dinosaurs to ever live.” The next part is where In.The.AM goes on to prove me correct as to the lack of respect that we are teaching, and again this is the exact quote, so you can also look it up and see that I’m not sensationalizing this to make myself look better, “ My teacher, Mrs. Walters, got mad when I notified her that her spelling of Terodactyl was incorrect. She had placed a “P” in front of it for no apparent reason. We argued back and forth for bout 10 minutes and she insisted it was scientifically correct and the “P” was silent. I rebutted her statement by calling her a doo doo sniffing poo brained idiot and was subsequently sent out of the class and received an “F” for the semester.” , by In.The.AM. October 23, 2013.
The “definition” and story had twenty three “thumbs up” and eleven “thumbs down”, so my math tells that just slightly better than 2 to 1 the users of Urban Dictionary find this person’s behavior towards the teacher acceptable. I found it disgusting; I wonder how proud that person’s parents were when they got the call from the school that day.
I always like when I don’t have to go far to prove myself right, and I was able to do it in this case just because I was unsure of the spelling of one word. This just is one instance of anecdotal evidence, I am aware of that, but if you are living and breathing you know I am correct when I say we no longer teach children how to respect others here in the USA.
So how does this tie into where I was headed with the Fathers Day celebration in the USA today? We should respect and honor all people : fathers , mothers, sisters , brothers and anyone else you care to list EVERY DAY, not just one day out of the year that some marketing guru decided to label as “____ Day” so they can get you to run out and by some gifts and take the person out to lunch or dinner. I would much rather see just one day a year where we celebrate “jack asses day” and let the little pieces of crap like In.The.AM be themselves and make complete fools of themselves, the other 364 or 365 days I would like to see the kids respecting people who have earned and do deserve respect.
To me it is a mistake to have “special days” such as Fathers Day and Mothers Day, it is like we just want the kids to treat their parents good one day of the year, and from some of the things I have seen and stories I have heard, I think we have pretty much succeeded in accomplishing that and we have no one to blame but ourselves; the parents.
Of course this is the part where I have to tell you that my kids are different and they respect me and the Mrs. and they are perfect angels, well that isn’t going to happen. We have made some mistakes over the years with four kids but I can say we haven’t made the same mistake twice. There is a learning curve to being a parent but you have to be paying attention. We get a lot of compliments from other parents about how our children behave when we aren’t around and that is a pretty good measuring stick when you try to size up just how you’ve been doing on teaching them correctly. Words like “polite”, “courteous”, “and respectful” are often used to describe them followed by, “I wish our kids were like yours.”, makes us know that we are on the right track.
We have a lot of problems in this country and the world that could be snuffed out if we just start teaching the basics of respect and decency. Happy Fathers Day to all the fathers out there and I hope that you will be treated as well for the other 364 days of the year as you will be today. Also a special “thanks” to my Dad, rest his soul, that he knew the proper way to raise his kids. Rest in peace Dad, you did a great job while you were alive and still to this day.
Until next time,
@sultnpapper
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Well, what do you expect when we live in a world in which children are so often kept very separate from grownups and made to run off and play or be quiet or watch TV and be out of the way. How can children learn ANYTHING grownup let alone respect when they do not interact and socialize around well adjusted adults? Send them to daycare, then school, then sports, then get a job. And so many so called grownups don't truly respect children either. It really works both ways. children acquire their behavior and beliefs as they develop. This is just one of the many reasons why my wife and I practice peaceful parenting and are radical unschoolers. Thanks for another good and not so dizzying post this time!
Yes, indeed. We aren't the radical unschoolers but we home school and I won't go as far as to say we are "peaceful" parenting either because I'm not sure what all that entails. We are fair, we listen and we discuss things with the kids and they get to make input into how we do things as a family. They don't have the final say by any means and quite often they aren't happy with the determination, but they get the full reasoning behind the decision so they know that it was a thoughtful one and looking out for the best interest of all involved.
Thanks for the compliment as well.
Sounds like peaceful parenting to me! There are other factors to the modality. Perhaps I will make a post or we can discuss it in Discord.
In the USA respect is a fallacy, not just in the family but in the larger society.
We don't respect our lands, waters, or air. We are actively desecrating our means of survival as a species. We embody disrespect by eating and drinking poisonous foods. We celebrate disrespect by allowing our so called leaders to violate law and policy. We even uphold policy which violates international law and morality.
Our whole nation is built on disrespect, we continue to disrespect the original people of this land in action and deed. We utterly fail as a nation to uphold our Treaties, which are considered the Supreme Law of the Land.
Our law enforcement officers don't deserve the respect they are given, when you consider the number of rapists and murderers in the nation's police departments. Don't get me started on the numbers of thieves, liars and drug addicts in law enforcement. Our so called arbiters of justice and liberty don't respect the underlying tenants of freedom.
It's the case that we as a nation are raising a generation without respect. With that said I put responsibility squarely at our own feet for allowing our nation to become a global despot. We are not respectful to our global community.
Disrespect seems to be our number one priority as a nation.
I can't disagree with anything you have listed and it has been going on for at least the last 130 years.
Respect doesn't mean we can't question, it just means we have to be respectful with our questions. I knew there was a reason why I don't ever go to Urban Dictionary.
The possibility exists that the kid had a point. I believe that is one of those words that has grown to be acceptable either way. Not in scientific arenas, of course, where precision of description counts, but in popular literature and articles. I certainly know I have seen it written both ways.
Anyway, the kid got a much deserved date with Mr. Umpire (You're OUT of here.") He didn't get a thing of value out of the whole exchange, when he could have gotten some scientific knowledge AND a lesson in the proper way to respect and treat your superiors. Even McDonalds fry cookers have a supervisor to answer to...
Special days. I really don't care one way or another. I'd call my Dad if I thought there was a snowball's prayer that he'd pick up. Just to tell him that I know we had our moments, but I respect his dedication and care.
I think you and everyone else who knows me knows that I am a proponent of asking questions, I strongly encourage it because of the way things have been recorded in history and passed along to us. By his own words he wasn't asking questions he "notified her" and he seemed to be hell bent on just being a jerk with the teacher with the calling her a "doo doo sniffing poo brain idiot". To you and me he got nothing of value out of the exchange but we don't think like these kids do, he got a top spot in the Urban Dictionary so I'm pretty sure in his mind he is "somebody" now. I am real sure that you won't be seeing me cite the Urban Dictionary very often in the future, I think this was all I needed as being a first experience with that source of "information."
I just thought of a way that we could cure cancer really quickly and it makes perfect sense. We have struggled and spent millions if not billions of dollars on research and medicines to fight it and get rid of it and all we really needed to do was change the name from cancer to "respect" and we would probably never see another case of it again. Sometimes I am a damn genius when it comes to things.
Make the call, there will come a day that you won't have that choice, even if he doesn't pick up you at least made the effort and for that you won't ever question yourself over it. If he does answer you can tell him you do , "respect his dedication and care".
I'm pretty sure he won't pick up. He's been gone for better than 10 years and I'm pretty sure he didn't take his phone. I have not always done the right thing, or even the good thing. but one of the things I did right was hang with my dad to the end. My mom too, for that matter.
Happy Father's Day, @sultnpapper. It is the fault of the parents and our society that children don't have respect for anything. For example, in the country, Mother's day is a national holiday held o May 30th every year. A big commercial splash. Father's day is sort of a none event held on the 23rd of June. No national holiday. Not much commercial advertising. No fanfare. When I first came to live here, I asked why. I was told because fathers are not important because too many are abusive and deadbeat dads. Say what?
To me, Fathers day, Mothers day and any other holiday they would like to throw in there, should be something you celebrate every day. Honour your parents and respect them 365 days a year. Not just one random day someone said that was the day to show your love and respect.
It would seem that every country in the world is suffering from similar problems. Lack of respect. It is a problem beginning at home and ending with governments who show no respect for each other or the country and people they represent.
You are so correct about respect starting at home, and as a society we have let "home" decline in a very big way. I have always said that we reap what we sow and the seeds of respect have quit being planted years ago. There is no need in me telling you that as you are in the middle of a civil unrest in your country right now and it has been a long time in the making from my understanding.
I don't think that story on Urban Dictionary was true at all. It's like those chan greentexts, people just write them to get upvotes and 'recognition' in those communities. You're right though that some people really do have a lack of basic respect/courtesy for other people.
I don't know the ins and outs of this internet stuff, I have no idea what a "chan greentexts" are but I could easily believe the story In.The.AM told simply because I know several teachers and former teachers who have had similar types of "discussions" with students that have ended up with the teachers being cussed out and even threatened with physical violence.
It is amazing how many parents now a days even let their kids disrespect themselves. I spend a lot of time in hotels and restaurants because I travel for work and I see plenty of it in those places.
Oh I can definitely see it happen in real life, that's true. I'm just very skeptical of anything I read on the internet, especially on Urban Dictionary :)
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Well, I have been snake bit before but I can't say that I have ever been "Snekked" before now so thank you very much. Glad that you enjoyed this post and thanks for the kind words about the Daily Dose I write.
You're not the only one to notice this.
https://steemit.com/steemiteducation/@arbitrarykitten/where-has-all-the-conscience-gone
Thanks for that link, normally I read AK's stuff but I missed that one.
We do have fathers day in Germany as well, but it really lives in the shadow of mothers day. Sometimes, it goes by completely unnoticed.
Ours has been a couple weeks back I think. I wonder how this difference ever came to existence.
Fathers Day is nowhere near as big as Mothers Day here either, but it doesn't go unnoticed by any sense of the imagination. All the major retailers hold "Fathers Day" sales leading up to it, if you are in need of tools it is a good time to purchase them though.
Fathers day sales are pretty rare over here.
I do agree on many of yout thought sin this post, Especially that Respect should be earned and not a right of position.
Secondly there are so many days of special things that to me it just gets ridiculous, and I think from my travels that is more prevalent here than any where else in the world
And lastly I generally do not follow or do anything on any of these days such as Valentines, Mothers Father Secretary, Office worker, etc etc days, I agree if you want to respect any of those people do it every day not justy a token effort on one particular day or as I call them Hall Mark Holidays
Yes, I've done a few Daily Doses on some of the "special day" that I have come across. I have heard the days that you mentioned referred to Hall Mark Holidays before, greeting card manufacturers are the big winners along with the florists when it comes to these for sure.
Aretha Franklin had a hit song back in the '60's named "Respect" maybe the radio stations could dig that old piece of vinyl out and digitally copy it and revive it, yes, that would be a good thing but it will never happen.
Thats a great song indeed and listening to it right now ;)
Much respect is due to you for your conscientious attitude, and I hope your family realizes what a treasure they have. 💙
Thanks Kitty, I have said it plenty of times , we reap what we sow as a society and we have stop planting the seeds of respect years ago.
Treasure is a subjective term, I learned long ago that one man's trash can be another man's treasure. Thanks for allowing me to earn your respect.