WEB LOG // Cause of Absence?

in blog •  7 months ago


Some of the cutest members of my follower base have noticed that I have been absent over a month and may have figured why so. I am hoping to dive into Steemit again (I don't know when) so therefore I am just trying to open up this silence with a little update post about what happened, what is going on and what will happen (be noted that I am not a prophet though, so anything I say could happen, may not).

Reasons (that lead me to this point):

  • daily streaming
  • overworking
  • loss of motivation
  • steem price drop
  • personal life

Explaining the reasons (that lead me to this point):

"Summer is usually the time where I don't tend to play so much"

I've always felt the need to take a pause from gaming a few times a year. I usually game something daily, but there are periods where I don't want to touch any of the games for months. Summer is usually the time where I don't tend to play so much and 1-2 months during winter as well. Daily streaming/gaming since September '17 until June '18 (streaming from February '18) was quite the long period to tire me off and give me a need for a little vacation.

I joined the DLive Team at February '18 if I remember correctly and it has been a wonderful journey ever since. It was amazing to be part of the growing streaming website and community. Whenever I get excited about something I want to contribute every second I have to this thing. DLive was one of those things. Whenever I had a free moment on my full-time job, I thought about DLive and wanted to do things for DLive (and I did). I remember spending majority of my work time on DLive instead doing what I actually have to do to get paid (lol). Whenever I got home from work, I went to my home PC to, again, be present on DLive and that until I went to sleep.

"I have been in so much stress"

Basically I had a really small amount of personal life during a few months and I pushed myself to the limits. Plus all the hard times that my full-time job has given me over the last year. Anyone who knows me or about my work, knows that I have been in so much stress about it and to be honest, I don't feel like it's going away yet, so this part will still continue.

"I felt like I was stuck somewhere"

Loss of motivation came together with Steem price drop I assume. As I just told, I worked hard on that extra money that the sweet Steemit world (and DLive!) was offering me. I remember seeing my account value at 15K at some point. I haven't powered down any of that Steem and even if the Power has always been growing, the account value has decreased to 4K. If I push myself over the limits all the time for something just to see that the value of what I do, is decreasing, not increasing, then I am the kind of person who losts belief, motivation and everything related. I felt like I was stuck somewhere. Giving away all my free time, all my energy just to see everything going down too hard.

"It felt like crawling out of a dark cell"

This is where, finally, personal life kicked in. After the long period of gaming and being hyped about Steemit and DLive, I suddenly discovered that there is this thing called personal life. There is nature outside the windows, relatives, friends, hangouts, walking, swimming, sunbathing, the sea, the beach, summer festivals and whatsoever. I mean.. my personal life isn't damaged or anything and there aint anything serious going on, but it felt like crawling out of a dark cell or something. There is so much that the world offers.

Possibility of comeback?

Sure! Even though I have a period of doubt about Steemit, I still, deep inside, believe that Steemit is an amazing platform with so many opportunities. It will just take time (and maybe quite a lot of it) until it gets pumped up again and everything works out.

Not giving any promises here, but I hope to get back on my Steemit horse saddle in the start of September with a fresh energy and a clearer head. I hope to bring back the long-promised blog posts, still do the streams (therefore find a nice balance between them), work for DLive and keep being a proud Steemit user and someone that at least someone can look up to.

Well... that's a lot of things, lol. Anyway I need to find the balance on making all of this work without burning myself out again. :)

Comment below:

Have you ever gone through something similar? Burned yourself out?


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Take a break Kass, you are the best.


Omggggg <3


You are a wonderful blogger, gamer and your personal life will be alright. About that motivation i wanted to say that you def. motivated me with your honest and pure blogpost.

My story includes burning out yes :) Well'be fine https://steemit.com/introduceyouself/@alan-durier/very-nice-to-meet-you-my-steemit-account-is-now-activated

Much love!

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Do what you have to do to feel refreshed and excited again!

Hope to see you soon!

Woow it's hot

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