Daily Patriot exclusive! @exyle in exile...part 2. Including photo's from @tarazkp! (as he fell from a flying saucer).

This is the second part of a Daily Patriot exclusive concerning the disappearance of fellow Steemian, @exyle.

Part 1 here

We talked to Detective inspector, Douwe Egberts about the circumstances surrounding @exyle 's strange behaviour over this last few days.

He issued a statement of events so far:

"After Mr @exyle departed his apartment, (after his 80's choir episode), he then proceeded to a shell gas station.

At the station, he seemed in a very irritable mood. ('Doing choir' to Madonna it enough to annoy anyone).

He then got into an altercation with the shell garage staff member, concerning plant food.

The member of staff, who openly advocates the starving of all plants on the planet earth, and actively promotes and encourages others to join her, in the globalist herbo-genocide campaign.

It appears that @exyle had a problem with this.
His conflict with the kiosk girl, must have only exacerbated what can only be described as, 'a very shitty day'.

Ms Monsanto van Bayer, the staff member in the station, said to the detectives 'that @exyle flew into rage when she offered the chance to join in the plant cull', reporting that he stormed off to the junk food aisle muttering
'just because you have all the power, doesn't mean that I have to agree.'

(We are assuming at this point time, that his reference to 'having all the power', was MS Monsanto van Bayers ability, as a shell kiosk employee, to be able to turn the gas pumps 'on' and 'off', at will).

He then went on to purchase massive quantities of fast food items. Over 23 bags of Cheetos, and 15 of those strange pizza slice things that you get in a cardboard sleeve, and then you warm them up in the onsite microwave.

They then emerge hotter than the center of the sun, - while refusing to be anything but 'very floppy'.

Such were the quantities that he'd puchased, that it seemed a certainty that very violent flatulence was almost a guarantee.
(to protect other crap food manufacturers, we've have omitted other 'food' products that he bought).

Upon leaving the Shell station, he was then seen to be getting into a tractor, muttering something to himself that sounded to passer by's as, 'plants need food to, you fuckin' idiots '.

His wife confirmed the chain of events, and also gave some background leading up to this breakdown.

Bianca Exyle, stated " ...After he'd stopped 'doing some choir', he telephoned me to say that he needed to go and fill up with copious amounts of gas.

I thought it was a very strange thing to say at the time, to say the least - We only own one electric car."
She went onto to say that He told her that he'd also bought a tractor.

"I really started to get worried about him, then," Said Bianca "Not only does a tractor pollute the environment, but I just couldn't work out why our two square meters of soil, would warrant such a purchase."
She added, "...And how the hell would he get the tractor up three flights of stairs to our apartment? Just to plough nine plant pots?"
She'd been worried about him over this last few days. "His behavior had changed", She said to The Daily Patriot (and to anyone else that was listening, but that's not important right now).

...."We went babysitting to his sisters the other day," She said, " And all he talked about was how the baby would support some goal posts, or something."
"It made no sense to me." Bianca said "The baby can't even walk yet , so getting him to go out and try to construct some leisure activity based structures just seemed, like, you know... weird "

With tears in her eyes, she went on to mention that it was then that he'd first started to talk about tractors.

His sister, and her baby live in a wagon and she told us that he'd gotten quite angry about it.
He said they deserved a tractor.

According to Bianca, He then gave the baby a bottle, Kronenburg 1664, and then 'went ballistic' when the baby refused to drink anymore, and went off to sleep.

"The baby had obviously had enough, and was quite intoxicated." She said, "He gurgled that he loved me, squeezed my tit, and then off he went....

.... to the kitchen, to make up some fresh coffee, muttering 'I'll wake the little bugger up, with some caffeine'. "

Back to the events of the day...

According to Douwe Egberts, after @exyle drove off in his tractor, he then headed in the direction of the airport.

As circumstances would have it, on the same day another thousand tractors also headed to the airport.
There was a very large delivery of cannabis from Pakistan that same day, apparently - and they needed all the trailers they could get.

The tractor drivers in the convoy on the way to the airport had reported 'smells that we downright unnatural were on the wind"
One farmer said to us "We're well used to the smell of crap, but this was something else altogether"

It seems that the Cheeto's and floppy pizza slices were now starting to taking effect...

It's believed at this point in time that KLM airlines were not aware of either @exyle's mental,or gastrointestinal, state.
After boarding the plane @exyle must have used the on board toilets facilities when in decent, coming into London.

As luck would have it, @tarazkp was available to capture the moment.

@tarazkp was just finishing his decent from his ejection of the alien spacecraft, from last week.
(you'll have to check out the post, for it that to make any sense...)

It was week long decent, because Aliens live very high up, and it takes a week to come down....which was very lucky for us.

Just before @tarazkp went 'bump', he manged to take out his mobile phone and capture some video of the

'@exyle EMP', moment.

Forensic EMP specialists say that after studying the footage, they came to the following conclusions:

"That it looks like a classic case. First there are a couple of minor atmospheric flatulence disturbances, (MAFD's), followed by the one main, massive, EMP pulse."

They went on to say, "It appears that multiple bags of Cheeto's and 'floppy pizza that's hotter than the sun', seems to have created the necessary conditions to make the ultimate EMP's weapon. It's truly devastating,"

Four seconds after the final EMP pulse, the UK mobile network, went dark....

It's reported that @exyle left the airport terminal looking very relaxed about the whole affair, muttering, "God, I feel better for that."

We are still looking for his whereabouts to discover what exactly was it, that he was referring to?_

What it merely the innocent expelling of gas? Or was it something more?

An intentional terrorist attack, carried out by a plant food activist?,

Was it all designed to bring a country to it's knees?

We'll find out, in Part 3.....maybe.

We are asking for your help, to allow us continue to do, what we do.

Please consider supporting us by emptying your crypto wallets, and giving it all to us.

For a cheap free press to flourish, it needs the help and support from like minded people, who wish for the same freedom of expression, that we do.

Please note, this piece started as a one page report.

The extra staff we had to hire to expand the report, means that we are now skint.

(One of our reporters has even had to give blow jobs for money, just to get the fare for train ticket, back from Holland.

Why she didn't jump on the train first , and then just offer it up to the ticket inspector, is beyond us. She will be reprimanded when she gets back, for not thinking on her feet, and just relying on her mouth).

All donations are greatly appreciated.

(and if you'e expecting a part 3, they're bloody mandatory)