The Creepiest Story to Get Your Kids to Sleep

The Boogersquawkin is the scariest, stinkiest, ugliest monsters that you will ever know, and you DO NOT want to meet the Boogersquawkin. I mean it.
The Boogersquawkin has the biggest, most crookedest, most stinky teeth that are in the stinkiest, slobberiest, slimiest mouth. You know the Boogersquawkin is near because you can smell it. YUCK!
Don’t laugh, this isn’t a silly story. The Boogersquawkin lives on a faaaaar-away planet, called Planet Booger-La. It is called that because that is where all the Boogersquackins live and they all eat BOOGERS. I warned you. Go to sleep and you won’t have to know the rest...
Fine, I warned you.
The Boogersquawkin flies to earth every night looking for kids that are awake. You know why? I don’t know if I should tell you, but you aren’t going to sleep, so you really ought to know what you are in for... The Boogersquawkin comes to earth to find kids and... and... and...
The Boogersquawkin puts them to work! Yes. The Boogersquawkin will make you do alllll the dishes. In the whole world. All of them. Annnnnnnnd...
The Boogersquawkin will make you clean all the toilets in the world. With a toothbrush! I told you it was horrible. You don’t even know the worst part. Hurry up and go to sleep and you will never have to know...
Your eyes are still open.
Okay, I am going to tell you the most terriblest, most horriblest, most AWFULESTEST part.
If the Boogersquawkin sees how much of a good worker you are... No, I can’t say it. Oh, dear.
If the Boogersquawkin finds out how good you are at cleaning the world, the Boogersquawkin will make you BRUSH ITS TEETH. Its ugly, jaggedy, smelly, slimey, boogery teeth. Oh, I can’t believe I had to tell you.
The Boogersquawkin’s mouth is so dirty, it will take you hours and hours and hours and hours. You will need a ladder, and a bucket, and that toothbrush that you used to clean the toilets. The Boogersquawkin will be so happy.
I have to warn you though, if you tell the Boogersquawkin “No!”, or tell the Boogersquawkin that its teeth are so gross and stinky and ugly...
The Boogersquawkin will... CRY! And CRY! And CRY some more. You know why?
Because the Boogersquawkin only wants to have friends and to the Boogersquawkin washing all the dishes in the world and scrubbing all the toilets in the world with a toothbrush is FUN! Can you believe it? What a SILLY Boogersquawkin.
You don’t think these things are fun? Are you sure? Have you ever washed all the dishes in the world or scrubbed toilets with a toothbrush and then scrubbed dirty, stinky Boogersquawkin teeth? No? Then how do you know it isn’t fun? I think you should keep staying awake and then find out...
I will tell you one more thing. One MOST very important thing that you may not want to forget. Listen carefully because this is very true.
The Boogersquawkin cannot see children that are sleeping. EVER. The Boogersquakin can’t even see your house. The Boogersquawkin can only see kids that are awake. It is special magic that sleeping kids have. The faster you go to sleep, the safer you are.
So please, if you want to stay awake, be my guest. You might find out that the Boogersquawkin is really funny and all of that work is the bestest, most wonderfulest, most amazing way to spend the night. You might like scrubbing toilets and washing dishes and tickling the worms in the Boogersquawkin’s toes... What’s that you say?
Good night? Yes, good night. Happy disappearing!

Original story by Allyson Schmidt