My life story part 7

"Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it."
Voltaire

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Source

From February 14th, 1996 to September 11th, 1996 the most difficult period of my life to remember happened. Not because of some new event that happened after my mother's passing did time become hazy but rather because I was unknowingly in a state of extreme shock. All I had was my siblings and Father. My brother was too young to ever know our mother had passed and sadly he never was able to know her either. My Sister seemed to really not fully comprehend the reality of our situation as she seemed extremely happy with all of our new found attention from random family members and friends of the family. McDonald's and random trinkets were often the normal way for strangers and family members alike to greet us for years to come. My father was acting close enough to his old self during this period of time for me to just blindly lean on him for love and support. This was hard to genuinely do as I never felt close to him again especially since he started temporarily paralyzing my mother years earlier. Perhaps I was able to lean on him in some form or fashion because he never really unleashed his full fury on myself or my siblings or maybe it was because he was all we truly had now. I felt as if even though he was the cause of all our troubles, he was all we had and to make matters more difficult my mother never spoke of her predicament to anyone other than to her parents who she finally did so in the last months of her life, so no one would believe me about this monster, and still doesn't.

Every night for months our Father often talked to himself. Often screaming to the top of his lungs he would ask "Why! Did you do this!" Mostly just repeated the question of "Why?!" Even in my state of denial I couldn't help but feel like he was being justly tormented and left with only his own thoughts as a punishment. Many nights we had to put ourselves to sleep.

My Father and I were never really close, because of this I naturally wanted to take advantage of his new attitude. He was more loving than usual at least in his gestures and appearances. He would say all the right things. I too knew this was just an act for soon after my mother's passing, my mother's parents were trying to gain custody of my brother, sister and I. This was spurred on after one of my dad's first DUI's or maybe it was when he left my 2-year-old brother in the family van at a strip club in the middle of the summer I forget.

Luckily, my brother survived being trapped in a hot locked car at a strip club and a car accident he later had with him in the car as well, yes a Driving Under the Influence charge was given then. My father, being a casino cop with Las Vegas Metropolitan police authority and connections especially seeing as his father was once Cheif Deputy Sheriff of the Clark County(Las Vegas) Sheriffs Department, he had 9 lives if you will much like a cat would.

Many court battles between my father and my grandparents(moms side) would ensue in this time period of 7 months. Unfortunately, my mother's late disclosure of her abuse to her parents was in complete vain. Perhaps disclosure years earlier would have been more appropriate but judging on how everything played out it would have been best she never said anything seeing how corrupt and skewed the 'system' really is especially for authority figures like cops. Later on, I would find out religious organizations have the same luxuries as well.

If not for my mother's inability to get off the couch to answer our cordless phone and pacify my grandparents to not come over when they called maybe they would have never come over. It was finally obvious to them how their only daughter was being beaten to a pulp by her husband. I can remember her pleading to not say anything and to go before 'he' came home.

As a child, I saw this anger that I had never really seen in my grandfather happen as my father started to throttle our visits with them. I really never thought twice about it as they were never really around growing up. I can understand now better why they were not. My mom never wanted them to find out how bad things had gotten. Often I could remember the interactions with my father and grandfather to be extremely heated. My mom's father, J.D. or rather Jan Dale Massa(He hates being called Jan😂) would always swear revenge and justice as my dad would often wait until my grandfather was out the door before truly screaming at him and often wouldn't even do that. My father did a great job actually remaining calm in most of these arguments. My grandparents couldn't afford to go to court. They were on fixed incomes but yet the choice to fight for their grandkids was clear. Once the first drunken vehicle incident with my 2-year old brother and father happened they had all the signs from up above that they needed. They were going to fight for us to be separated from the one parent we had left in this world.

Source

Part 1
https://steemit.com/autobiography/@dynamicgreentk/my-life-story

Part 2
https://steemit.com/autobiography/@dynamicgreentk/my-life-story-pt-2

Part 3
https://steemit.com/autobiography/@dynamicgreentk/my-life-story-pt-3

Part 4
https://steemit.com/autobiography/@dynamicgreentk/my-life-story-part-4

Part 5
https://steemit.com/autobiography/@dynamicgreentk/my-life-story-part-5

Part 6
https://steemit.com/autobiography/@dynamicgreentk/my-life-story-part-6

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