Haffanower: End Gamer Plus *disclaimer

nonameslefttouse (74)in #art • 8 years ago (edited)

The Bureau of Official Business or BOB For Short People.

~Hi, I'm Damien. The method to all this madness. BOB will now address the public on behalf of @nonamesleftuse the writer himself. BOB, the floor is yours.

Hi, I'm BOB. I don't really have anything to do with this. The boss @nonameslefttouse the writer himself told me to just stand here and look busy. Did you hear the latest gossip? Apparently @nonameslefttouse has reasonable prices compared to competitors, takes reasonable offers, negotiates prices, gives customers discounts through a rewards program, has new releases weekly, believes in transparency, offers customized art contracts to suit your specific needs, and runs a tight ship.

~Thanks for that, BOB. For only being nearly a foot tall, you sure are a nice... BOB.

-(Haffanower) Promotion* ends March 31, 2017.(*All instances of "Name Pending" in this entire document, including the title will be changed, without notice, when the promotion begins. These documents will appear elsewhere in the future and linked within the promotion itself, when it makes sense to do so. Follow @nonameslefttouse to see what's in store. The promotion is currently a "work in progress," details coming soon. The terms and disclaimer are valid as of writing but some rules are not in place at the moment as they depend on future storyline. Those rules appear as the promotion progresses. Here's my card. If you look hard enough you can find a link to access hidden features related to this blog. That page is also a work in progress and hopefully a temporary solution because I can't stand the middle man.)

Terms of Service

These terms apply to every article on this blog @nonameslefttouse and are subject to change.

Steemit members:

Steem Dollar transfers performed on Steemit.com are my preferred payment procedure. To place an order simply write to [email protected] and make a reasonable offer. Have your Steemit account name stated in the email, preferably as the first word in subject line as well as within the email. (DO NOT share your Steemit account password with anyone!). You will be given a chance(s) to view a better quality image(s) of your interest and state your preferred dimensions and file format, if the product can be customized. Low end jpeg files suitable for any capable screen frame along with high end XPS files ready for your local professional print shop will always be options and are priced accordingly. Yes, you can even carry one around in your phone to show your friends your great taste in art for as low as $2 US. One file is one unit. You must state how many units you would like to purchase before we proceed. Bulk orders for hotels, offices and other establishments are available and will be rationally discounted. When an agreement is reached, you will be given a confirmation code. You must then enter this confirmation code where directed. Ideally in the comment section below the article where your purchase was featured, but that won't always be the case. I will take a screenshot of your comment with confirmation code, personalize it and email that to you as a signed receipt to keep for your records. This will confirm your order, you will transfer required funds and confirm transfer in your final email statement to me. Once I verify, you will receive your order. Both parties will then have what was agreed to with evidence in place. Your name will then be mentioned within the article itself along with a thank you note. Any member who tries to be a sneak thief will have their names publicized and all evidence against them will be provided for all to see. It is strongly recommended you, the customer, keep all related documents for future reference. All customers who qualify will be entered into a rewards pool. The success of the rewards pool leads to potential discounts on your purchase(s). If you purchase after 120 hours of release you will not qualify for rewards. Return customers who build up a report with me will earn easier access and gain an account number. I'm only one person, please be patient. If you do not agree to these terms, we will not be doing business.

The rest of the world:

A facebook page exists but is a work in progress and hopefully a temporary solution to reach valued customers beyond Steemit. Some content on this blog will be linked on that page. Feel free to like and share that page. If you would like to purchase something of mine, send a message to me on that page. We will make arrangements and your product will appear in the store section for the price we agreed upon. You will then be notified of it's availability. That unit under those specifications will remain in the store for others, but the price will be nonnegotiable. Facebook members do not qualify for rewards. If you do not agree to these terms, we will not be doing business.

disclaimer: If you are, were, will be or have been offended by something I've said or done in my past, present, or future within this blog, I must assure you, it was completely unintentional, whatever it was or could be. There is also a strong chance I do not know who you are. Therefore, I am unfamiliar with your personal standards and do not know how to meet those requirements in advance. Any and all disputes will be handled professionally. I do my best to research in advance but sometimes I screw up. If anything you see on my blog offends your intellectual property rights, I will do my best to take care of the situation promptly and professionally. I may, at times, express an opinion about something. In most cases, I will not link to other sources because I strive to have only original content on my blog. If you would like to see something of yours linked within my publications, contact me. All sent and received emails will be logged and used to provide evidence towards any circumstance that may arise which requires evidence in order to proceed professionally. This includes all purchase transactions when email is used to come to an agreement upon who is to provide what and how much. Steemit members who qualify to have their name or link mentioned in one of my articles will be entered into a rewards pool. They then stand a chance of receiving up to 10% of the Steemit rewards accumulated from the individual articles they are mentioned in, up to 5 days from first release. The pool payout will go into effect approximately 120 hours after first release. Once paid out, that particular article no longer qualifies to be in the rewards pool. All revenue generated after 120 hours of publishing does not qualify to be included within any rewards pool offered on this blog. The rewards pool percentage is subject to change. Thieves will not qualify to be entered in this pool even though they will be mentioned in articles. Revenue generated from any theft related article will all go towards making up my losses. All those qualified to be mentioned and included in the pool will receive an equal percentage of the pool. In some cases the Steemit member who qualifies may wish to remain anonymous within the article and that will be honored. Members who made purchases or won prizes will qualify to be named. Dependent on the success of said article, many or a few who qualify may quickly realize they've found a way to get discounted art from this artist. The prizes offered, when offered, are very real, highly illusive, highly collectable and extremely valuable to whomever holds them. There is one person running this entire operation, me. Some instances of patience on your behalf, as well as mine, will prove beneficial. If you do not like my style, I am sorry to hear that. You are under no obligation to participate in any promotion of mine on this blog. All correct answers in regards to questions mentioned in game have been time stamped within an email chain prior to release of this promotion, to be used as evidence against any disputes. Haffanower(Prize) is the current grand prize to the ONE who qualifies. Haffanower(Prize) does not exist on the internet. Anything claiming to be Haffanower(Prize) prior to release day instantaneously makes it fraudulent. Any person(s) claiming to own Haffanower(Prize) prior to release day is lying to you. DO NOT give them your money. All participants must specify their preferred quality and file format of Haffanower(Prize). Those details will be announced when the winner is announced. Smaller, personalized versions of Haffanower will be sold upon request, however, they will not be released until the closing date of this promotion and will not be named. You will receive the highest quality available comically censored version of your choosing (one of three), while you wait. Viewing Haffanower must be earned. Viewing rules have been set for this promotion and must be followed in order to view Haffanower. All game rules are in place and lead to viewing rules. All game rules must be respected and followed. All rules contained within emails sent to you by characters you meet while playing the game must be respected and followed. All communications from any email address or social media page mentioned on this blog are sent by me personally. Bending of the game rules will not be tolerated. I @nonameslefttouse the writer himself reserve the right to remove any person(s) who infringes upon these rules and this disclaimer, as I see fit. The winner of the grand prize will be decided by me, @nonameslefttouse the writer himself, after the promotion is finished. All rules herein must be respected and followed for the winner to be qualified a winner. What I own, I own. My intellectual property rights must be respected, as well as yours. Any problems on that matter will be handled professionally. The Haffanower promotion ends on the last day of MARCH, 2017 (03/31/17). This disclaimer is subject to change. Changes will be dated and added below. Those on the contact list will be notified of changes. Changes will not affect the outcome of any prize. Changes mainly involve including a name which is pending. That name will be placed within this disclaimer when this promotion is announced. That particular change will not be noted. I am not obligated to accept any offers which I feel are unfair. I do not consent to anyone using my intellectual property for their own personal financial gain. This promotion is not a contest. Game rules, viewing rules, promotion rules and this disclaimer cannot be used without prior written consent by the owner. This is the end of the disclaimer. This.

Please contact [email protected] for further information.

*disclaimer applies to all articles on this blog @nonameslefttouse. Haffanower references apply to Haffanower series only. updates to this document will be noted in new documents and linked. This document can not be edited further as of this writing. 11/09/2016

In closing.

These documents are here so I can focus more on what is important. I also hate sounding like a machine. More details will come, when you find them. The comment section is wide open. Open communication is encouraged. I will not give any answers away for any upcoming promotions, you will be disqualified and removed if you give answers away. You'll have a better chance of winning if you try to throw people off course.

Proceeds go to life. My life, your life, everyone's life. 5% percent of anything I earn here on Steemit from the rewards program as well as my private sales, for the rest of my life, will go directly into certain forms of medical research and solutions. Some of this 5% may also go to the Canadian health system and a few local medical facilities, to help fill a few of the potholes in that system. That is my minimum guaranteed basic charity contribution commitment to be paid once annually. The community here is also encouraged to get involved. Dependent on success, many charity events will be held on this blog, so sign up and follow. Unit donations to credible fundraisers will also be considered.

I wrote all of this down to be a perfectionist. If you notice any tragic errors, this only means I'm not as perfect as you are. If they bother you enough, don't be afraid to tell me all about it. You help me, I help you. Many of the clear errors were intentional, please keep that in mind. The crude styling of many things is also intentional, most days.

The art is produced to mimic paint and all of it's "flaws". When printed out properly, the untrained eye would assume it's real paint. That is the effect I strive to achieve, yet with my current technology there are limitations. I also make some really pointless "cartoonish" style stuff and throw it in the mix. Satisfaction is guaranteed to all who purchase though, so I'm sure we'll work something out. I will not be printing my work and mailing those around the world just yet. I see how those packages get kicked around. Professional printers are located all over the world and know how to handle my files. If you see something of mine hanging on their walls for sale though, let me know. Rewards are always given out to those who have my back. I don't represent the corporations most people hate and no dogs are being kicked while I work, no kids are being forced to knit things, I respect all things deserving of respect. I hope others can respect mine.

Thank you for taking the time to enjoy this entire...whatever it is, I'm doing. You witnessed so much about my life hidden away in this contraption I call Haffanower and elsewhere on my blog. You saw so much. Even if you're not interested in the prize, have a look around. If you're new here, everything I did proves someone who had no clue on day one can have a business up and running in under one month. This does not guarantee success in the future though. Since that is the case, I won't be stopping any time soon. I'll be busy working on the next plan. Things take time though. I intend to carry on creating my own word/art combinations for the world to enjoy.

My artwork now and in the future is always for sale. I have a huge catalog of well over 80 unique pieces to choose from. Contact me and you can view some samplers. Those are also available to view on this blog. Watch for new flyers as well. Some will also appear on this blog in the future. XPS files are available in many formats, ready for the print shop professionals near you. Custom sizes are available for most. Please stay tuned (follow me) for more fucked up shit @nonsameleftouse. Speaking like a programmed manifestation of my ideal employee isn't for me. I'm glad this part is done.
...and please, don't forget to vote. I can't do this without those at this point.

Credits:

~Thank you to all the Steemit members who've stepped up to help along the way. Thank you to all current followers as well. I've no clue how you found me, but you did, and I'm glad you came early.~

~I feel like a famous person's fart.~

~All of this, was, and is still being, performed in front of a live internet audience. Unscripted, uncensored, and when I have time.~

~Hey clowns, thank you for being an inspiration all these years. Story coming soon. Here's my card.~

~This is our world and this is my freedom~

~I better not quit my job, yet.~

~art, writing, editing, production, reverse direction, advertising, promotions, social media, studio, business, cook, grand standing is the "selfly" educated one man band left standing @nonameslefttouse. Come visit Whonamezuh Studio someday, when it isn't this small bedroom.~

~Mom, keep on fighting, the whole world will have your back soon. I love you.~

~~Three weeks of absolute madness now becomes clear. I'd like to dedicate this to my little j and my little k. Who are becoming bigger J's and bigger K's. Thank you so much for being such great kids. You two inspired me to do this, you supported me even when things started to sound crazy. I love you... and lets not forget the deer.~

~and anyone else I missed~

Random comment from a made up "Helen" said:

OOOOH my Gosh, lookit. Wait. What the fuck? How did he do that? Coincidence? It's like 80's cartoons inspected his gadget! It's like dirt bikes, but kittens! It's like we should buy him a dodge viper! It's like the fridge beat the fat kid and said nothing because fridges can't talk! I like this. Oh! I heard there's a way to contact him. Something about a note. Plus he's not stopping any time soon and loves to speak to those who enjoy the stupid shit he does. So have fun. I know I did.

C. Ensorship was heard running with a coyote on his ass. He smoked crack and later rambled:

Beep! Beep! This is BEEP! BEEP YOU, BEEP YOU, BEEP YOU AND MOST ESPECIALLY. BEEP you, the lover of this art. Are you stupid? This is not allowed! How dare you like something we don't! In my day...-

...I think I've heard enough beeping. I find it highly offensive. I don't understand how that sound appeals more to someone than a simple, fucking, word. Have a nice day.