Men Are Being Forced To Pay Child Support On Children That Are Not Biologically Their Own
Men Are Being Forced To Pay Child Support On Children That Are Not Biologically Their Own
In recent years, I found out that in the state of Indiana men are forced to continue to pay child support on kids that are not their own. It happens because they were married to the child's mother, believed the child was theirs biologically and did not contest paternity at the time of the divorce.
The way I look at it is the mother gets a reward for cheating and deceiving a man into thinking he is her child's father. Meantime, her ex husband not only has to deal with the fact the kid is not his biological child but he is forced to help her to support that child, until it is at least 18, without a choice in the matter.
I personally think this is done to keep the mothers from collecting Walfare for the said child. The state hides behind "it is in the best interests of the child" while making sure someone else foots the bill.
I can not find a specific law that states this but I did find the quoted information below on this site: Disproving Paternity in Indiana
"In the court’s eyes, Father had an opportunity to confirm his paternity when the case was established, and declined to do so. It’s a harsh form of “you snooze, you lose."
Since the above is the case, I think paternity testing should be mandatory at the time of a divorce. Of course, if they did that, they could not stick a man with supporting a child that is not biologically his own.
That said, I hope the man, in a situation like this, would want to continue to be part of that child's life and not let the child go without anything it needs. I just don't feel he should be forced by law to help the mother support the child when she cheated on and deceived him.
I do not believe in letting a person who is in the wrong off the hook while making an innocent person pay the price.
I know there is an innocent child involved in all of this but my opinion is that it should be up to the mother to go after the real father. The mother alone is the one who put her child in this predicament.
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This is actually pretty common all around the US. I have a friend who lives in California. He slept with a girl, she got pregnant, she told him it was his and he believed it till the child was about 2 months old. The girl started pushing him away to get back with an ex who we later found out was the guy who she cheated on him with and the baby really belonged to. Simply because he had signed the birth certificate he got stuck with the responsibility. The child is now 6 and is well taken care of by his mom and real father... yet every paycheck he loses a few hundred. Apparently he lost his only chance to contest a few years back when a letter was sent to an old address telling him he had so many days to do so... a letter he didn’t get and now forever Hunts him.
As a women I should probably not say anything but honestly faithfulness and loyalty is at a all time low. Women should have paternity test at the hospital when giving birth...
And as for men... I’ll just pray they start being more faithful to thier women as well.
It's a shame that has happened to your friend. It's also one of the worse cases because the child doesn't even need the support. If the real father and mother were worth anything, they would give your friend back his support payments.
I agree faithfulness and loyalty are low and it does happen on both sides of the fence.
"In the best interest of the children" is always the court go to line..Good and bad by all meansof that one line.
Your idea that the government is doing it to keep the mother off welfare could be right on the nose, since that's a ridiculous law to make the men pay for children that were not his own, while the real father is free..
The worse part is, they don't shift the responsibility if the real father is found.
wow yea I look at it the same way that the mother gets a reward for cheating and deceiving. You're right.
It would be great if the man wants to do it but he shouldn't be forced to.
Thanks. It's a real shame this came to be what is done.
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It has never been fair the way government runs the system. I agree with you that those responsible will provide for the child. If only supposed parents should be required to provide insurance or something for their future kid/s before having one. It should be mandated that they should have a certain amount per kid they plan to have to cover expenses and such should they plan to abandon them. However, life is priceless. I don't know. There should be something to make them really decide if they want a child or not.
I can see where you are coming from but I'm not sure I'd like for the government to have that much say. If I had waited until I could afford kids, I may have never had them. lol
Once a child is created though, the biological parents should be the ones held responsible for sure. I've known plenty of dead beat parents over my lifetime. Sometimes you just have to shake your head and wonder why they chose to have kids to start with.
Lol! The government doesn't know what it is doing and base things on the law rather than what is obvious. They take kids from parents because they can't support them but it was the government who made them like that by taking away jobs from them without giving them substitute or chance to work. On the other hand, they allow addicts to keep their kids because they have been rehabilitated and relies mainly on support from the government or organizations.
I've seen that too.
Indiana has always been a mothers state.
It certainly is.
Great edit on the photo Deb. You made a good point.
It’s a no-win situation when the welfare of children are put in the middle.
Thanks. I hated to use one of my kids for this post but I wanted to own the one I used. My heart does bleed for the children involved in these situations.
I have so much to say on this but I’m going hold my tongue on that since they are not my stories to tell. I’ve seen a few friends get raked over coals in court and had to pay child support to kids that were not theirs along with things like alimony. Even when the true father was known and was just free to go because that person was a lowlife that made next to no money.
Society has quite many issues even more so these days with peoples lack of moral compass, laziness and not being faithful to people. Along with someone needing to be blamed and named so bills are paid. I’m just glad I’ve never been in situations like these. Court tends to be rather unfavorable to men. Even more so when someone is forced to pay child support and not even allowed to have visiting rights to the kid. I’ve known a friend who had tossed away many years’ worth of paychecks just trying to get his kids away from psychopath they ended up with and no successes to come of it.
Granted there are also quite a number of ways for men to get out of paying their fair amount in child support and other things as well. So it’s not like it’s a one-way street either.
It’s just sad when kids land with people using them as a meal ticket. People who want the kids don’t even get visitation rights let alone full custody even after blowing insane amounts in the courts. Even worse the kids end up in a home that does not care about them being brainwashed there father is dead and was a deadbeat.
I had a friend who found out a couple years back not only was her dad, not a deadbeat dad but the mother more than likely spent most of the money she was getting out of him on drugs and other things (they lived rather poor because “he never sent money”.) Her mother passed away and while cleaning out the place found bank statements and court cases where the poor guy tried so many before giving up when she was only a couple of years old to get her back. That just one of the so many sad stories I’ve come to know.
I’m just blessed I never had issues like that in my life. I can’t imagine finding out such a thing and what that does to a person.
The cases where the real father is known and not made to be the responsible one are really sad. Once the real father is found there should be 100% no issues with making him pay for his own child/children.
It's also extra bad when any parent drags a child in on the drama. Like in the case you mentioned where the child is told the father is a dead beat and kept from him.
I also feel badly for the fathers who do not know they have a child. I am sure in many cases they are not informed. In those cases both the real father and the child miss out.
I know it's not a one-way street. I had a father who refused to pay child support, except for when they arrested him and put him on work release until he paid. Even then, he only paid or kept the job until he got out of jail.
Many states will do similar, and I agree that paternity should be established. It's a shame for men. They have no say on many counts. Many men are good men & support children not of their blood, but many are left scott free and always children are the casualties. :(
I did notice when looking it up that other states do this as well. It's a shame really. Mandatory testing would solve the issue though. I do feel badly for the kids, they didn't ask for any of it either.
Love the photo! I am always concerned when children are involved. Having said that I would agree that it is an unfair system where a man is forced to pay for a child that is not his. Governments are not fair and usually pass laws for the sole benefit of the government. If they don't need to welfare for a child, so much the better. I can only imagine what a child must feel like growing up knowing that the man who is paying for him/her is not their father. Talk about rejection, by both the biological father and the man paying...
Thank you. I know what you mean, I have concern for the child as well. But I agree, it would be hard growing up with that kind of rejection and bitterness from a man who was forced to support you.
My mom got next to no help from my dad. When he did pay support, he let me know he had to. I actually heard about it well into my adulthood. I know how that made me feel. I can only imagine how it would have felt had he not been my father.
Knowing he was my dad was the only reason I knew I had a right to be mad at him for being upset that he had to pay it.