Judgment: Tool, Weapon or Both?

In the circle of life, we are all seeing one another as reflections of self. We may like what we see or detest it. We may feel attracted or repulsed, wanting to become more like someone we emulate or distancing ourselves from behaviors we witness.

We experience many emotions as we live in relationship with one another and this gamut makes up the human experience.

This week's @EcoTrain Question of the Week asks us:

Why do you think most people judge each other?

Is there value in it, does it help?

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Why do we judge each other?

There are so many ways to live our lives while we're here on earth. The human experience is vast and there are so many options for behaviors, professions, lifestyles, actions, habits, patterns and ways of being. As we grow up, we take a bit of this, a bit of that... kind of like making a soup, in order to create (consciously or unconsciously) the actions, habits and characteristics which make up our lives.

Judgement is an important part of this process. At its core, I believe judgement isn't inherently a negative propensity. Out of the chaos, we ascertain that which we want to become. Out of the formless void of possibility, we must make a decision, which at the root means "to cut."

This cutting is a form of judgement and we start to exercise this human activity from when we are very young. We judge foods, clothing, activities, friends, adults, television shows and books and much more. This all comes together to create our personalities.

And, truth be told, we never stop judging as long as we live. At core, judgement is simply this process of choice - it is a form of assessment that is necessary to choose a peculiar something out of everything.

 

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But, when asked this question, I think it is hinting at the form of judgement which does carry negative connotations and that is the form of judgment which "sticks its nose up" or "looks down upon something or someone."

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This, too, is a form of assessment, but it is usually done to make the one who judges feel better about themselves.

We judge others to make ourselves better than them or to dismiss them. This, too, is a way to choose something particular out of all of the ways we can be, and as I mentioned earlier, it is also a way to shape our personalities.

When we "stick our noses up at someone", we're essentially saying, I am not like you. It can end there and we have nothing to do with that person or "that type of person" (the birth of the stereotype) or we can actively disdain others which can lead to dismissal or, in the extreme, violence.

This activity of Distinction can be harmless or harmful, as mentioned above, and I truly believe it is in human nature to create groups and communities that are like us. We naturally gravitate toward those with whom we have an affinity and don't spend our time with those who are too different than us.

I know in my own life that this true. I like to surround myself with people I want to learn from, those whom I enjoy or want to become more like. I assess the positive characteristics of people and choose to spend more time with them. This is the positive form of judgement. I also assess others, the subtle dance that happens when we first meet someone or hang out with them over a period of time, and choose whether I like them or not. This is natural and everyone does it. Yet, next the question takes us a step further and asks,

Is there value in it, does it help?

I think in the positive sense mentioned above, yes it helps. We have the opportunity to surround ourselves with people we want to become more like, who will encourage us to become the best versions of ourselves. This is definitely positive.

However, there is a darker side to judgement and we are now seeing it all throughout the United States, in particular, and around the world throughout time.

This is the form of judgement that already has a formulation of someone before they even meet them. We see it writ large in the Trump era as dangerous polarization takes over our country. The airwaves are very much filled with an us vs them mentality and this breeds contempt, disparity and, at worse, violence.

To have contempt for someone or to judge them "so far from yourself" that you cannot see them as another human being with "anything right about them" is the dark side of judgment. It separates and dismisses "the other", that stranger who is an unknown, or worse, characterized stereotype that rarely exists in real life.

I don't think this style of judgement helps or has value. It is the age old division of people groups, sects, classes, race wars, gender stereotyping, etc that is as old as humanity. It pits family against one another, separates us into Liberals or Conservatives, Sunnis or Shiites, Israelites or Palestinians, Germans or Jews, the Haves or Have Nots, CEOs and Welfare Queens, hippies and squares, etc and makes us dehumanize, discount and even kill the other side.

And you know what? The truth is that in these dichotomies we all lose. We lose because when we full scale judge "the other" we see them without any redeeming qualities and the truth is that we are all humans doing our best.

 

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I cannot profess to understand why Trumpers are still on board with this crazy destructive bandwagon, but, as my own father is one, I don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. The reality may be more complex and difficult than a simplified world pitting us vs them. In this way, we could all do with a good dose of curiosity. Wait it out. Greet "the other" with an open mind, listen, and assess. Perhaps the person's rhetoric is still hateful, weird or damaging, but at least you gave them a chance without judging them into oblivion.

At base, judgement is a natural, innate human tendency. At times it even keeps us safe! Indeed, it helps us form our personalities and sculpt the actions which create our lives, yet we would do well to cultivate an open mind throughout our lives and not get set in our ways lest judgment calcify, isolate and further polarize our world which is very much in need of unity.

 

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What do you think? Share your thoughts around this QOTW below.

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Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://www.ozarkmountainjewel.com/2018/11/09/judgment/

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