Don't Swear, They Said. Keep it Clean, They Said. Well That Can Go Fuck Itself. (~Mature~ Reader Discretion Advised)
Stop the Press! He's Doing it Again! Shut Off the Internet! Quick!
In my last adventure into comedy, I painted my face up like a fucking sock puppet and used words like "poop", "vagina", and "penis"! What I meant to say was shit, pussy and cock!
I made eight fucking cents! Eight cents! Those are some offensive words right there! Who in the hell wants to make an ass outta themselves for eight fucking cents! If I wanted people to flick pennies at me, I'd go back to quitting high school so I could get a job on the streets!
Calm!
I am calm! I'm simply writing in a world that takes their shit far too seriously! It's fucking easy to pretend to be angry as fuck! I'm sure many of you get the joke already! It's the rest of them with those sticks shoved up their asses that have the problem!
It's not my fault they can only read at a grade fucked level!
Fucking Facts!
- This fucking comedy routine sells the living fuck out of stadiums!
- This fucking comedy routine has existed for thousands of years!
- This fucking comedy routine is known as "Off-color humor" you dumb fucks!
- This fucking comedy routine comes in all shapes and sizes!
- Fat, crippled, ugly, bald or tall! It doesn't matter!
- In some forms you're doing it right by using excessive fucking profanities and yelling your fucking head off!
- Shock value! Get it through your thick skulls!
- The only natural feeling when you see someone going batshit crazy and losing their mind is to laugh!
- By now if you still think I'm a ranting lunatic, you should probably vote!
- It's a performance and you were convinced! That means I did a good job!
- Damn near every successful comedian ever in the history of comedy used some form off-color humor at some point in their routine! Assholes!
- There are too many of these mother fuckers to mention!
- They are not limited to stadiums!
- I really don't want to give this article noun syndrome!
Some of my favorites arranged using off-color humor are:
| Eddie Murphy | Richard Pryor |
|---|---|
| Sam Kinison | Bill Hicks |
| Chris Rock | Dave Chappelle |
| George Carlin | Howard Stern |
| Robin Williams that was a dark day and we still miss you. | Me Right Now! |
| Joe Fucking Rogan | Bill Fucking Burr |
"Where the fuck are the ladies you male pig!"
Oh they're out there alright! Remember Roseanne! I thought it was fucking hilarious when she sang that national anthem and ended it with a loogie! Talk about taking it to a whole new level! What really iced the cake for me though was the fact this happened on my tenth fucking birthday!
That's right! Even back then I was brave and smart enough to know the difference between when someone is being serious and when someone is using comedy to make a point! Yet I observed mature adults getting all pissy! I wondered if they really thought they looked attractive while they were red in the face, fucking steam blowing out of their ears, fucking drool and spittle flying out onto the same damn ground while screaming something like,
"You cain't spit on the land of freedom! That bitch done ruined our sing-a-long!"
Even everyone's favorite lesbian, Ellen Degeneres, used off color humor! She didn't fucking swear, because she was using a different form! She wasn't doing it to fight censorship of free speech and freedom of the arts! It was her mission to push for the equal rights so she'd poke fun at a certain group known as straight people! I'm a straight male, I wasn't fucking offended! Good on her to use this form of fucking humor to express a view! It works dammit! Always has!
These days we have too many protection agencies out to protect the false image of what they would prefer women to act like! It's harder for a woman to bust out on the scene, yet they still do! When they do, it's fucking awesome! They find success in shock because for some fucked up reason women don't fart! When they do though, the whole world's jaw drops!
Maybe some of the women on this planet are moody because they can't stand living with the gas pains of this forced reality! Be free ladies! Hold up those lighters to your asses! Lets see some fucking freedom fart fireworks!
Most, if not all of these comedians are or were geniuses!
High IQ! Female and male or male and female, which ever order is politically fucking correct these days! They know the difference between freedom and freedom from censorship! So many before them broke down barriers! They kept getting attacked from every direction! Told what the fuck to say! Told how the fuck to say it! If that's freedom, I'd spit on it as well!
Here's something you've never read or heard until now!
"I'm flagging this! This is absurd! How dare you! There aren't any swears in this article! I can't read this shit! Remove this please! This is not allowed!"
Why doesn't that ever seem to come up! Does it have anything to do with the people who choose to be free also coming fully equipped with respect for another person's freedom! Quite fucking possible and most fucking likely!
How likely is it people have looked down on me as a lesser person than they are for writing the way I chose to write today! I'd say some passed judgement at the title! I think it's fair to say they're under the impression they are smarter than me by default! This happens! It's part of their script! I think they are a cult! The master censor is their leader! They can only obey!
The shocking fucking reality! Those who pass that sort of judgement, sticking their noses up in the air and acting like their shit don't stink... that's the lesser of the bunch and everyone knows it! Even them! Though I still won't treat them poorly, I will call a spade a spade!
Take a banana away from a chimp!
Censorship Update
On a serious note now. As of this writing, two of my articles still remain censored. How this all occurred has been explained and published proudly.
Both articles are greyed out. Once selected, a popup message reads, "This post was hidden due to low ratings."
So, to the interested, this could mean these articles are crap and not worth viewing. I'd say that would be a reasonable thought process that could occur in any number of minds. Especially those who've found the article but are not familiar with Steemit's ways.
One article received 108 votes according to my watch. 16 flags according to my watch. Of those 16 flags, 11 were put in place by one person using a bot. Are there any mathematicians in the house?
Low ratings. My ass.
I look forward to the day these problems are solved. The flagging system has flaws. The flag is not an opinion button. It clearly states the intended purpose of the feature. Ignorance is not bliss when your name is attached to it.
I've taken steps and will continue now to add warnings to my articles when I feel they are necessary. I will also edit the censored articles with the same warning. I don't mind being reasonable. As it stands though, I've not received any official answer, code of conduct, or any official word on why this all occurred and what I can do to help.
Today's piece, as well as the two which have been censored and many other of my humorous articles are legitimate forms of artistic expression. I stand up for all those who broke down the barriers before me as I make it known that I intend to stand up for myself.
I'm not sure if it exists. I did have a look, could not find anything. Use the "offcolorhumor" tag freely if you feel like writing something that falls into that category. I hope that helps the situation. Many people have had success in life using it.
They weren't afraid, I'm not afraid.
But words like fuck and cunt don't shock me at all. I'm British, you see. We don't have the Puritan heritage of north Americans.
I'm Canadian. Those words aren't shocking at all, I agree.
I should probably add.. the use of the word fuck in this case wasn't the driving force behind the humor. If that's all you focused on, I fear you may have missed quite a few things, which is fine.
It's too common that folks focus is on the language and not the topic being addressed. It's easier to be upset with the former inconsequential, than the latter consequential. I see it as huge progress that people can talk about difficult topics these days -- and language like yours helped that.
I remember when Betty Ford, the wife of our President Gerald Ford in the 1970s, was so brave to talk about her breast cancer. Yes, that meant she had to talk about --- wait for it -- breasts, yes, breasts. So many women had to just bury their pain and die before, because it was impolite and discomforting to talk about breasts. If it takes seeing cuss words in every sentence to deal with our taboo issues, bring it on!
This.
I'm not taking this risk to be juvenile and plaster the world with spray painted pictures of dicks. I realize many enjoy the humor, I enjoy writing it. Behind the scenes, this is a protest. It was educational for some, but only if they can find a way to see the lesson.
I have respect for many varying walks of life. A religious person might view my words here today and shun me, kick me to the curb, view me as a lesser under their god than they are. That god, I'm told and shown, works in mysterious ways. These words teach them about a reality they choose not to see and show them an image of themselves they choose to hide behind their reflection.
To the clouded judgement of the only positive thinker, they view me as being negative, which in turn is an act of negativity, their enemy. They will choose not to look for it interferes with their false reflection.
To the journalist, this is deemed unfit for their society, unprofessional, worthless information. A waste of time about a time when their words too were the very same.
To the censor, it is the inferiority complex within themselves, growing. They must act to enforce their imaginary reflection of strength viewed only as weakness within.
Folks work hard to keep themselves affronted.
...and blame everyone else for their efforts.
Yep
excelente post felicidades gracias por compartir
Gracias!
Wow! This one really took off like a bat out of hell! Thanks everyone who voted! ...and those who forgot, thank you too! Those who grumbled, you're still cool!
Im Canadian and I am shocked that there is censorship here! Enserio? What happened to free speech and if you are offended by letters in the alphabet clumped into a specific group then you should just turn away and find another clump you like better! We are creators and freedom to create is a natural right of being.....Let all clumps be, they all have rights!! oh and I am happy to have inspired you create "look at your two fingers!"Fantastic fucking day to you my friend! Clumps unite!! WE should be protesting the children molesters in Politics and those who take away our voices and our freedoms!
I've used the "two fingers" before, but you did help me decide to put it on everything I do.
The "look away" part is good advice, especially for those who become emotional wrecks when they see something they don't like. I think it's important in today's day and age people stop looking away though. Start looking at things as they are instead of labeling them something they are not. Looking away doesn't help the problem unless when they turn they see a mirror.
You're correct, there are bigger fish to fry in this world. People seem to choose to ignore those things and focus on piddly nonsensical values placed on minds by television standards of what's okay to say. It's unnatural to be offended by a clump of letters. It takes a lot of brainwash to get one to come to those conclusions. Once the public is distracted by the words, the politicians can go ahead and fuck the youth of the next generation.
well said..Buen Dia Amigo
y un buen día para ti también (gotta love that google translate)
oh and Add Steve Hughes to your list and George Carlin!! BRAVO!
Fucking great post.
Thank you very much!