Creative Confession: I am a Force-sensitive person with imaginary friends

After ten years of writing and publishing, I don’t dare to call myself a writer. And when I see how people around me easily do that – I doubt I ever will. Now don’t get me wrong. If you think that a couple of published short stories and even one or two novels qualify you for that, then I don’t mind.

Only one thing is certain. Before you decided to take this glorious title, you heard the call. You felt the indescribable urge to write your ideas and discover new worlds that will shape the future of modern literature. As every untrained Force user, you started to ride on the emotions triggered by the unbounded power of creation.

And boy, there were so many words, sentences, paragraphs, chapters...

But Force can kill you. Did you know that?

This is a story about my fall on the Dark side of creativity.

In the beginning was the Word – says one of the most popular bestsellers. And then, another one came. I won’t do the math, but after several thousand words my first story was accepted and published in the collection along with some of the well-known Serbian SF/H writers. My head was in clouds. I decided that I won’t waste my time and I wrote one more. It was rejected.

But I didn’t learn anything from that. Years have passed, and I continue to write with mixed success. For me, the act of writing is a deep individual process that I like to take alone. Well, almost alone. You can usually choose your imaginary friends (instead of rare cases of demonic possession), and my companions represent two sides of my inner creative voice. For the purpose of this article, let’s call them Hidden-Write Wannabe and Darth Rush.

And here we are in 2011, sitting and discussing our potential for the very first standalone collection of short stories.

Me: Should I write ten or more stories in two months, so I can publish the collection before the Belgrade Book Fair?

Hidden-Write Wannabe: Beware my child. You are not prepared for that battle. Wait and learn, you will know when you are ready.

Darth Rush: Skill is a lie. There is only writing. Through writing, you gain fame. Trough fame you gain money. Trough money you get laid. OK?

Wohoooo…OK man!

So it happened. My book received mixed reviews, and it wasn’t so bad at all. Serbian fandom started to recognize me, I was still miles away from success but it was OK.

And once again - I didn’t learn anything from that.

Source

Instead of improving my position in the domestic market, I decided it was a time for an international carrier. I am not a native English speaker (as you can notice), so I had to find a way to translate my story with a limited budget.

Hidden-Write Wannabe: Don’t lie…

Ok. Without any budget.

Darth Rush: What’s a big deal? Ask some of your friends…

Me: But I don’t have professional translators among my friends

Darth Rush: Oh come on. Anyone can help you with that…trough translation you gain…

Ok man. You won!

And it happened again. One of my friends was kind enough to do the work for me, and it was a good piece. Actually, the translation wasn’t a problem at all. It was my story. It was a well-received story in Serbia, but it was too much local to be recognized and accepted in the international market. So, after it hit Amazon bookstore I received one of the first comments

I didn’t like two stars. I wanted more. And my friends proposed the solutions.

Hidden-Write Wannabe: Let it go. Respect your reviewer and learn from the mistake.

Darth Rush: Learning is a lie. Call Stormtroopers!

And I fell on the dark side again. I alarmed my friends and got my stars. But it didn’t help me at all. A bad story is a bad story. You should never fake reviews because you can’t trick your audience – you will only screw yourself.

Now I would lie if I tell you that this was the moment of my awakening. Actually, that happened when I saw my Goodreads score and realized that I seriously broke my future chances because I choose to follow my Sith companion. I had a dozen of published and well-received stories on Serbian market, but I decided to rush and skip some important steps. While I was focused on recycling and publishing the old materials I completely stop to write new things.

I thought I know how to use the Force, but it almost killed me.

So why am I writing this? I want to give you a few simple advices that you probably won’t follow. But anyway, here they are:

• The act of writing is important, but so is an act of publishing. Find the editor or beta reader. If they tell you that your work isn’t good enough, there is a chance that they have right. And don’t forget – if you have a feeling that you shouldn’t publish something – then you probably shouldn’t (most writers have a great intuition).

• Don’t write more than you can take. You can’t become Jedi overnight. Even the Song of Ice and Fire has started as a short story. Try to master this technique before you move to your epic fantasy saga. It is harder than it looks.

• If you translate – do it well, or don’t do it at all. Only one wrong word can start the war, and poor translation can be your way to the Dark Oblivion.

• And above all – don’t hesitate to kill your ideas if you feel they are bad. If you don’t do it – your readers will. And that is the worst scenario.

Dear Steemians, thank you for reading this. Since I started my light side path I learned to enjoy the whole process without thinking about its outcome (more than it is normal, of course). I would love to see your comments and I will continue to share many different stories about other mistakes (and a few good things) that I did in my so-called career.

Good luck and May the Steem be with you!

Image sources:

Lightsaber cover image and lightsaber separators: www.pixabay.com

Screenshots: Taken from my Amazon and Goodreads page, and edited after that.