I Tawt I Taw a Golden Bot [True Story] - Comedy Open Mic Round 5

It was a Wednesday, no a Thursday, I think, all was good in the world, as good as can be expected in a world run by a species built for destruction and self-gratification - I write as I smoke my umpteenth cigarette.

_{I have taken the liberty of hiding said posts identity as this is not about them. A person does not have control of where your muses will come from. ^{Sometimes I miss parts when blurring things out, or is that blurting.}
This image is so you have a chance to turn back now, close the tab and just move on with your life. I warned you.}

Yes, all was right in the world, I have been a good boy and only resteemed about 10 posts since my last post which so happen to also be my second post in 1 week, I was on a roll I have made it, blogger extraordinaire. So I cruised down my feed avoiding clicking the tags on the left as I do, reminding myself that this is not a porn site and trending will not bring you any joy - it makes sense that porn sites have better trending pages than social media, since the first does not require them to think.

Fully aware that my feed is a little safe zone bubble I live in I continue to do so in the hopes that someone else went into the darkness to resteem a gem they found, being too lazy to go to discord and see what is being promoted this is my only recourse at the time - so I scroll until I reach a point I have reached before, 1min or so, I scrolled quite slowly.

That was it, I have reached the border and on the other side was only the darkness, you could make out some feint lights and maybe hear a gurgling sound every now and then, posts fading into oblivion, smothered by the bots and me - I thought I killed that one, it was as good as though my hands were on its throat, lucky I lack the empathy required to mourn for more than a second, a split second when applied to humans.

I am not a monster I do reflect and so I did, I just did not feel sad doing it, I went into the darkness to explore it, get to know it, the global trending page first battle zone #life, I am not even going to fuck with you here, it was hell those first few steps absolute unlubricated splintered broomstick up your arse hell - I saw adsactly, some guy with a guitar, a picture of a faded flower, a motorcycle and an orange car, some crypto and anything else I do not remember, I was attacked.

After I helped the pissface that walked into the shop, I returned to trending, I cycled through the others also, new - well ain't nobody got time for that, hot - maybe but by the time you do find something it is because the posts surrounding it are so shit that it looks good - fat friend effect, promoted - WTF.

So since I am on busy.org and not steemit because - like you give a shit - I start checking who voted, this stuff is so popular people are eating it up, balls and all, and you can guess that apart from some really inspiring posts, this is bot country , no wonder it is darkness everywhere you turn, bots don't need light and those gurgling sounds from earlier , well that is just the sound of posts being transformed, cyberposts if you will.

You waited for this, the title says something that indicated this and now it is here. Don't shit yourself.

I was going to transform not fully maybe just a metal leg or arm, maybe a metal penis for endurance, and who doesn't enjoy the cold touch of steel, if the crusades taught us anything, people love the cold touch of steel.

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I have two posts I made not yet paid out since I am a blogger extraordinaire they would be the perfect candidates for some bot love, not a lot since on steemit I am as poor as in real life, funny how that works. Anyway to recap:

• I stepped off the yellow brick road
• I explored things that are supposedly about life but turns out it was all a lie
• I decided that I should probably find out if the grass is greener covered in metal
• oh and steemit was pretty much down unless you were on staging. So bidding was going slow

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Enter postpromoter, and I am not stupid the thing says BID so I wait and I watch time is almost run its course, 5min, 4min, 3min and the return on the lowest bid would be x20 , 4sbd becomes $80 this was amazing

I had my transaction windows loaded and ready to go, only the bot name and key required, 2min, 1min - I waited I was not going to be sniped by some fuckface like @gobangkok or any of the other names I noticed - 55sec - GO GO GO , put pospromoter, SUBMIT, fuckit, copy key , login , submit.

Wait wait Checking the bid details , I don't see my name

WTF

Wait

Nothing, I leave it, maybe they can't vote, maybe I am in the list and will get my share, but I did not, I got bumped to the next round when all the pansies could bid also and even worse did not just get told

"Hey sorry we missed your bid, take your shitty SBD back"

I thought I saw a golden bot, turns out it was just a dried out turd in a sunrise.

I sulked, and did what everyone does on a rebound, fuck the ugly friend, and got banfield to vote on my posts.

Thank you to @take5 for allowing my entry, although I did not know it was an entry type situation they were kind enough to point me to the RULES and because I am such a good boy I will strive to follow all the rules I have not broken yet :)

Nominate 2 others that I believe would enjoy and make a great entry.

Please see rules above for your entries and I hope you join in since I think you would write something great

1. @spunkpuppet
2. @king-wenceslaus
3. @jan23com